Electric / Steve Rogers x OC x Bucky Barnes ✓

Chapter 134: A Change of Heart

MADELINE

"You would really, truly, rather have that thing inside you than have our babies?" 

Bucky's words ring in my ears as I process them. 

I look up at him incredulously, "It's not that easy, Bucky. It doesn't work like that." 

"It should," he replies sternly as he watches me. 

"But it doesn't!" I look to Steve and I can tell he's much more understanding about my situation right now. 

I turn back to Bucky, "I'm 21! I don't want to make these kinds of decisions right now. We just talked about this, about how the future is freaking me out. I can't make a decision like that in my current state, and frankly, it's not fair of you to ask me to do it!" 

Bucky furrows his brows as he shifts a little where he stands. He looks at Steve, who only sends him a knowing look back, and Bucky nods, "Okay, right. I get that. But still, Madeline.. Do you really want to keep that thing inside you?" 

I shake my head, "No, of course not. If I wasn't with you two, this choice would be much easier. But I am and I need to keep that in mind before I make a decision." 

Bucky slowly nods. 

I look at him, my eyes pleading, as I say, "Buck, I know you want a family, a future. And I wouldn't be here if I didn't want that too." I look from him to Steve, "I want that with the both of you. I wouldn't still be here if I didn't." 

I look back at Bucky as I say, "But I don't want it right now. I'm not ready." 

Bucky swallows thickly as he looks to the ground, "No, of course. I understand," he looks back up at me, "But then what are you going to do?" 

"I don't know," I practically whisper, as I look back down at my hands. 

"I want the both of you. Forever. And I want that, with everything it entails, but I'm not ready to start that life yet," I say quietly, "I'm not ready to do it yet." 

I look up at Bucky and I can see the hurt in his eyes. "Please don't make me choose that yet," I say, pleading with him. 

He moves closer to me, sadness on his face, as he quietly says, "I won't. But that thing is making you feel things.. hear things.. It's making you different from who you truly are." 

"I'm still who I've been ever since you've known me," I reply as I hold his gaze. 

"I know," he replies as he moves next to me on the bed and takes my hand in his, "But what if it's affected your emotions so much that you won't even be the same person once it's taken out? What if we take this thing," he glances between Steve and I, "Too far, and then you find out it's not what you truly want, once it's taken out?"

"That's why you want me to remove it now?" I ask softly, "Because you're worried my feelings might change once it's out?" 

Bucky hesitates, looking at Steve before looking back at me and nodding slowly. 

I move my hand to caress his cheek, "James, the feelings I have for you - the both of you - they have nothing to do with this. I know what I feel. I can tell now, when it's Hydra, when it stops being me. If only, taking that thing out would help me freak out less." 

Bucky smiles at me as he leans into my touch, "Then maybe that's why I want it taken out." 

I chuckle, "Yeah, right. You just want it taken out because you want me to have your children." 

His hand goes to cup mine on his cheek, "Is that so bad? I know neither me nor Steve would object to seeing you pregnant with our child. You would look beautiful." 

I smile at him, "Yes, okay, maybe. But then you would both leave me for long periods of times to go save the world, and I would be stuck trying to raise your super soldier children." 

Bucky shakes his head, "No, when that time comes, I'm done with this. I don't even want it now. I don't want to fight anymore. If you got pregnant I would want to spend every waking moment with you and the child you would bring me." 

I blush at his words and it makes butterflies tumble around my stomach as I think about him, playing house, tickling a brunette boy with beautiful blue eyes. 

He makes it seem sweet, romantic, and wonderful. I have to work hard to remind myself that I'm not ready, because the look he's giving me right now is making me change my mind completely. 

I look from him to Steve, "He's talking crazy right now." 

Steve chuckles, "He's right, though. We would give it all up." 

I smile at him, "Steve, I know you. You wouldn't be able to stay away. If the world needed you, you would go. We both know that." 

He shakes his head lightly, "That might have been true during the war. It might even have been true a few years back. But it's not true now." 

I look between him and Bucky, and the look on Bucky's face is adoring and gentle, and it almost makes me loose my cool. 

I retract my hand quickly from his cheek, "Okay, you guys need to stop this right now or I'll get sucked right into it." 

Bucky chuckles, "Now that I know there's a chance you could get sucked into it, I'm never stopping it. You would look beautiful carrying our child." 

I cock an eyebrow at him, "It wouldn't be both of yours. It would be either." 

Bucky shrugs, "Then two it is." 

I laugh loudly, "You're insane. I'm not even your girlfriend and you're talking about me having your babies. You need to calm down, sir." 

Bucky grins at me and looks quickly at Steve before looking back at me. 

"We'll shelf this discussion then, for now. But now that I know you have a soft spot, don't think I won't bring it up again," he says before kissing me softly.