her truth

1st death

Going home, Sandra went in to go to the kitchen counter to eye over her father who was sitting down to the bench while Sandra looked over her girls who were playing about.
"So..... Any more news from aishwa about Shirley?"
Her father shook his head.
"Not really. Apparently she went out for a smoke early in the morning, hit her head against the car door and was several hours until the woman she lived with knew she was there, she called the police and they took her to the hospital. Awisha is with her now."
Sandra made a face to eye down.
I really hope she's not suffering.
"Mm, was told she is on surgery right now."
Sandra looked up.
"So she's going to be okay?"
"Don't really know. She lost a lot of blood and was there all night long. That does something to the brain."
Sandra made a hard face to then go to the children to let them distracted to not tell them something was wrong with there grandmother, both of them loved her very much.
Has night came, Sandra let her daughters sleep in her bed has Sandra kept thinking about her mother, she was told by her dad, she got out of surgery very well and now she was in a coma, she was twitching here and there and they were just waiting for her to wake up, awisha was at the hospital with her.
Sandra couldn't go given she had the girls and she didn't want them to see her that way.
After that night, Sandra was Called with her sister's to go to the hospital, has the doctor's needed to discuss what was going on with there mother, Sandras dad was there to watch the girls so she could go, for her to feel uncomfortable being there, it was the same space Sandras ex husbands ex wives mother had her family wait for her has she was dying..
Sandras stomach hurt her the whole time, she was excuse herself often to go to the bathroom to have mini panic attacks and her stomach hurt her a lot, Sandra couldn't really handle the situation well but she made sure to keep her pain to herself and wouldn't let her sister's catch on.
After she came out, the nurse then came out to get her sister's for them to go to a room where the doctor told them what happened to then eye each sadly..
"I am very sorry, however you're mother is not going to wake up. She suffered too much lose and blood. Now she could be transferred to a facility, however we don't think she will ever wake up, she is not completely brain dead, but she will be paralyzed to the left side of herself and would be bedridden for the rest of her life."
Sandra kept breathing heavily to be having panic attacks, she thought her mother was going to be okay, she had been hearing from awisha she was twitching and moving, for Sandra to be told by the doctor those were just muscle movements.
Awisha cleared her throat.
"Well.....has she placed me to her will to make these decisions, I know her, she wouldn't want to be like that. I think what would be best would be, to take her off the ventilator."
Sandra hung her head a bit to become a bit mad at her sister.
But she would still be alive!!
Awisha looked at each to say what she could for no one to really ask Sandra her thoughts for them to go with that decision, Sandra then went in by herself to overlook her mother to see her with a large scar to her head, to see her breathing and twitching to go over to her to hold her hand to eye over her tattoo. Her mother had gotten a tattoo of Sandra with two birds to her arm, she then looked to her for tears to come down .
"This...... Isn't really fair. Your not suppose to...... What about emily and Sarah......Shirley, you weren't a great mom to me, I think you knew that, but has a grand mother, you have kicked ass. I hate that this is.......I don't even know what to tell them."
Sandra then took in a very deep breathe to go close to her mother to go to her ear for more tears to come down.
"I..... Will never be like you......I will make sure to always be in the life of my children..... To watch then grow, not wait until there 18 to be in there lives......I understand your decision, to give me to my dad when I was 6, that is the only parenting decision you made for me, even though it might have killed you inside. Mm.....mom......I forgive you."
Sandra then kissed her mom to the side of her cheek to then move back to really eye her to squeeze her hand to then look down, she squeezed back she then looked back at her and Sandra could have sworn she saw a tear. Sandra then let her hand go to go about.
"Good bye...... Mom"
Sandra left to make sure she wasn't crying has she didn't want her one side brita who stayed behind to walk her to her car, the two talked a bit, Sandra was told when they were going to pull the plug and unfortunately she had to work.
Later that night she texted her guy she met on the Internet about it for him to comfort and tell her how he lost both his bio mom, his step mom and he's dad, Sandra felt horrible for him, she then had to let her girls know what was going on, they all cried together, for them to then hear her dad start to play the guitar, they all left there room to then go for Sandra to stay by the door way to eye over this to feel sad to see her kids gather around.
Sandra took in a deep breathe to see how much this was affecting her dad, even though her parents divorced when she was 6, she could still see the love he had for her.
After a few days, Sandra was able to have her aunt, her mother's sister come in, to sit with her family, to talk to her and her dad, for them the day came, Sandra felt very guilty for not going to see her mother to off, however after awshia basically forced Sandra to see her grandmother die, she really didn't want that to be the last memory of her mom.
Has she cleaned, she kept in consistent contact with her family, her three older sisters were there and her sister, Sandra just didn't want her mother to be alone, she then got a text that they took out her ventilator but she was breathing on her own.
She got messages like that for a few hours, to then be driving home to then pull over to start to tremble, Sandra has she worked hoped since her mother was breathing on her own maybe she was going to get Better and the doctors were wrong, but her sister brita texted her, she's gone.
Sandra breathed in and out to then place her phone to the side to place her forehead to the steering wheel to cry, there was so many things she still wanted to tell her mom, so many things she felt was not resolved.
After that, she calmed herself down to drive home to go to the counter to eye over her father's back.
"Did you......"
"Yeah....I know. She was a very tough..... Woman."
Sandra then hung her head to keep her emotions in check.
"Dad?"
He turned to eye over her, sandra then eyed him .
"You can't die yet, I need to get you to your 70s do you got that."
Her father lightly chuckled to then turn back to eye over his grand children playing not to know there grand mother passed yet.
"I'll try haha."
Sandra nodded to then gather her kids to go and have has much fun when them has she could before she knew she needed to tell them, but right now, she wanted them to be happy, even if that was just a bit longer, before more heart break.