Hate me. (Minsung)

//67//

there was something so agonizingly difficult about letting go of the past.

whether it be good memories, or tainted ones.

for some reason the memories jog up your brain and come at random times- either igniting a feeling or nostalgia or embarrassment.

why can't it just be forgotten?
why not be normal and not think about the past?

it was terrible living in the past, but sometimes it couldn't be helped.

it was cold, and jisung decided to go outside.

he underestimated the weather. wearing a sweater that was far too thin to provide any comfort, jisung sat outside not too far from their dorm.

there was a seating area outside of their campus, and he was the only one there. given the fact that he was crazy enough to be out in this weather.

he shivered, but that wasn't in the front of his mind.

what was: minho.

he couldn't understand why he had felt so guilty for yesterday.

realistically; he hated minho. he despised him and couldn't stand him.

but he couldn't shake what he read and how the older reacted to him doing so.

he wouldn't have cared in the past. except he does.

thinking about the past was dragging him down the entire day. not just about minho, but about everything. every situation from the past had flashed in his head at one point or another today.

he sneezed, shivering and wrapping his arms around his cold frame.

being outside always helped clear his mind, but now it's proven to be a stupid idea.

"what are you doing out here?" a voice broke jisung out of his mind. he turned his head and looked behind him.

he recognized minho's voice, but he didn't understand how or why he suddenly seemed to spawn there.

"i thought you were out." he questioned, voice coated with confusion as the ravenette stood there.

"i just got out of work." he paused to eye jisung suspiciously. "why are you here?" he repeated.

"oh.." jisung mumbled. "just thinkin." he said.

"your cheeks are blotchy."

"yeah duh, it's cold."

"why didn't you put on a coat then?"

"i wasn't thinking."

"you never do."

jisung rolled his eyes and turned his body to put his focus back in front of him.

"the fresh air is nice." he argued. "and last time i checked, you're still standing out here too." he quipped, earning an airy scoff in return.

"i was walking home." minho walked around the bench and held out the tiny bag in his hand toward his face. "it's warm."

jisung raised an eyebrow. "what is it?"

"poison." he stated, making jisung pause and look up at him with a deadpanned expression.

"it's bread, good god. i bought more than i ate." minho dropped the bag in jisung's lap, growing impatient waiting for him to take it.

jisung looked into the bag, sighing a little before taking out the chocolate bread.

"are you mad at me?" he asked, undoing the wrapping.