Some topics in this part may be upsetting or triggering for some readers who have experience with loved ones in the armed forces. So please read ahead with caution.
If anyone is upset please know you can message me any time, I will also take it down if you want.
Your fiancé died a year and a half ago and your baby says their first word.
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It been a year and 8 months since Sam died when we has away on deployment. I was two months pregnant with our baby when he died. I was so lost and I didn't know what to do or where to go from there. I knew I was going to make sure our baby felt so loved and that when they grow up how amazing their father is. To keep his memory alive.
When it happened my friends rallied around me and to make sure I and the baby were ok, they would take it in turns staying with me, which I was very appreciative of, helping me with all the baby stuff, going to appointments with me, baby proofing the house. But one person who hasn't left my side is Damon.
Me and Damon have always been the closest in the group, he even admitted to liking me but as soon as he met Sam he put it behind him. Sam and him were actually best friends and did a lot together so he took his death hard too.
He also knew how much I love Sam so he wanted to be my shoulder to cry on, person to throw thing at and shout at him, rant to.
Toward the end on my pregnancy he suggested me moving into the boarding house so him Stefan and Caroline could help with the baby but I was set in staying in my house.
Me and Sam designed and built this home from the ground up, it was going to be where we built our life and family together. I wanted to raise my child and future children in the house where their father lived. Keeping this memory alive. I also can't bare to leave.
During my third trimester Damon never left my side and stayed most nights.
12 months ago, I gave birth to my baby boy, I named him Sam Hamish H/l/n. It was no question that he would take his name, it only felt right.
My future children however it happens will take his last time, unless I get married, if I get married.
He is the brightest light in my life and everyday he reminds me of his amazing dad. About a month ago me and Damon decided to give us a try.
I'm finally started to feel my self again.
When he died, I vowed not to date anyone until the baby was 8 years old, I didn't think it would be possible to love anyone in that way again. I am still not sure, but spending this much time with Damon and seeing how much he cares for me and the baby made me see him in a different light.
I am not ready for a serious relationship any time soon, or if I can love him in that way. But I am open to see where this goes.
