Tommyinnit Oneshots (With SBI) (Book 2)

Why is Life so Hard? (Tommy angst)(1/2)

Be aware that this contains suicide. 

Tommy POV

Three days. That was the limit Tommy set for himself. After that he was done. No more time and no more of this thing people call living. It was just too hard. 

The first day went by as he expected. Everyone pretended everything was fine. Not talking? Tommy's just tired. Not laughing at jokes. Tommy's just tired. Barely paying attention? Tommy's just tired. Sometimes Tommy got tired of people answering for him.

His friends were so used to him being "tired" that they hardly ever asked if he was okay anymore. But that was fine. Just the question would have probably broken him.

The only thing that made the day just a little bit better was his friends online. They were the only thing he would miss. The people who made him feel like he had a reason to stay. His friends. And even though he had only known they for a short while, he considered them family.

But going online everyday always left him to be vulnerable. There was one thing his friends couldn't save him from. The comments.

Does this kid ever know when to shut up?

I can't believe I ever thought Tommy was funny.

I bet even his friends hate him!

Some days he could pretend those words were nothing to him. They didn't know him personally, they only saw the online version of him. He wasn't as annoying as they insisted. After all, he was just a kid.

By day two, that charade had fallen. He sat at his computer, scrolling through every hate comment he could find.

Stupid.

Skinny.

Annoying.

Fat.

Worthless.

Dumb.

Each word made the time go by faster. And by the time he made it to the third day, he had finally made up his mind. He wasn't even going to wait for the day to end. Why would he? Tommy knew he was nothing. He knew that the people he loved were just keeping him around for pity.

And he was ready. He had the pills all ready, now all he had to do was wait. Glancing at the time, he knew his parents would be leaving in about fifteen minutes. He leaned back in his chair, his heart hammering in his chest. But he didn't have any feeling that correlated with it. He just felt nothing.

A sudden notification popped up on his screen. Moving his mouse, he was about to his click out of it, when he stopped. 

Hey Toms, you ready for the stream?- Wilby

Swallowing back the lump in his throat, he sat up straighter. Wilbur deserved an explanation... Maybe even an apology. Another message appeared, this time from Techno.

You hopping on, nerd? - Technobro

Techno did too...

Mate, we're waiting for you!- Phil

Tommy quickly wiped his tears away. No, he was not about to change his mind. He had been planning this all week. He was not about to just throw it all away! Just write the notes, he told himself. Then he could end it all.

The blonde pulled up a fresh document, taking a deep breath. Short and sweet, nothing more and nothing less. Taking a deep breath, he began to type. His fingers began to tremble more and more with every word. His heart slowly began to race as he read each word. He was ready for this, he knew he was. So, why was he so scared?

Shaking his head, Tommy copied the message before sending it to his friends. He stumbled to his feet, pushing away from his computer. It was done, nothing could change that.

His feet led him to the bathroom, he could barely see through his tears. Fumbling for the pill bottle, he quickly poured the contents into his trembling hands. He swallowed them dry, not even bothering to find water.

Crying, he slid down the wall, collapsing onto the floor. He should be smiling, it was done! He would never have to deal with the hardships of life. The loneliness, the tears, the endless pain. The sound of a new notification made his ears perk up slightly.

That's when the regret set in. He would never meet them in person. Never sing with Wilbur. Never made Techno laugh. Never hug Phil. All of his dreams were being taken away from him. And it was all his fault.

His vision slowly began to blur as he began to cough. Foam trickled from his mouth as he slid further and further. His eyelids had never felt so heavy before. Screams came from downstairs along with a fury of footsteps. Tommy wanted to see who it was. But sleep was calling him. 

And who was he to say no?

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