The Kim Family Tetralogy

9

It was just the two of them in there.
Everyone else had gone to the bathroom or to get coffee or maybe they were just staying away?
To get the brothers some time alone?
Taehyung didn't know.
He had a hard time talking to Jin.
He wanted to fucking punch him in the face for being so fucking stupid, but.
"What's wrong, Squirt?" Jin wondered after listening to Tae's sighs for the last ten minutes.
"I," Tae sighed, "I mean," he sighed again, "how could you be so fucking reckless?" he blurted out, "Going out? Drunk? Alone? Without a bodyguard? What the hell is wrong with you?!" he took a deep breath, "I mean, I get that your life sucks right now, and maybe it has sucked for the last thirteen years? What do I know? Maybe you resent the hell out of me? And that would be ok! I would resent me too, if I were you, but that doesn't change the fact that you..." Tae was getting worked up, "And I get that this shit has blown back the hardest on you and Namjoon. Everyone gets that. Everyone feels incredibly sorry and guilty for that, but! Hell, Jin! How in the! What the hell is wrong with you?" Tae drew a shaky breath, "I mean, storming off after not getting your way?! Almost dying on me?! For what?! This isn't even about you, not really! Yet, somehow, you've managed to make it all about you! I can't help but wonder if it's because you're not the center of attention for the first time in your entire life?!"
"Tae!" Jungkook was shocked, having just entered the room.
"Screw it." Tae hissed and left.
"He's just worried about you, that's all." Jungkook tried to smooth things over.
"But is he wrong?" Jin asked, rhetorically on an inhale, feeling shook to his core.
"I," Jungkook tried, completely lost as to how to handle this situation.
"Go after him." Jin's voice cracked, "Please!" he begged, "I don't want him to be alone!"
"Are you?" Jungkook didn't know what to do right now!
"Please." Jin again asked.
"Ok." Jungkook turned to go, still uncertain as to what to do, so he ended up doing a full twirl coming back around to Jin, "But," he trampled in place a bit, disoriented, "ok." he decided, and left.
Finally.

"What's going on?" Namjoon wondered, holding a coffe cup, looking worridly at Jungkook as he came out of Jin's room.
"I don't know!" Jungkook confessed, "But could you please tell me where Taehyung went? And go talk to Jin? I'm not qualified enough." Not by a long shot.
Namjoon gaped, "And I am?" he shook his head to get a grip, "He went that way." he pointed.
"Thanks." Jungkook said and took off after him.
"What the hell is going on?" Namjoon asked the empty waiting room, and decided to go see for himself.

Bonbon had followed Tae and stood watch over him when Jungkook and Bikram made it out of the hospital.
He was sitting curled up, cradling his knees, swaying back an forth on a cold bench.
Jungkook's heart broke and he squeezed himself down beside him and pulled him onto his lap.
"He doesn't care!" Tae cried, "I almost lost him and I can't lose him and I get he's been struggling and was maybe a little more broken than even I realised and perhaps for years but how could he do this to me?!" he buckled under the realisation that he almost lost his brother!
His dad!
His, his, home!
Jungkook got scared, terrified.
Not even Jin had cried like this when he broke down in the van, whenever the hell that was?
Last century?
Felt like it.
"Shh, shh," Jungkook soothed and rocked them, "I've got you, baby, I've got you."
Taehyung couldn't breathe he was crying so hard.
"I'm so scared!" Tae wailed, "Everyone wants to hurt us, and, I can't lose my brother, Jungkook! Or you! OMG, what if something happens to you? I can't, I can't!" he panicked.
"Taehyung." Bonbon said, firmly, squatting down infront of them, "I won't let anything happen to you or Jungkook. You have my word. Jin and Namjoon are safe too. I don't think anyone's gonna go out by themselves anymore, do you?"
"No, but,"
"I know, son." Bonbon stroked Tae's cheek, "I'm sorry it's gotta be this way for you, truly, I am." he stood up again, having calmed Taehyung down a tiny bit, "Come on kids, let's get you home or inside?"
"I d, I n, I don't." Taehyung stuttered.
"Inside." Jungkook decided, "You might want to talk to dad again?"
"Hrmf." Tae frowned.
"Yeah." Jungkook demanded, "We're going in. Come on." he stood up and dragged Tae with him.
"You know," Jungkook drew Tae under his arm and kissed his temple, "for once I understand exactly how you feel."
"Yeah?" Tae asked, devastated.
"Yeah." Jungkook kissed him again and held him close, "Like I did, when someone shot at you." he whispered the last part. He still got ice cold and petrified at the memory.
"Oh, baby." Tae said, and stopped, putting his palms flat against Jungkook's cheeks, "I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry too." Jungkook shrugged, "But it is what it is, baby. And I love you. Doesn't matter what shit comes at us. I want you, I want to be with you and I choose you. Always."
"I'm so lucky." Taehyung smiled, "And I choose you, too. Always. I love you."
"Ok. Sorry to break this up," Bonbon said and wrangled them into the elevator, "but photographers and hyenas up ahead."
"God dammit!" Jungkook swore.
"Mm." Bonbon agreed.

"Do I suck up all the oxygen?" Jin asked Namjoon as soon as he entered the room.
"Honey, no!" Namjoon answered on auto-pilot.
"I do, don't I?" Jin instisted, not pleased with that dismissive reaction.
"No. You don't." Namjoon answered, more sincere, "You make the oxygen, you're the tree that keeps us alive."
He sat down beside Jin and cupped his face, "Without you I'm lost." he confessed, "And I'm sorry I've let you carry our life on your back this much, I'm starting to question what I actually bring to the table, if I'm being honest." he admitted, a bit embarrased.
"Stability, protection, safety," Jin rattled, "compassion, camaraderie, trust, I can go on forever. I'm lost without you, too."
"Imma kiss you now, honey." Namjoon warned and stood up and bent down, "I love you so much, Jin, I can't, I'm, it's just, you're the center of my world and without you I spinn off into space."
Jin seemed to wince at something painful, but drew Namjoon down, and whispered, "I thought you were going to kiss me."
"Oh, God, honey, I love you so much." Namjoon sobbed and kissed him, "I've never been more scared in my life." he confessed, "And I don't know how to help you!"
"Just hold me." Jin whispered.
"Ok."

Namjoon managed to crawl on to the bed without tipping it over or crushing Jin in the process, which, honestly, was to be viewed as some sort of world record.
"I don't like feeling this small and fragile." Jin whispered, sharing his fears, "I don't know who this, wounded, person is. I don't know him."
"Oh, honey." Namjoon held him tighter.
"What if I'm never gonna be me again?" Jin started crying, "What if I'm always gonna be this useless wreckage of my self and never," he couldn't finish the sentence.
Because he wanted to view himself as the strong, capable man that had cared for everything without a thought to himself for the last twelve years, the role he'd been playing.
And started to believe in.
Jin, the extraordinary.
Not this, trash heap.
Selfish, trash heap.
"You're not a useless wreckage just because you're human, Jin." Namjoon protested, "You shine like the sun even now, all bruised up and with stinky hair. You don't have to be Mother Theresa for us to love you, for us to need you in our lives."
"I feel so stupid, Joon!" Jin cried, "I've lost an eye because I'm so stupid!"
"Oh, honey." Namjoon felt so bad for him, but he didn't know what to say, so he kept to, oh, honey.
Namjoon got his phone out and texted Tae, 'We need a minute. See you all tomorrow?'
'Fine.'
Namjoon sighed. He would have to come up with a way to mend things between the brothers, that was for sure.
And he didn't know how to, neither of them was really in the wrong, it was just, difficult.
And old habits.
And ways to relate to one another that'd worked perfectly in the past but, didn't.
Anymore.
They were all going through the same thing, he realised, all of them having to re-forge their bonds in a new way.
And that might hurt.
And there wasn't any guarantees it would work either.
Shit! Life as they'd all know it for the last thirteen years was about to end and something completely different was about to take it's place.
Namjoon suddenly got scared down to his knees, Christ, they were walking into something brand new and, shit, everything he knew about anything didn't mean diddly-squat right now.
He'd just have to play by heart and, well, he kinda liked sheet music.
And predictability.
"I am such a dull nerd with no imagination." he said, out loud, which he didn't mean to do.
"Yes." Jin agreed with a giggle, "But I love you anyway."
"Thank God." Namjoon smiled, and kissed him again.