Hate me. (Minsung)

//20//

•••
the first time jisung realized something was wrong with his mother, he was deeply upset by it.

he was upset because he didn't like seeing her cry.

the bus dropped him home from school, and the five year old knocked on the front door after twisting the door to find out that it was locked from the inside. jisung had never needed a key before- hell, he didn't even know how to use one as simple as it was.

he knocked a few more times, harder against his tiny knuckles because he figured his mother must've not heard him.

however, after the tenth row of knocks- the tiny jisung realized that she wasn't hearing him.

he stopped and looked around. he eyed the two big windows that had been there in front of his door, and he could tell from where he was standing outside that they were locked as well.

he let out a little huff, his cheeks puffing out slightly as he looked around some more. stepping off his porch, he began making his way round the house.

he looked at each and every window at the top of it to see if it was latched locked- to which they were. each and every single one.

the five year old began to lose hope until his eyes landed on the back door of his house, forgetting of it's complete existence up until now. he smiled brightly upon seeing it, rushing up to it and hoping that this was his way in.

looked like luck was on his side, because the moment he attempted to turn the handle the door opened and made way for him.

jisung walked in, shutting the door softly behind him as he observed the kitchen from where he entered.

it was a mess, but that had been becoming normal lately. he didn't bat an eye at the scattered plates and papers that he couldn't read.

instead he walked in further, peeking his head through door frames to see if he could spot his mother anywhere. when he finally made his way to the last place he expected to see her- she was there.

in the living room propped on the couch, relying on her hand to keep her head up from the arm rest, eyes boring into the television screen in front of her.

jisung looked at her, and then back at the front door just a few feet away from her. the one he had been knocking on merely minutes earlier.

jisung examined the scene with big unknowing eyes, slowly making his way into the room further and placing his backpack down on the floor carefully.

upon seeing her face, jisung could see the trace of dried tears decorating it. he frowned, walking over and getting up on the same couch she was sitting on.

without saying anything, the five year old crawled over to sit right next to her. he so vividly heard her tired sniffling. he snuggled up to her side while her eyes blankly continued to meet the television.

he brought her arm up and wrapped it around himself with his tiny hands, leaning into her side.

"don't cry mama.." he said with a pout.

but he never did get a reply.

~~~

"this is my final day here." jisung's roommate declared after entering their now half empty dorm room- patting jisung's arm as a weird intro to a goodbye.

jisung frowned, looking up at his tall roomie from where he sat on the bed. "but i don't want you to leave." he started to complain again.

jisung had already gotten comfortable with him. he liked how he was calm, polite, and quiet. he liked that he was also extremely weird sometimes.

he was gonna miss it, screw him for enjoying his company!

his roommate smiled sadly and went to pat his head instead. "have you filed in for a new roommate?" he questioned, making jisung groan and flop back onto his bed.

"yeah. but they told me i'm most likely gonna have to wait a while. no one really is looking for a roommate right now, and there were no options when i requested it. so i might be alone." he sighed.

"wow. you're welcome for that~" the other joked, making jisung lightly push him.

"i hope everything goes smoothly for you." jisung smiled after, making the other smile in return.

"thank you. i'm gonna start getting all my things together now." he gave a thumbs up before heading off to get his stuff.

he left after another solid goodbye, and after a appreciative hug.

but the moment the door shut, jisung was all alone in the dorm. it felt weird.

there he was on his bed, looking around the dorm room as if he'd hadn't been living there for quite a long time already.

he sat, fumbling with his fingers as he sighed a bit. he wasn't used to living alone anymore.

the room felt empty. all the boxes were gone, and so were any remnants of his nameless roommate once living there with jisung.

it felt very weird. and he hated it.

deciding that he wouldn't be able to suffer in this room any longer, jisung looked over to try and find his bag.

without much thought, jisung picked it up from the floor and slung it over his shoulder and picked up the keys that were in the key holder.

he opened the door after slipping on his shoes, turning off the lights and shutting the door behind him.

he was gonna go to the library. simply because he felt like it.

on his way there, he passed by a few familiar faces that he grew accustomed to in his art class- but didn't do anything except for acknowledge them silently in his head.

he was too afraid to do anything else- wishing he could will himself to give even a slight wave to let them know he was friendly.

but that didn't happen.

jisung entered the gigantic library and smiled a little to himself. he felt instantly better.

he sighed happily and looked around to find a spot he felt like sitting in today.

he spotted a small table next to an outlet, and immediately decided he wanted to sit there. he quickly went over, placing his belongings down on the table before taking out his laptop from his bag.

he propped it up and opened up his sketchbook next to it, taking out a random mechanical pencil that was messily thrown in his bag.

he went to youtube, going to the search bar and typing in 'fnaf lore' to watch the entire playlist full of theories he found extremely interesting.

he put on his headphones and let the first video play, scribbling random project ideas and doodles down on the blank pages.

this was already so much better than being cramped in his lonely dorm room.