The Kim Family Tetralogy

34

"If you absolutly need to be smoking, get a fucking vape pen or something, I can't stand the smell!" Yoongi shouted at Taehyung, filing his seventh complaint this week.
"Ok." Taehyung said, got up from the porch and into his car and drove off.
"Aaargh!" Yoongi stomped his foot. Why couldn't people just, be, ok?
He went inside and called Jin.
"You need to get over here and talk some sense into your brother!" Yoongi yelled as soon as Jin picked up, "He's started smoking, and he's not eating, and he's not sleeping, and his paintings all look like they're melting, or dripping or dissolving or something, and it's like he's not even here any more, even if he's standing right infront of you!"
"I'll be right over." Jin bit out.
"Well, he's not in right now, so, no hurry." Yoongi calmed down.
"I'll be right over anyway. I want to ask you some more questions."
"Fine." Yoongi ended the call.
'Note to self,' he thought, 'never have kids.'
He couldn't handle feeling this helpless.

Taehyung drove to the nearest convenient store to get an e-cigarette. He didn't even like smoking, it just, gave him something to do.
And it calmed his nerves.
At least it felt like it calmed his nerves.
"Thank you." he said to the cashier.
He'd chosen some sort of fruit flavor for the liquid.
'This isn't as bad as the real deal.' he thought.
Still tasted like crap though.
And was probably just as bad for you as normal smoke, but, who cared?
Not him. That's for sure.
"My life sucks." he said out loud for the nth time.
He couldn't even be in the same town as Jungkook without feeling like he'd fall apart. Not to mention the overwhelming desire to just touch him, hold him, be close to him.
He knew that this was all temporary, that they would be able to be with eachother again.
But at the same time he couldn't really believe it.
Their lawyer was slowly making progress with their lawsuits, they'd even found evidence of who'd really uploaded the clips, but.
It was like one part of Taehyung's brain couldn't belive the other, reasonable, part anymore.
"My life sucks." he said once more and started the car.

Jin was seated at the kitchen table when Taehyung got back.
"Omg, Tae!" Jin jumped up from his chair and pulled his brother in for a long hug as tears escaped his eyes.
Jin couldn't bring himself to let Tae go for a long time so he just held him, feeling like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.
Tae stood there, letting Jin hold him, feeling completely numb, as usual.
Jin finally let him go and motioned him to sit down with him.
"Tae," Jin's voice was a bit shaky so he cleared it, "Taetae," he started over, "I think you're depressed."
Tae snapped, "Of course I'm depressed! I can't be with the love of my life!" he calmed down, "Of course I'm depressed." he mumbled down at the table.
"No, Tae. I think you're clinically depressed."
"There's a difference?"
"Quite." Jin assured him, "If you feel down because, well, your dog died or something, that's normal. A normal feeling. A normal sad. And you'll grieve, and you'll cry, and you'll get on with your life, still being a mess. But, when you're clinically depressed, well, your brain isn't working like it should and you pretty much lose the ability to feel anything."
Tae looked out the window, "Well I can't be with my boyfriend so." of course he'd feel down, "I just have to pull myself together, that's all. Don't worry."
"Taehyung, that's what I'm saying, you can't! Yoongi told me how you look like you're made of stone all the time and I see what he means, your face is completely blank! Void of any emotion. And you're, gone! There's nothing left of you! My God Tae you must've lost half your weight since I last saw you!"
Jin tried to calm down, but it wasn't easy! Seeing his brother like this! His sweet Taetae! No, he'd break down if he went down that path.
He shook his head and reached for the doctor inside him, "The part of your brain that you need to be able to pull yourself together is the part that's not working! It's as much use to 'try and pull yourself together' when you're clinically depressed as telling an amputee to just 'use your missing limb, will ya'!'" he explained.
"So?"
"So let me help you!" Jin begged.
"What's the point?" Tae sighed.
"What's the point?!" Jungkook cried from the door, running over to Taehyung kneeling infront of him and taking his cold hands into his own, warm ones, "Taehyung, baby, please, please let Jin help you, please!" he lifted Tae's hands and kissed them.
"You shouldn't be here." Taehyung said toneless.
"Neither should you." Jungkook said and lifted him up, with one hand under his knees and the other gently 'round his back and walked out of there carrying Tae in his arms.
Namjoon held the door open.
Jungkook had pestered him relentlessly to get him to spill where Jin had gone in such a hurry, and then made him give him a ride over to Yoongi's place.
"Come on baby," Namjoon said to Jin and nodded his head outside, "Let's go home."
Jin managed to break free from his ice cold state and got up, "Thank you for calling me." he said to Yoongi.
"Bah, what are friends for?" Yoongi shrugged.
Maybe his favourite rascal would come back soon, now.
Yoongi had such a sweet spot for Taehyung, it had hurt his very being, seeing him like this.
He couldn't handle this much pain in the people he loved!
Everyone just needed, to, stop, bothering, his people!

Jungkook had refused to let go of Taehyung even in the car, and sat with him in his lap, kissing his face, touching every part of Tae as to make sure nothing was broken.
Taehyung didn't think Jungkook was even aware he was crying the whole way home.
Tae wanted to comfort him, he just didn't know how, anymore! It was like he couldn't unlock himself again.
But he didn't want his Bunny to be sad!
So he'd lifted his hand to Kook's face, to wipe away his tears, making Jungkook cry even more and hide his face against Tae's neck.

"Jungkook, this is a bad idea." Tae protested as Kook was carrying him up the stairs at home.
"We're so close with the lawsuits and you're doing so well, baby! When I saw you take home that gold medal, all of this was worth it, Jungkook!" Tae tried to persuade Jungkook to let him leave again, as he was laying them down on the bed in their room.
The room Jungkook hadn't used for almost a year.
"Tae," Jungkook interrupted, "I'm not letting you go, you hear that? I'm holding you tonight and every fucking night to come from this day forward! Do you understand? I love you! I need you! I'm a mess without you! Winning that medal meant nothing to me because you weren't there with me!"
There was a long silence.
A, long, silence.
Taehyung didn't seem to breathe, making Jungkook just a little bit scared, for real.
And then...
"I've missed you so much!" Taehyung wailed with a keening sound Jungkook never wanted to hear again.
Ever.

Tae began to cry the heartbreaking, earth shattering, tears he'd been holding in for so long.
The same tears Jungkook had cried that first night of their separation. When his mom and Mr Kim had gone home and he'd let it all out.
Jin had held him, then, probably saving his life, when he thought his heart would literally break and he would die from the pain, calling out Tae's name, and Jungkook would do the same for Taehyung now.
"I love you, I love you, I love you," he whispered, not sure if Taehyung could even hear him in there, in his pain.
But he knew, from experience, that was what Tae would want to hear, if he did. Hear him.

"Coach, I just want to say that it has been a privilege to be on your team and have you as my coach. I couldn't have made it this far without you, so, thank you!" Jungkook stood in the head coach's office, dead tired from getting no sleep whatsoever, holding his man close as Tae cried and cried the whole night through.
"Jungkook, you've just won a fucking World Championship gold medal! Are you telling me you're quitting? A year before the olympics? Are you insane?"
Jungkook sighed and sat down after getting an approving nod to his silent request.
"Coach," he paused, "I can't do this anymore." he held out his arms in an apologetic gesture, "It's killing me. It's killing Taehyung." he looked down and shook his head, "I've spent this last year fueling everything with my fury from being, as I see it, wrongfully forced away from my boyfriend that I'm still very much in love with, as a matter of fact." he shook his head again, "But I've burnt off all that anger and now I'm just tired." he shrugged, "I can't go on pretending that I'm not gay and in love with a man, anymore. I'm sorry. It's just not who I was brought up to be."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to go to the principal's office and I'm going to tell him I'm out, if they don't let me be who I am."
"I'm coming with you." Hobi said from behind as he stepped inside and put a hand n Jungkook's shoulder.
"Hobi, no! This isn't your fight!" Jungkook tried to dissuade him.
"Yeah. It is." Hobi said, "You know it is." he nodded, "And besides this, mind, fuck, thing, I have going on, doesn't seem to be going anywhere, and the school has been less than willing to pay for my therapy, that apparently will be the solution, they tell me. So I might as well do my bloody military service next year and be done with it."
Lately, Hobi had been having trouble performing at his best during competitions. He figured he was self sabotaging somehow, seeing as he could easily fly over the current world record at practise. Just not when it mattered.
"Well let's go then." the coach said and got up from his chair.
"Coach!" Jungkook protested, "You, really, don't need to do this!"
"Yes. I do." Coach said, with emphasis, "And besides, I would really like to hear what the school has to say about its two star athletes threatening to drop out because of their mishandlement of your personal lives!"
He was out the door, "And," he said smiling, "you might need a witness."