The Kim Family Tetralogy

22

Yesterday had been an emotional roller coaster for everyone. But it had also made Hobi think.
He did not trust Jimin. And, well, as Minho had put it, that was kind of what it was all about.
Even before the chlamydia debacle Hobi didn't trust Jimin. In fact, out of everyone in their friend circle, Jimin was the one he trusted the least.
That's not a good foundation for a relationship, Hobi finally settled on. Not for him, anyway. Maybe some people thrived on uncertainty, but Hobi wasn't one of them.
He needed to end things with Jimin.
Permanently.
He sighed.
Everything just had to happen at the same time, hadn't it?
The shit show convergence, he snickered to himself.
He'd decided to FaceTime Jimin, but he was dreading the call.
"Fuck it!" he clicked on the app and chose Jimin, hoping he'd answer.
"Hey." Jimin said.
"Hey."
They just looked at eachother in silence.
"I figured we needed to talk." Hobi said.
"You're probably right." Jimin agreed.
"Is now a good time?"
Jimin shrugged a yes, "Is everyone ok?" he wanted to know.
"Yeah, you've heard about the?" Hobi waved his hand.
"Yeah. Tae called me yesterday." he shivered, "Fucking crazy!"
"Yeah."
"But everyone's ok?"
"Yes. And no." Hobi sighed, "Everyone's under a lot of pressure, but I guess we're making do. How's things with you?"
"I'm working my butt off." Jimin confessed, "So I guess I'm good?"
"You could have told me. Or at least used a condom!" Hobi blurted out, he couldn't make small talk any longer.
"I know! I, just. I wanted you so badly and, I didn't want to spoil your gold, and you would've understood if I insisted we use a condom and, I just couldn't do that to you that night!"
"So instead you put me at risk?" Hobi shook his head, "I get why, I mean, I'm not mad at you for following your dream or even ending it with me. We gave it a shot, it didn't work, I'll always love you, but... I mean I'm not even that mad at you for cheating on me. I did kind of disappear on you, and let's be honest, we weren't all that stable to begin with." he shrugged, "but not, giving me chlamydia? Jimin, that's some next level shit!" he silenced, "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you for that, Jimin. It could have been so much worse! I feel like you've stabbed me, and..."
"You and me, both." Jimin whispered through his tears, he'd begun silently crying, "I don't know who I am, anymore." he confessed, "Not only were you my boyfriend, and I did love you Hobi, I still love you, but you're one of my best friends as well, and I did that to you!" he shook his head, "I'm so ashamed." his crying intensified, "I don't know how I'll be able to live with myself, knowing I did that to you! I'm so sorry!"
"I'm sorry too." Hobi sighed, "Can we just, at least, close the door on this? Can we agree that we aren't a good idea? That we're through?"
"Is that what you want?" Jimin asked.
"I, yes. I think it is, yeah." Hobi acknowledged, "I think it's best we let go of this and try to move on, before we hurt eachother in ways we'll never be able to recover from."
"Yeah. You're probably right. I am, and will always be, sorry for everything I put you through, Hoseok, and I'll probably live to regret having let you go, but, I'm not the one for you. Not right now, anyway." he shrugged, "But chances are you'll be the one that got away for the rest of my life!"
"Maybe you should've thought about that before you fucked things up?" Hobi hissed.
"I know!" Jimin had no defense. It had all been so fucking stupid!

They sat in silence for a while.
"In some ways it felt like we broke up that night on the beach." Jimin was looking down, thinking back to Jeju Island, "But none of us wanted to accept that so we kept going, eventhough we didn't become any closer. And I am sorry for not ending it with you that night." Jimin looked up, "I should have, but, I'd loved you from afar for so long, and it was this dream come true, I, I didn't want to realise, I didn't want to admit I'd made you up, not when the real you is such an amazing guy!"
"But not like you dreamt me." Hobi whispered.
"No."

"Ok, Jimin." Hobi had started crying, "I hope you find what you're looking for, and I do wish all the best things for you, but I need to go cry my eyes out now, so...?"
Jimin was full on ugly crying, "I love you, please tell everyone I love them and that I'm sorry for disappointing all of you! And please keep me in the loop of everything that's going on! Any developments, yeah?"
"I will." Hobi promised.
"I'm so sorry! I love you. Take care, Hoseok! I'll miss you! I do miss you! I'm sorry!"
"I'm sorry too, I miss you too! Let's just?"
"Ok. Bye!" Jimin ended the call.
And Hobi broke down.
God dammit, it hurt!