The Kim Family Tetralogy

1

"You're seriously gonna make me wear this?" Hobi held up a Cinderella outfit, staring down his best friend, "You know we're already married, right??"
"You are," Yoongi nodded, "but we didn't have time for your bachelor party, so."
"A CARROT?!!" Jungkook shrieked, "Nuh-uh." he shook his head at the costume.
"Apparently I'm a cat." Taehyung sighed, stepping out from the dressing booth in a furry, tiger-striped, onesie. With a tail.
"There's whiskers." Yoongi held them out.
"Great." Tae moaned, and put them on.
"I," Minho sighed, "seriously?" he popped his head out, looking at Yoongi.
"Yup." Yoongi grinned.
"I won't fit in this." Jungkook had stepped into the orange plastic that wouldn't close in the back and chafed his legs.
"Dammit." Yoongi sighed, "Give it here."
Jungkook hurriedly took it off and handed it to Yoongi, who stalked away and came back with a bunny furry for him instead.
"Yey." Jungkook groaned and went into his booth to change.

"OMG, you're so cute!" Taehyung laughed when Hobi got out, dressed like Cinderella. Even had the blue headband and all.
"Hardi har." Hobi moped.
"Super cute!" Tae had to hug him.
"What's taking so long?" Yoongi promted Minho.
"I'm not wearing this out in public." Minho grumbled, still inside his changing booth.
"I have to see this." Taehyung said, and pulled the curtain aside, revealing Minho in a black pair of tight leather pants, with a flowy white shirt open at the neck.
"OMG!" Hobi squeeled and sat down on his butt, aiming for the chair but landing on the floor.
"Blimey." Yoongi acknowledged.
"This is so unfair!" Jungkook whined, "He gets to look like a snacc and we all look like children!" he pouted.
"Respect your elders." Yoongi smacked him over the head.
"Still unfair." Jungkook mumbled.
"Honestly," Minho groaned, "I'd rather go out wearing a big, purple, dinosaur onesie, than this!" he was feeling more than a little bashful.
"No." Hobi said, still on the floor, drooling over his man, "I'm buying this for you." he got up to go inquire as to how much it would cost him.
"At least someone's getting laid tonight." Yoongi laughed.
"Asshole." Minho muttered, righting his pants.
"Bah, you love me." Yoongi grinned.
"Hobi loves you." Minho sulked, "I, tolerate, you." he stuck his tongue out.
"You love me!" Yoongi laughed.
"Hmfr."

Hobi returned with a big grin on his face, waving a receipt in his hand.
"Lovely." Minho sighed, defeated.
"Well then." Yoongi rubbed his hands together, "Shall we make the town unsafe?" he grinned.
"Not so fast..." Hobi said, pulling him back by his leather jacket, "Obviously, you're gonna need some sort of, I don't know," he patted his lower lip with his finger, "distinguishing marks, if you want to belong to this party tonight." he explained down his nose.
"Oh." Yoongi pouted, he'd thought he'd be home safe.
"Mm." Hobi grinned, "And since we already have a meower in our group," he yanked Tae's tail, "I've decided to make you," he looked a Yoongi with evil glee, "a schoolgirl." he nodded. Once.
And pulled a costume out from behind his back, "A pwetty wittle schoolgiwl." he chuckled, menacing, "Here's the wig."
"I hate you." Yoongi pouted.
"Mm." Hobi tried to keep his composure, "Poor sport, you. Always have been."
"Have not!" Yoongi protested.
"Have too." Hobi argued.
"Have. Not." Yoongi crossed his arms infront of him.
"Prove it!" Hobi prompted him and shuffled him into the changing booth.
"God. Dammit." Yoongi swore, outwitted, and started to disrobe.

"BWAHAHA!" Bonbon died a little, "Sorry." he chuckled and reigned it in.
"I don't know who's looking more ludicrous," Bikram complained, "us, or them?" he righted his roman centurion belt.
"Definitely them." Gared was still chuckling at Minho and Yoongi in particular. He was very cute as a schoolgirl, no doubt about it and Minho looked so uncomfortable it was hilarious.
"No!" Bonbon cried, "It's us! Hands down, us!"
"Hail Ceasar." Bikram moped.
"Yeah." Bonbon wiped his tears, "When in Rome!"
"Oh, shut up." Bikram was not pleased with this. Not pleased. At all. "Sandals." he spat.
Cinderella and Tigger were down on the floor, rolling around, screaming with laughter.
Bunny had hid himself behind a chair, crouching down, trying to regain some semblance of civility in the face of the, roman, security detail this evening.
Prince Charming and Little Miss Sunshine had both had to seek support from two of the armchairs, leaning on them with their heads on their hands, crying with silent laughter.
Hobi managed to high-five Taehyung who stomped his foot, unable to breathe.
"So worth it!" Tae pressed out, "OMG I'm DEAD!"
"Well, good men," Bonbon snickered, he was secretly very amused by all this, "if everyone is appropriately attired, I suggest we get going?"
"Shall we?" Minho giggled and bent to take Hobi's hand to help him up.
"OMG." Hobi yelped and grabbed his own junk like a little boy, looking up at him, starry-eyed.
"'S gonna be a long evening." Yoongi sighed.
"Yeah?" Minho mumbled in Hobi's ear, holding him close.
"Oh, yeah." Hobi sighed and melted into Minho when he kissed him, pressing his hard-on against him.
"Uhmn, hmn, yhos." Minho sounded, little bit lost in Hobi, "I don't know how you do it, husband," he whispered, making Hobi shiver, "but you've managed to make me forget everything around me since the moment we met. I love you."
"Hurglm." Hobi wound himself around Minho.
"Good grief!" Yoongi complained, "You're worse than the sex monkeys!" he slapped Hobi's arm. Repeatedly.
"Party pooper." Hobi sighed and broke loose from his man.
"Aish." Yoongi grimaged, "Let's go."
"Wait!" Minho said on a sigh, "If I'm actually," he shook his head and got out a flask from somewhere, "To getting married!" he toasted and took a big gulp before passing the flask around.
"To getting married!" everyone took turns drinking up.
"Alrighty then!" Yoongi wrung his hands, expectantly, "To the limousine!"
"Jesus Christ." Jungkook muttered, "Shouldn't Jimin be here, by the way?" he suddenly remembered.
"His flight got delayed." Yoongi explained, "He'll join us at the bar as soon as he gets here, he promised." he sighed, "I can't believe they're still touring."
"Ha!" Hobi chuckled, "Let's take this with us and get him into it as soon as he shows up." he held a bright, green, cabbage suit out.
"Oh, yeah!" Tae laughed, "'S gonna look good on him!"

"Ok." Yoongi said, all business, when they were seated in the car, "Since this is a bachelor party," he got a bottle of champagne out, "I have decided," he started to uncork it, "you lot," he nodded towards the two couples, "are not allowed to couple tonight! Change seats." he ordered, as the cork flew off.
"Bloody hell." Hobi moped, but got up and pushed Jungkook towards Minho.
"Party pooper." Jungkook muttered and stuck his tongue out at Yoongi as he passed him.
"Party parrot." Yoongi said, motioning to himself, nodding, as he poured them drinks.
"Hmfr." Jungkook thumped down beside Minho.
"So bossy." Taehyung nodded.
"Blah, blah, blah." Yoongi diverted the criticism, "Let's hurry up and get shitfaced, I've planned my little ass off for this party, and thou shalt enjoy!"
"Yes, father." Taehyung and Jungkook sighed in unison.
"Oh, shut up and drink." Yoongi topped up their glasses.
"Shut up and suck." Hobi corrected him.
"Huh?"
"Never mind." Hobi laughed as the others snickered at Yoongi's unexpected innocence.
"Whatever." Yoongi shrugged, "Cheers!"

First stop turned out to be an, for the evening, abandoned playland.
"So," Yoongi declared, "in order for you to eat this evening, there are tokens for clues to the riddles hidden around this place." he cackled, "You exchange the tokens for clues by doing a little drinking game with me..." he grinned, "Let's,"
"Hey!" Tae had an idea, he was a bit tipsy already, "You should play too! It's only fair!"
Yoongi was shocked silent, "I know where all the tokens are, Tae!" he laughed, when he'd regained his wits, "I hid them!"
"Oh." Tae pouted.
"Mm." Yoongi chuckled, "Now, let's start! And a-one, and a-two, and a-go!" he waved his finger stick to the beat and shooed them off.

Having two olympic gold medalists go 'need to win' on them, soon meant Taehyung and Minho found themselves in the grip of their own competitiveness.
Yoongi was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe when Taehyung decided his best course of action was to cheat and take all of the clues and not just his own.
Jungkook tried to catch him, but, Tae managed to climb in between the scaffolding, giggling like crazy, when Jungkook couldn't follow him, being a rather, plump, bunny this evening.
"You gonna stay up there all night?" Jungkook threatened, darkly.
"Mhm." Taehyung giggled, nervously, nodding his head.
"Imma get you!" Jungkook jumped after him, making Taehyung squeal and climb higher up.
Cinderella suddenly flew by, hiking up her skirt, with Prince Charming on her tail, "That was mine!" Minho shouted, diving after Hobi.
"It's mine now!" Hobi teased, and waved the paper in Minho's face.
"You little!" Minho made an surprise attack but Hobi took off again, shrieking.
Taehyung had begun his sneaky decent when Kook's attention was momentarily turned to the other couple, but he got caught and Jungkook successfully tickled him out of a few tokens before he slithered out of reach and went to exchange them for clues.
"God dammit!" Jungkook swore and took a stand to cut off his retreat.
"Mhm." Tae pranced by him, proud as can be, and winked at him, "Gotta keep up, baby." he teased, wagging his tail.
Well butt, but who was counting?
Jungkook was dumbstruck, standing there, helplessly, looking at him, hands to his sides "You're adorable." the words escaped his mouth before he knew what happened and he took two steps towards him and gathered him in his arms.
Taehyung was unprepared for this, fondness, at this time, in this moment, and dissolved against him in a long, but rather, stubby, kiss.
On account of the prominent facial hair the cat had aquired.
"PPUUAAAEEEEPP!"
"GAAAEEH! JESUS CHRIST!" Jungkook jumped five feet in the air and Taehyung fell on his ass when Yoongi sounded a bullhorn, very close to their heads, "I should've made you the carrot." Yoongi sighed, looking at Tae, "No canoodling." he ordered.
"I think there's a little pee there." Tae panted and motioned quickly with his hand infront of his groin.
"WHAT THE HELL?" Minho stuck his head out from above.
"No canoodling." Yoongi shrugged and sounded the bullhorn again, "PPUUAAAEEEEPP!"
"Ok, ok, ok, ok!" Hobi came out with his hands up from behind Minho's back, "I would've fallen off the stairs if my prince hadn't caught me the first time." he muttered, sourly, "But ok. No canoodling. I hear you, I hear you."

Three sheets to the wind later, having solved no riddles, well, Minho managed to divine one by mistake, reading Yoongi's face, but, all around pathetic, really, Yoongi decided he was too hungry to let this go on any further and ordered them all to board the limo again whilst he retreived the last of the clues and stuff.
"Aigoo!" Taehyung whined when Jungkook suddenly plucked one of his whiskers off, behind a dark pillar.
"Sorry." Kook pouted, "But I need to kiss you, before Mussolini sees us, and." he shrugged and pulled Tae in for a smooch.
"Oh, do you know?" Tae tugged one of Jungkook's bunny ears.
"Mhm." Kook grumbled against Tae's neck, "'Cause you're adorable." he nuzzled his way over to Tae's mouth, "And I love you." he kissed him, "And I can't wait to be married to you!" he sighed, happily, walking Tae backwards.
"Mmm." Taehyung purred, snuggling into Jungkook, "I can't wait, either. I love you, my cute little bunny."
"I wish we were doing it now." Kook sighed, "And not in three days."
"Me too, baby." Tae whispered, "Me too." he held him tight, "We've waited so long, baby."