Electric / Steve Rogers x OC x Bucky Barnes ✓

Chapter 127: Unsure

*TW: Panic attack, although not in the same scale as last time.*

MADELINE

I take a sharp intake of breath as I see the picture in the locket. 

I was expecting something else. Someone else. 

When I look back up at Steve I see him watching me expectantly. I have no idea what to say. 

I was expecting Peggy. 

I never expected this. 

I never expected that he would switch that picture out. I never expected he would put her behind him. Put her in the past. 

I'm speechless, the words on my tongue practically making me choke as I feel my heart beating out of my chest. 

It's me in that locket. Why is it me? 

It shouldn't be you. 

I hear the familiar voice in my mind and I speak, just to keep it quiet.

"Steve, I-" 

He quickly interrupts me. 

"Am I the one, Madeline?" 

I feel my heart pounding in my chest, I can practically taste it. 

Is he? And am I truly the one for him?

You're not. 

I clench my eyes shut at the thoughts running through my mind again. 

Why are they back?!

I feel my heart beating even faster and I take deep breaths, trying to control what's happening to me right now. 

He loves you more than her. Do you love him more than you love the Winter Soldier?

You should, he's a monster. 

But then again, so are you. 

NO. He's not that anymore. And neither am I. 

I shake my head at my thoughts and as I open my eyes, I see Steve noticing. 

He's still waiting for my reply but I feel sweaty and flustered as I look up at him and the thoughts take over my mind once again. 

Who do you love? You can't have them both, that's a fantasy. You will lose one of them, if not both.

How could you love a monster?

And how could the Golden Boy ever love you?

I grab my hair at the roots as I clench my eyes shut once again. 

"Madeline, what's going on?"

I hear Steve talk to me, his voice urgent and worried, but it's like I'm under water. I can hear him, but I also can't. Every sound is muffled. 

I crouch down before sitting on the floor, my hands still curled in my hair. 

You cannot love them both equally, you know you can't.

You must choose.

The further you tangle yourself in this, the harder it will get. 

I let out a squeal as I try to silence the thoughts. 

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I hear faint shouting but it doesn't truly register. 

The only thing that does is the voice. 

He loves you but he doesn't even know you. 

He will never truly know you. 

Because if he did, he would know what you are. 

A monster.

My body trembles as I pull roughly on my hair, clenching my eyes shut even harder, trying to escape the thoughts. I feel the energy pulse through me as the panic increases inside. 

You don't belong with them.

You know you don't. 

You belong to us, you will always belong to us.

"NO!" I yell out loudly as I feel the energy course through my body.

This is different than last time because this time, I know what's going on. I know who's speaking to me. I know where the voice is telling me to go, and I know why it is. 

My body is enveloped in the blue glow as the voice speaks again. 

You're a weapon. 

A monster. 

That's what you are. 

Embrace it. 

"NO!" I loudly yell out again and I feel hands grabbing me. I hear faint voices in the room, but nothing registers. 

Suddenly I feel a pair of familiar arms lifting me up and I pass out as I'm held close to his chest, the voices bringing me to my breaking point. 

... 

I wake up abruptly. 

I instantly sit up, panic running through me again. I take in the room surrounding me and it appears to be a lab, but it's much more advanced than what I'm used to at the compound. 

When I feel a hand squeeze mine I snap my head to the side, frantic, and see Bucky sitting there. 

I'm panting as I watch his face. His expression is worried and concerned and he quickly puts his other hand on my cheek. 

"Calm down doll, you're okay." 

I'm still panting as I look at him. Is he real? 

He moves up from the chair he's sitting in and pulls me to him in a hug, "You're okay," he coos, "It's me, it's just me. I swear, it's me." 

I take a deep breath and once I smell his familiar scent, it calms me down. 

I can feel my heart beating in my chest still, but my breathing calms a little. 

He pulls me even tighter to him, "You're okay," he repeats, "You're okay." 

I sigh and wrap my arms around him, taking deep breaths against his neck. 

Once he pulls back his hands goes to my face and he looks at me worried, "How do you feel?" 

I look at him, "I don't know, Buck. I don't know what happened.." 

"You had a panic attack," I hear a familiar voice calmly say and I look to the source. Once I do, I see Steve walking towards me. 

When he reaches me he takes my hand and kisses my palm gently, "Are you okay?" 

I nod a little, "Yeah, I think.." 

He smiles softly, "Thank god, I was so worried. I had no idea what to do." 

"What happened?" I ask him as I furrow my brows. 

"You were talking to someone who wasn't there. You were panicking but no matter what I said or did, I couldn't pull you out of it. It was like you weren't there, although you were. You just kept screaming 'no'." 

I turn to Bucky, "Do you know what this is?" 

He nods slowly, "Yes, I do. That's why Shuri is here. She promised to help you and she will, I swear doll. She will fix this." 

I look to the other side of the room and see Shuri tapping on a tablet urgently. 

"What do you see?" I ask her as my gaze locks on her.