Book of My IDEAs : Eternal Imagins of Broken Brain

바다의 아이 (Child of Ocean)

My zodiac sign is... Pisces.

That's why I'm always gentle and... Be full of sensibility.

And drink water often... I like to be in the water.

Of course, I never like my clothes getting wet.



I went to the swimming pool. I often took swimming lessons there.

It was because of my mother's recommendation.

I almost got over my water phobia there.

I was free to do freestyle and equilibrium.

I especially enjoyed diving deep in the water.

Sometimes I swam clinging to the bottom of the pool.

That's how I... once lost more than 15 kilograms.

Of course... ...nearly ever slimmed down.



And in the case of walking,

As you know, Sammun-dong is almost surrounded by rivers.

There was a trail near the river.

Near the river, there were canola and rose gardens.

I liked the rose garden better than the canola field.

I called the garden the "Rose Garden of the British Gentleman"

And I always passed by there when I was working out my worries.

Sometimes when I look at the rose garden, I see it through the roses.

"British Gentleman" was seen. Of course, this is a vision.



Back to the swim talk,

I always went with my mom.

I was still 17 years old.

I didn't know anything yet.

I had no idea what puberty was like.

Besides, it was way before I got out of my nightmare.

At that time I had no friends at school.

I wasn't very good at English because I was not exposed to Wattpad.

The children sometimes gave me a hard time.

They're taking my paper and my book from me.

(At that time I had no talent for painting at all. And I don't have it now.)

They stick to me and bother me.

They put me in trouble.

......Swimming was not a good exercise for me to get out of my nightmares.

It was much better to get psychological counseling.

Still, I didn't feel bad because my mom was interested in me.

But psychological counseling always made me feel comfortable.



And when I recall the memory of that dive,

The sound from the water came up and made me comfortable.

I download ASMR music files for underwater sounds on my phone.

I listened to it often when I was alone.

Then I'm really not bothered by anyone.

I felt like I was alone in the water.

The rising ominous feelings were also often subsided by this music.



And now I'm determined to start exercising again.

I thought I wouldn't be able to try again if it wasn't now.

I can't do it right now because of COVID19.

When this situation ends one day, I will definitely visit the indoor swimming pool.

Then one day you will be able to go back to your old happiness.

I just hope the water will bring me peace.