The Kim Family Tetralogy

33

"I," Minho sighed.
"Yeah." Taehyung agreed.
"Should we try and keep this from Jungkook?" Namjoon wondered.
Carmina Burana started roaring out of Tae's phone, and he just lifted an eyebrow at Namjoon, and answered, "Baby, don't worry about it. We'll handle it." he got up from the table to go talk to Jungkook alone.
It was imperative he be able to focus on his sport right now, everyone understood that, and this, shit.
Minho sighed again, "Considering how fucking much we pay our moles," he huffed, "You'd think at least one of 'em would've picked up on this a bit sooner." he shook his head, and flinched when his 911-number started up, too, "Hey, Baby." he answered, softly, and got up as well.

Namjoon, Jin and Yoongi looked at eachother, lost for words.
"B-heh." Yoongi snorted. The thing was so absurd he had to laugh.
"Maybe they've been turned?" Namjoon speculated.
"Who?" Jin wanted to know.
"Our moles." Namjoon shrugged, "I mean, if we could buy them, maybe someone else paid better?"
"Oh." Jin pouted.
"Fuck." Yoongi said, "Gimme a sec." he picked up a burner phone from his bag an called someone, "Yeah, it's me. Imma need you to go dark and snoop around. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, ok, but I'm trashing this by the end of the day. Ok."
"Yoongi..." Namjoon warned.
"Oh, it's on." Yoongi said, crossing his arms infront of him.
"Explain." Jin ordered.
"Don't." Yoongi said and held up a hand to stop Namjoon, "I'll take the potential fallout. No one else should be involved."
"Christ." Namjoon exhaled.
"Oh." Jin said, looking like an 😳 emoji.
Yoongi's burner phone buzzed, "Yeah? You have got to be fucking kiddig me?" he started to laugh, leaning his head on his propped up hand, "No way?" he was still chuckling, "Yeah, I mean?" he raised his shoulders, "You'd think they'd have some clue?" he kept chuckling on, "Yeah, but still, wipe it, just in case. And the other thing? Yeah, toodles." he hung up, still laughing.
"Spill." Jin ordered him.
"Let's wait for Mini-me and Maxi-mo." Yoongi suggested, "But you were kinda right." he admitted, looking at Namjoon, "Partially, at least. Can I use your printer? The old one? With no wifi?" he was halfway standing up.
"Sure." Namjoon waved him off, "It's in the back of the shoe closet!" he remembered to tell him, he'd just moved it there. It was humongous and in the way. But he knew Yoongi needed to use it occasionally, so.
He hadn't thrown it out.
And it printed better high-resolution pictures than any modern consumer ones he'd encountered did.
And he, occasionally, needed to print some of those.
For work.
When he wasn't at work.

"You have a fucking seperate shoe closet??" Yoongi peaked his head back in.
"U-huh." Namjoon nodded, like it was no big deal.
"And, I'm just supposed to sniff it out with my feet, or?" Yoongi held out his right foot pretending it was a nose on a blood hound.
"Fine. I'll show you." Namjoon got up.
"I'm in a hacker movie." Jin said, distraught, "Like, should we have our own generator so we could go off-grid, or something?"
"We use solar panels now, Jin." Yoongi grinned, "On your roof?" he pointed.
"I sincerely hope you're joking?" Jin gasped.
"He is." Namjoon calmed him, "You are, right?" he hissed as they'd left the dining room. 'Cause they really did have solar panels on the roof.
"Maybe." Yoongi said, vaguely and shrugged his shoulders, but couldn't keep a straight face, "Of course I am!" he laughed, "Or am I?" he squinted his eyes, looking menacing.
"Ass." Namjoon shoved him, "Here it is." he opened the door to the freaking Yoongi's-whole-house-sized space of a closet. Filled with shoes. Connected, through a passage full of accessories, to the even larger closet-closet.
"You have too much money." Yoongi sighed.
"Some of us, in any case." Namjoon shrugged. He wasn't exactly responsible for this monstrosity and had had pretty much the same reaction himself when they'd gotten settled in their new home.
"You know, you tend to forget?" Yoongi sighed, "'Cause they're so nice? But..."
"Yeah, I know." Namjoon nodded, "Takes some getting used to."

"You know," Minho sighed, looking down on the print-out of the 'opposition's' detailed plans Yoongi had 'aquired', "I am a lawyer, and," he clawed at his face, "yeah. Laws are, agreements, we as a society put in place to try to, govern, peoples, behavior." he sighed, deeper, "Essentially. And what reasonable punishment for stepping out of that behavioral, corral, should be." he silenced, "And I'm pretty sure we've always tried to anoint, in lack of a better word, some of those agreements by having some higher power, higher 'truth', deliver them onto us by some holy man taking it upon himself to be the interpreter of those 'truths' or powers. And, I'm telling you, the more counterintuitive, the more unpopular, the more," he tried to find the word, "flat out wrong those imposed agreements would seem to everyday people, the holier those 'commandments' from above would have to be. And the worse the punishments too." he snickered, resigned, "Having a presumed punishment take place after you die, is... Yeah, it's brilliant, 'cause no one's ever come back from the dead to bear witness to if it really happens or not." he leaned back in his seat.
No one said anything.
"You know," Taehyung broke the silence, "I would like to correct you, Crazy Hot Lawyer and extraordinary mentor," he winked at Minho, "because it has occured to me, these last few years of law studies, that, the laws primarily focuses on governing the behavior of men." he said a bit catious, "Women, seem to have to govern themselves in all areas of life exept for the reproductive ones. Where society, but it's men, let's be honest, want to govern them exeedingly much."
Minho's mouth fell open, but Tae continued, unpertubed, "And I don't know if it's because men all got together at one point and decided to allot women to have no relevance other than vessels for procreation, and therefore needn't be governed or, if it's simply that women govern themselves. All by themselves. Automatically. Because they want to. And can. And always have." he shrugged, "Many men seem to have no sense of boundaries and will go as far off the moral rails as they can if no one or nothing is there to stop them?" he leaned back, "I'm actually starting to believe religion was invented by men as a tool of selfgoverning, for men." he sat up straighter, "And a way to force monogamy on women, 'cause heaven knows, children are always of the mother, but we haven't been able to know for sure who the father was until freaking thirty years ago, or so? Pretty darn important reproductive instinct for men, right there, to keep their women contained." he snorted.
"I, want, to, lick, your, brain." Namjoon said, in awe.
"Me too." Minho nodded.
"But, I get what you're saying." Taehyung continued, looking at Minho, "We're gonna run into some trouble if we're arguing the law shouldn't govern our behavior and have no say in peoples bedrooms."
"It should have no say in peoples beedrooms!" Jin protested.
"But it has." Taehyung shrugged, "For straight people, too. And, yeah like, spousal rape should be a criminal offense. For example."
"I think we should come at this from a different angle?" Yoongi said.
"How do you mean?" Minho asked.
"Remember those Swedish business people we were out with, couple of weeks ago?" Yoongi asked Tae.
"How could I forget?" Tae snorted, "Jin had to detox my man!" he complained.
"We're not taking their advice anytime soon, are we?" Jin looked at Yoongi, terrified.
"Shut up." Yoongi shook it off, "After we'd made an collective effort to drown Taekook," he blushed, "they told me about a freaking brilliant thing the Swedish Peace and Arbitration Society did some years back, when it became apparent to everyone in Sweden the Military wanted more funds, 'cause they started chasing Russian submarines in the achipelago again. Apparently it's a thing." Yoongi waved his hand around, "I mean, yeah, there probably are Russian submarines in the Swedish archipelago, but apparently the Military only seem to find them when they want more money." Yoongi smiled.
"And, what did they do?" Taehyung promted him, getting impatient, "The peace whatever?"
"This." Yoongi took his regular phone out and showed them a clip* of a neon sign being lowered down into the waters at place of the sightings with a naughty sailor, thrusting his groin in time with disco music and a morse code beacon signaling 'This way if you're gay.' and the text 'Welcome to Sweden. Gay since 1944.' in pink letters on it.

"I can't." Taehyung gasped, laughing harder than he'd ever done in his life.
"It's, freaking brilliant!" Minho laughed.
"Yeah, told you." Yoongi smiled.
"Maybe we should move to Sweden?" Jin laughed, looking at Namjoon.
"We might have to, after seeing this!" Namjoon wiped tears from his eyes.
"I mean," Yoongi said, "I especially appreciate it because the current dick-tator of Russia had just prior to that signed some pretty draconian anti-gay laws into existance, they told me."
"Ten birds, one stone." Minho nodded, "And funny!"
"Satirical on an evil master mind level." Namjoon agreed, "But still simple."
"The, 'If more weapons led to peace, there'd be peace.' slogan at the end was pretty profound, too." Taehyung nodded.
"Ok." Minho said, and put his head in his hands, looking down on the table, "Give me a minute."
"Genius at work." Taehyung whispered, "Let's give him some space?" he cartoon-snuck out of there, promting the others to follow.

"How's the," Yoongi's waved his arm around, "sports commando holding up?" looking at Tae, before taking a sip of the smoothie Jin'd just put infront of him.
"I mean," Taehyung sighed, "obviously the Press are bugging him relentlessly, which he's prepared for, and Hobi's like, 'Mama Bear protecting her cub'-ing him now, and I should've already left to be with him, but," he shrugged, "he seems, on track." he nodded, "Grunting."
"Ah." Yoongi nodded. He'd lived with Hobi. He got the process. Receeding into themselves as the show-down approached.
Minho came stalking into the kitchen.
Jin held out a smoothie for him that he grabbed in passing, "We need to unleash Gen-Z upon them." Minho told them, "Which is easier said than done because they can't really be told what to do or not." he shook his head.
"No." Taehyung agreed, "But you can tell them what's going on, no strings attached and I bet they'll come up with something brilliant." he looked at his brother, "We need to gather your kids, Jin. I need to talk to them."
"Yeah, it needs to be you." Yoongi agreed.
"But Jin needs to go with you." Minho urged, "They need to feel protected and not being used and called upon to act at the same time." he looked at Yoongi and Namjoon, "We need to go international. We need that silent support and exasperation from Gen X and downward that that gay sailor thing leans on. From all around the world." he took a deep breath, "We need to expose the shit out of the dissonance between the sins of the bigots that society still somewhat accept and the 'sins', who are people, the bigots can't accept. In a funny way. But all the way to the bone." he sighed, "And we need to do it by next week."

*************

*Here is a link, you have to copy/paste, to the actual campain that Yoongi showed them:
https://vimeo.com/126906725
With the original.
The youtube one above is crap in comparison.
But Wattpad doesn't support Vimeo...

//Yjikeswho