The Kim Family Tetralogy

13

"Jin," Jiwoo said looking out the window of the coffee shop they were sat in, this rainy Sunday afternoon. "this isn't really going anywhere is it?"
"What do you mean?" Jin looked up, he had been reading.
Jiwoo looked at him, "Us."
"What do you mean?"
"Jin, we've been going out for almost a year now, and..." Jiwoo sighed.
"And?"
"And, well, we haven't... all that's really happened is you've touched my boob, once, you haven't even tried to,"
"You know I'm not comfortable with that stuff!" Jin interrupted her.
"I know, and that's why I'm saying,"
"What are you saying?" he interrupted her again.
"Maybe we should break up?" she sighed.
Jin was stunned. "Well, this was unexpected."
"Was it, Jin? Was it really?" she asked, a bit agitated.
"Yes. It was. I'm not sure how I feel about this, it's kinda out of the blue..." he quieted, "but if that's what you want, I don't see how I could stop you, if that is what you want?"
"What do you want?" Jiwoo crossed her arms infront of her.
"I don't know! I thought things were going fine?" Jin whined.
"Jin, are you even attracted to me? I mean..." she asked, feeling more vulnerable than ever.
"I know what you mean, and I told you, I'm really not comfortable with that stuff!"
"That's my point!" she shouted, and hushed, "Can you even imagine wanting to have sex with me, at some point?"
"Schh!" Jin looked around with a wild look on his face, "You're seriously asking me this in here?"
Jiwoo sighed, "Let's go talk in the car then."
"Fine." Jin stood up, put his jacket on on stalked out of there, leaving Jiwoo to fend for herself, which was really out of character for him.
He was already in the car, moping, when Jiwoo got in and sat next to him in the passenger's seat.
He didn't say a word.
Jiwoo sighed.
"My question still stands, Jin."
He didn't answer.
"Can you see yourself wanting to have sex with me, like, ever?" she asked again.
"What are you saying? That you want to have sex with me?" Jin finally spoke.
"YES!" she shouted, "So badly, I'm in love with you! Of course I wanna have sex with you, that's kinda what you want to do with people you're in love with!"
"Huh."
"This is what I mean, Jin, you're just not attracted to me, are you?" she demanded an answer.
"Attracted, as in want to have sex with you?"
"YES!"
He became quiet.
The movies lied, he decided. In every, freaking, movie, he had ever seen it was always the guys that was pushing for sex. He felt unprepared and uneducated.
"Let's face it, Jin, your more physical with Namjoon than you are with me," Jiwoo accused him.
"That is simply not true, I haven't once kissed Namjoon!" Jin defended himself.
"Well, maybe you should?" she looked at him poignantly.
"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"
"Jin," she took his hands and looked him straight in the eye, "you need to at least consider the possibility that you're gay."
He gulped, not sure he liked where this was going.
She continued, "have you even had a hard-on with me, or thinking of me?"
He went full tomato.
Not only 'cause of the question, but because he, in fact, hadn't, "Maybe I'm asexual?" he tried evading.
"Well, do you, you know?" she motioned her head.
Tomato 2.0. Again with that question!
"Of course you do." she smiled looking down, "So I'm gonna go ahead and call it, you're, and I'm like 99.9 percent sure here, gay."
"But I like hanging out with you," he protested, "and talking to you and cuddling with you and kissing you!"
"Yeah, but,"
"And I really thought you liked hanging out with me too?" he could feel tears forming in his eyes.
"I do! I really do!" she wiped a tear from his chin, "It's just, at some point," she had to gather her thoughts, "I want to be in a relationship that I believe has a real future, you know? Something that could deepen into lifelong love, at some point. God! I'm starting to sound like a broken record!" her voice broke, "And I don't see us going in that direction, Jin." she started crying, "And believe me when I say I really wanted that with you." now they were both crying, "'Cause your an amazing guy, and I really love you!"
"I love you too!" Jin cried.
"I know." she nodded, "But are you in love with me?"
"I really thought I was." Jin sniffled, "At least before today!"
They both laughed through their tears.
"So you think you could be? Gay?"
Jin nodded, then shrugged, "I don't know," he admitted, "but I think it's possible, yes."
She cupped his face, "Then you need to find out, baby."
That broke them.
They cried a good long while in eachother's arms, so sad they were over.