Hate me. (Minsung)

//66//

"felix i really messed up." there was no point in pretending he didn't.

jisung had woken up this morning to an empty dorm, and it only made him feel worse about what he did.

he figured minho wanted to be away from him, and he couldn't even blame him.

what he did was disrespectful and nosy. he felt terrible. not to even mention the contents of the journal.

in total he was a guilty mess that was struggling to figure out how to redeem himself.

jisung held the sides of his face and groaned in agony.

"listen, i'm sure whatever you did can't be as bad as how you normally treat him." felix said, smiling in a terrible effort to comfort him.

jisung slumped down. "gee thanks felix."

suddenly there was patting against his back.

they were in jisung's dorm. the blonde invited felix over in a moment of guilt.

he hadn't explained anything other than that 'he messed up'.

jisung plopped down into the mattress, resting his head on top of felix's lap. the calming strokes against his back did actually help a little.

"okay just relax. i'm sure you're overthinking it, whatever it is. i'm sure it's not as bad as you're making it out to be. and if it's really bothering you this much, just say sorry."

say sorry.

hm.

why did that feel more difficult than it typically did.

"say sorry? to minho?" jisung shot up and waited to see if felix was joking.

but the lack of laughter and the serious expression told jisung he was being 100% serious.

"yes. apologize. isn't that what one typically does if they did something they feel bad about?" felix questioned, raising an eyebrow.

jisung sighed and rubbed his face. "yea, theoretically. yes. but i'm scared."

"jisung." felix moved his hands away from his face. "what did you even do?"

the big brown eyes staring into jisung's eyes made the blonde feel a little more relaxed. he could no longer fight the urge to tell felix what happened.

he took in a big breath of air and deflated. "i read his journal."

"what."

"I TOLD YOU IT WAS BAD!" jisung wiggled his hands out of the australian's to cover his face again and throw himself back onto his bed.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??" felix questioned, blinking in disbelief.

"because! it was an accident." jisung pouted, grabbing one of his emergency plushies to hug.

"it was on his desk when i was trying to help clean. i saw my name written down, and i knew i shouldn't have touched it but i couldn't fight the urge. i read a few pages from his childhood to his teens.."

saying it out loud sounded even worse.

felix sighed, rubbing his temples. "then he caught you, didn't he?"

jisung nodded, nibbling down on his lower lip.

"oh wow."

"i want to say sorry but how?"

felix leaned back against the wall and grabbed one of the plushies there for himself. "just be honest."

jisung blinked.