Electric / Steve Rogers x OC x Bucky Barnes ✓

Chapter 31: Past and Present

MADELINE

Steve and I spent the day in his room, watching movies and talking about books.

He showed me his favorite old film and I showed him my favorite (newer) film. We also bonded over the fact that he read American Psycho (and loved it, surprisingly enough) and that it's my favorite book.

I showed him Disney. He knew of it, because obviously it existed back in his time although it wasn't as big as it is now. So I decided to show him my favorite Disney movies. He really liked 'Alice in Wonderland', although it confused him in the beginning, and he also enjoyed 'Wreck It Ralph'. Both were a relief as they are my favorite Disney movies of all time.

It felt nice, just being with him, getting to know him better, avoiding the outside world. Like we were a normal couple and not superheroes who could be called on a mission any second.

For dinner we ordered Chinese takeout and ate it in bed as we watched 'Gone With the Wind'. Halfway through the movie, Steve turns to me.

"So, about what we talked about earlier.."

I look up from the screen to him, curious.

"I feel like we need to address that."

It makes me blush instantly and I'm not sure how to react.

"Which part are we talking about here?" I ask, hesitant.

"Well, two parts," Steve says as he looks down at me, my head on his chest. I move my head up to meet his eyes. "First one being your past."

I feel an instant lump in my throat.

"My past?" I ask him, startled and nervous.

"Yeah, you mentioned the reason you and Bucky are close is because he understands and that he doesn't have to ask.. But I do. I understand if this subject is sensitive but I really just want to know everything about you and this... well it's a pretty huge part of you."

I sigh. I was hoping to avoid this conversation for as long as I could. Take it to my grave, if possible.

I sit up in bed, moving away from Steve's embrace, and he sits up himself, facing me.

"It's not like I don't want you to know, Stevie. It's more that I don't want to remember the past. It feels like reliving it, when I do. But if you need answers, I will give them to you. You're going to have to ask though - that way I'll know what parts you need to know and can handle."

He widens his eyes as I finish my sentence. I'm not sure if he understood just exactly what he was asking of me, until this very moment.

"I don't want you to relive anything you don't want to, but I do want to be as close to you as Bucky is.. So he would be the second part we should address," he says as he sighs.

"Steve, you and I are much closer. And I have kept my past a secret mainly to protect you, but also myself. I like the person I am around you. I like that I don't have to worry, I like that I am a normal person. With you I can pretend it never even happened. And how do you know if I told you the truth, that your feelings for me wouldn't change?"

"I know because I love you," he says flatly, "And nothing could ever change that. Even if you went psycho and killed everyone in this building, I would still love you. I would try to stop you, yes, but I would still love you and do everything I could to protect you."

I look into his baby blues and I almost drown. I want him to know everything about me and I have been selfish, not letting him get to know that part of me.

"Okay Stevie. Ask me what you want to know, then. I can't just open the wound all at once, we need to do it gradually." I say as I look down and focus on my hands.

He watches me. "That makes sense.. So I guess my first question is.. How long did Hydra have you?"

I sigh, "They had me for around a year, give or take. Wasn't really keeping count but from what Bucky told me, it was around that."

"Okay, so that's my second question. How does Bucky fit into this? How did you first get to know each other?"

I look at my hands nervously. "Uhm, well.." I say before hesitating. As I glance up and meet his eyes it makes me forget what I was saying. Steve is the one for me, I know he is. I did have feelings or ideas of feelings about Bucky before, but they all became unimportant once I met Steve. I don't want him to think that something is going on between Bucky and I, because nothing really is, but I also don't want to lie to him.

"Bucky trained me while I was captured by Hydra. He was also there for a lot of the times they tortured me." Steve tenses at my sentence, clearly surprised by this. I glance back down to my hands. "In the beginning he was just the Winter Soldier. He looked and acted nothing like the Bucky I know now. But gradually, things changed. It was like he got his memories back. They made a mistake, didn't put him under. And he started to remember. He came back from a mission one day and remembered you, and everything changed after that. As we were sitting alone in our cells at night, he would speak about you. I hadn't lost my memories yet, it was happening gradually, but at the mentioning of your name, I remembered who you were. Who Bucky was to you. After that, I guess, Bucky started to remember more and after a mission he disappeared. I was alone for a while. It was really hard... And then I woke up one night, to Bucky grabbing me and pulling me out from the burning building. And the rest is pretty much history."

Steve is silent for a moment. He takes my hand in his, caressing mine with his thumb. "And after that he brought you to Fury?"

"No, well, they kinda found me. In Bucharest."

"You were in Bucharest?" Steve asks me, dumbfounded. He doesn't know I was there when he went to get Bucky that day. Doesn't know that Bucky left me there.

"Yes, I was. I was hiding the entire time you and him were fighting and SHIELD found me afterwards."

Steve nods, clearly taking everything in. I play with his fingers as he is deep in thought. After a while he finally speaks.

"Your powers. How did you get them?"

The question catches me off guard and I freeze for a moment, unsure of what to reply. "To be honest, I don't fully know or understand myself. All I know is that they experimented on me with a bunch of things and one day, I woke up with electricity coming out of my fingertips."

He sighs and pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around me. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"It's okay. Part of me is actually grateful," I say as I look up at him.

He furrows his eyebrows at me, "Why would you be grateful?"

"It brought me to you," I answer as I pull him in for a kiss.