The Kim Family Tetralogy

16

"Papers, papers." Mr Lee greeted as Hobi opened the door and invited him in with a gesture.
"So, Jung Hoseok,"
"Please just call me Hobi," he begged, "I don't know who I am when you call me my full name and I feel like I've been naughty and am about to get a whoopin'."
Hobi thought he saw a glint of something, in the back of Mr Lee's eyes, but decided it was wishful thinking on his part.
"Alright, Hobi, call me Minho." Mr Lee insisted, with a professional smile.
"So, Minho-hyung, what can I do for you today?"
Minho sighed, "I can't have a," he stage whispered "fucking" and used his normal voice again, "Olympic Gold Medalist call me hyung if I'm calling him Hobi." he shook his head, "I can't! I'm too american for that. Just Minho, please!"
"Ok, j..."
"Don't, say, Just-Minho." he shook his head in an exasperated gesture.
"Wasn't gonna."
"Yes, you were."
"Yes, I was." Hobi grinned, earning a big smile from Minho.
Hobi suddenly felt his innate need to move. Very strongly. But willed himself to stay still.
"So," he deflected, "What can I do for you today? Sir." Hobi teased.
"Aish!" Minho waved his hand in an air slap, "I actually need to talk to Jin?" he said in a more serious manner.
"JIN!" Hobi hollered on the top of his lungs, not breaking eye contact, but feeling just a little bit disappointed.
Minho couldn't help but giggle and shake his head.
Hobi had to think of chlamydia, and maggots, and his sister doing it, to not reach out and pull his GOD DAMNED LAWYER in for a smooch and a hug.
He not only wanted to smooch and hug him, he realised, he wanted to be smooched and hugged.
By him.
What the hell was going on?
"Have fun!" Hobi encouraged them and winked, he fucking winked, at Mr Lee, as Jin was entering and he was leaving.

'Did I just flirt with Mr Lee?' Hobi asked himself, stunned.
Shell shocked.
Whipped.
WTF had gotten in to him?
He just kinda sorta broke up with Jimin!
He promised himself not to flirt with everything that moved! Anymore.
He was so out of Minho - he tried the new way of adressing him out feeling weird about it but whatever's, league!
Did he even bend that way?
Hobi couldn't tell.
What was wrong with his gaydar? He almost freaked out! It had never failed him before!
"TAEHYUNG!" he was really scared so he shouted. It was a shouty day. Apparently.
"WHAT?" Tae shouted back.
"WHERE ARE YOU?"
"OVER HERE!"
"SHUT! UP!" Jin chimed in from the kitchen.
"OK!" Hobi and Tae shouted at the same time.

"I think I might be into Mr Lee." Hobi said, questioning his sanity, laying on the floor in Tae's makeshift studio where he finally found him.
"Go for it." Tae said, dryly.
Hobi sat up in a haste, "What the hell?" he squinted his eyes suspiciously, "What do you know?"
"I know that he's openly gay? And single?" Tae stated.
"How the hell do you know that!?"
"Because I asked him?"
"You. Asked. Our. Lawyer. If. He. Is. Gay?"
"Uhu."
"You're fucking mental!" Hobi established and layed down again.
"Nooo, I'm efficient. And curious." Tae defended himself.
"Whatever." Hobi pouted.

"Does it make me a slut?" he wondered a good while later, having fantasised about him the whole time, "Showing an interest in another guy so soon after, you know, separating or whatever from Jimin?"
Tae sighed and came over and sat down beside him on the floor. "You know I only think people are sluts if they cheat or are dishonest about their intentions." Tae made a drumroll on Hobi's stomach, "And you've done neither of those things. Ba Dum Tss!" he layed down beside him.
"I'm still so angry with Jimin I can't fucking see straight." Tae confessed, "And I'm just his friend! I can't imagine how disappointed I would be if..."
"Yeah." Hobi sighed. "It sucks. It hurts. But mostly it sucks."
They stayed silent for a while.
"I don't know," Hobi started, "maybe it wasn't a good idea to begin with? Jimin and I?"
"You couldn't have known that," Tae comforted him, "you were in love with him!" he turned on his side to face him, "and he was in love with you! But. Huh." Tae grew thoughtful.
"What? What did you figure out?" Hobi turned to face Tae as well.
"I'm not sure..."
"Tell me anyway!"
"Ok, but don't get mad or anything?"
"How can I possibly promise that if I don't know what you're going to say?"
"No, you're right. Don't hit me?"
"I won't, that I can promise."
"It just dawned on me that, in some ways, Jimin at least, seemed to have fallen in love with kind of this fantasy version of you? Not the real, I mean you, but like parts of you from the past and not you-you. The freaking brilliant and amazing, totally gorge and grown up Hobbs you are today, you know?"
"Huh." Hobi searched himself, "You might be on to something."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I think I knew pretty quickly on in our relationship that something was off but maybe I didn't want to face it? Because I wanted it to work so badly? 'Cause looking back now it seems pretty clear to me that Jimin wasn't mature enough to give me what I wanted, and that perhaps it wasn't fair of me to even ask that of him? But I did it anyway, in hopes that he would magically be the one I wanted him to be? Refusing to see who he really was?"
"Do you think you'll ever get back together?" Tae wondered.
Hobi sighed and turned on his back again.
"I don't know," Hobi confessed, staring at the ceiling, "I still love him, but..."
"Maybe it's a good thing he's away in England, doing his own thing?" Tae said.
"Actually, I think it's a great thing, he needs to stand on his own two feet, but," Hobi sighed again, "Who am I trying to kid? No. I don't think we're going to get back together, I just didn't want to break up with him for real, for some reason? And shouting at him over the phone doesn't really count as breaking up either. At least not in my book."
"Well, you were freaking exhausted, don't be so hard on yourself."
Hobi huffed out a laugh, "True." and went back to staring at the ceiling.
"Fucking hell!" Hobi suddenly shouted, scaring the shit out of Taehyung, "I'm fucking single again." he moped.
Tae laughed silently.
"And I'm so horny I'm about to jump out of my skin!" Hobi whined and turned to cuddle Taehyung grasping his shirt with his hands, "Do me!" he pleaded, staring up at Tae, doe eyed.
"Are you trying to seduce my man?" Jungkook asked, standing in the doorway, drawn by the shouting.
"Yes!" Hobi admitted, "Threesome?" he begged.
"Nooo." Jungkook laughed and shooed him off with his hands, "I'll get you some porn." he said and turned on his heel.
"Porn-schmorn," Hobi said disappointed, "I'm a freaking olympic gold medalist! I deserve a real good fuck!"
"Well then," Tae said, "I suggest you seduce Mr Lee as quickly as possible. If I wasn't a total Jungkook-hoe, I'd go for him myself! The man is a complete three course meal..."
"He, is, isn't he?" he still hadn't let go of his tight embrace of Taehyung.
"Um, Hobi," Tae sighed, "Let go of me, please? I can feel your boner..."
"Oh, woe, is me!" Hobi declared with a hand on his forehead as he let go of Tae and turned on his back again, "declare thine love and refute thine dickus, oh Brutus, old chap! For here lies an wretched fool at the mercy of the court."
Jungkook showed up with a flash drive, "We need to get Hobbs a man, stat!" Taehyung said, "He's making up Shakespearean quotes..."
"Maybe one of the bodyguards could jerk him off?" Jungkook suggested, trying to help.
"OH, WOE IS, WOE IS ME!" Hobi recited, "I have the most beautiful friends, who won't do me, bastards, wilt thou so leave me so unsatisfied? Not even the littlest suck? Please?"
"Have you and Yoongi ever had sex?" Tae suddenly asked.
"WTH?" Hobi sat up.
Jungkook was snorting with laughter from the unexpected question.
"Well, have you?" Tae insisted.
"NO!" Hobi shook his head, very adamantly, "But thank you! Every sexy thought I might have had just disappeared into thin air!" Hobi complained.
"Mission accomplished." Taehyung nodded, pleased with himself.
"You still want this, or?" Jungkook played with the memory stick.
"'Course I do." Hobi said, stood up and snatched it from Kook's hand.
"Still think you should go for it!" Tae shouted at Hobi's back as he was leaving.
"Maybe I will!" Hobi answered.
"Do it!" Tae laughed.
"Do what?" Jungkook was curious.
"Get on the horse again." Tae shrugged.
"What horse?"
"The horse." Tae smiled.
Jungkook reached out his hand an drew Taehyung up from the floor, "Come on," he held Tae close and licked his neck, "I want to go riding, now..." he picked him up, and put him down again, "May have to hold off on the carrying for a bit still," he remembered as his muscles protested, loudly, and pulled Tae after him by his hand, "still want a ride though." he said. Very eager.
"And you're gonna have me do all the work, aren't you," Tae sighed, "have you any idea how heavy you are? On top of people?"
"You love me." Jungkook established.
"Clearly." Tae huffed. As he realised he would actually let Jungkook ride him without moving a muscle, putting all the, well, the whole work load on him, "Dammit."
"Kekeke."
"You owe me."
"I'll make it up to you."
"You better!" Tae thretened.
"I promise." Jungkook pulled him close, ushering him infront of himself, letting his hands find their way into Taehyung's pants, "For the rest of my life." he whispered.
And Tae believed him.