Hate me. (Minsung)

//17//

•••
love is something hard to get.

it's something people constantly make seem easy. as if it were granted to people.

you are born into this world with someone to love you unconditionally, and you will only get more people who love you as time goes on.

but there is never a moment where you are unloved.

people love to make it seem this way.

but it's not.

jisung learned at a very young age that being loved was a privilege, not a right.

having a hand to hold isn't always granted to you, and even if it was at the start, it can be so easily be ripped out of your grasp.

you could feel warmth with someone, and then feel nothing but cold and darkness in a single turn.

jisung remembered his mother.

he remembered her how he wanted to remember her.

only chosing to remember how she used to be.

the way she would smile and cheer whenever he would do something, even if it wasn't anything significant or grand.

the way she would hold him. the way she would coarse her hands through his hair in the way she knew would calm him down and relax him.

the way she would pat his back whenever they cuddled up with each other in an endless pattern until jisung fell asleep.

he remembered that of her.

but tried to block out when the lovingness stopped.

it all seemed to crumble down on a single day. everything was suddenly destroyed, and five year old jisung couldn't understand at the time.

he didn't understand where his father was going with all his bags packed. he couldn't understand why he didn't say bye to him before he left, nor why his mother was crying and screaming after him.

he couldn't understand why she was on the floor, her face in her hands as tears fell and pooled on the wooden floor.

all he knew that he was confused. he stood there, his hands softly clutching at each other, his heart beating in his throat in fear despite not knowing what he was scared of.

there he watched his mother in a heap on the ground, listening to the way their car was starting and in the next moment was driving away.

what was going on?

"mommy.." his voice wobbled at her state as he took a step closer. "where's daddy going?" his young voice didn't reach her ears.

or maybe it did. he would never be too sure.

~~~

"there!" felix exclaimed, his eyes lighting up at his own work. "all done!" he clapped his hands, taking a step back to observe his work.

felix had a whole lot of fun using all his new tools on jisung, and viewing the outcome.

he bought some glittery makeup, always loving the way it looked, and loving it even more on his best friends face.

"that was fast. did you like all the products?" jisung tilted his head as the australian stared down his face.

felix instantly nodded furiously. "you look so pretty!!" he complimented, immediately going to grab the mirror so jisung could look at himself.

the moment the blonde held the mirror, his eyes went wide.

felix somehow got better since the other day. there was black liner decorating his eyes, highlight so softly put in the corner of his eyes, with glitter littering just under his water line.

it looked like he was about the cry the most prettiest stream of glitter tears ever known to man, and he admired the way the glitter shone in the light whenever he moved his face.

the way there was black smoked from his lash line also looked professionally done, and the way felix applied lip colors to jisung made his lips look so soft and kissable.

"oh my god felix.." he gaped, eying himself as if he didn't recognize the reflection as his own. "you made me look like a kpop idol.. how the hell did you do this?! i look so good!"

the australian could only giggle, flinging his imaginary long locks from his shoulder at the praise. "pfff it's nothing." he gushed, immediately going to dig out his phone.

jisung was too caught up looking at himself to realize that there was a flash from felix's phone capturing his face.

jisung blinked at the brightness, and only then did he process the picture. he put down the mirror. "hey!" he complained.

"what? i need to document my work." felix defended, clicking back on the blurry picture. he sucked on his teeth as he observed it.

"you blinked! here, let me take another." there was another flash across jisung's face before he could process it.

he reached forward to grab the phone, but felix was too fast, moving away. "oooo! this one looks so good!!" he screamed, smiling brightly at the screen.

"you know i hate pictures!!" jisung whined, trying to get the device but again not being able to.

"let me take just one more? please??" felix pushed jisung back to sit on the bed, using his best set of puppy eyes he could possibly muster.

and jisung was a weak boy.

so after two seconds of staring back at the shiny brown eyes, jisung sighed and nodded- making felix instantly brighten up.

"i love you jisung!!!" he squealed, going back to set properly get a nice position for his picture.

jisung sat there, not knowing what to do. "what do you want me to do..?" he murmured, feeling shy all of a sudden.

however felix lunged into action at the question, immediately propping jisung up according to the image in his head for the picture.

"put your hand here," the freckled boy instructed, resting jisung's palm against his neck, making jisung shyly swallow.

"you want me touching my neck?" he questioned, however felix quickly shushed him.

"yes! and look down with your eyes. trust me. tilt your head up a bit- PERFECT. DON'T MOVE."

it took about five solid seconds for felix to snap the photo, gasping so loud that jisung was sure he ripped his vocal cords. "THIS IS PERFECT." he screamed, immediately turning his phone around to show jisung.

jisung nervously laughed. "oh wow-"

he watched the screen as felix added a nice pretty colored-filter over it, giving it an even better affect.

before jisung could even process what was happening, he saw felix open instagram and type something at gods speed.

right as his finger hit post, jisung's eyes widened and he screamed in delayed realization.

"FELIX!! YOU DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE GONNA POST IT- TAKE IT DOWN!" jisung was already trying to grab felix's phone again, making the australian scream and quickly lock his phone.

"it's too late!!!" he said back, ignoring the way jisung was still trying to get the device from his grip despite it being locked.

"felix i'm gonna kill you-"

"look! people already started to like it! come on, please lemme keep it up! i post makeup progress on my account all the time! plus, you look so incredibly good that it would be wrong to keep it to ourselves..!"

felix had a very skilled way in convincing jisung to do something he very much did not want to do, so again he groaned and fell back against the bed. "okay! fine."

"yay! you're the bestest!" felix hugged jisung happily.

and jisung sighed, nodding and patting felix's back. "yeah, yeah.."

(A/N MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!!!)