Electric / Steve Rogers x OC x Bucky Barnes ✓

Chapter 69: Take It Slow

MADELINE

I wake up to a familiar feeling I haven't had in months. Steve's warm body next to me.

After I sobbed for hours, I was exhausted. I feel asleep as he held me. 

I woke up in the middle of the night, realizing I was still fully dressed, and that Steve was next to me. 

He wasn't holding me as usual, but he was next to me, and that was enough to make me fall back asleep peacefully. 

But now it's morning and now I have to deal with the fact that I'm back here. 

I crawl out of bed and go to the bathroom to take a shower. I might have not wanted to leave that apartment in the Bronx, but with that being said, I've missed the shower pressure here. 

My mind wanders as I wash myself. 

How am I going to deal with this?

I wasn't ready to do so yet, but now I'm being forced to do it. And I have a lot of explaining to do and very few ways to do it. 

I know Nat and Wanda are going to be here any minute, knocking on my door, demanding answers. 

And I know I'll have to face Bucky eventually. My stomach flutters as I think of him and I roll my eyes. We're supposed to be mad at him, he's the reason for this entire mess. I'm tired of my own body betraying me like this. 

I also need to figure things out with Steve. I still love him but I have no idea if he'll ever be able to forgive me for leaving like that. And although I love him and I've missed him, that doesn't mean that I'm actually good for him. He deserves someone who wouldn't do that to him and I've always known I didn't deserve him. 

I can tell he's been affected by my absence. The beard and longer hair is a clear indicator for that. Although I must say, I don't mind the beard. Makes him look older but it also suits him very well. 

I sigh. Focus. 

I have a lot of stuff I need to figure out right now and part of me just wants to run again and never deal with it. But it's been made very clear that I won't be getting away with that a second time. 

... 

Once I've dried my hair and gotten dressed in the bathroom I go back into my bedroom, telling myself I'm ready to face Steve. 

As I see him lying in my bed I realize I am most definitely not ready. My entire body is begging me to just run into his arms, pull him close, and kiss him. 

Seeing him in my bed gives me instant flashbacks of smiles, kisses, and happy times. Confessions of love, movies in bed, and cuddles. 

I sigh again. 

"Hey, how do you feel?" He asks me, bringing me out of my daze. 

"I don't know," I answer honestly. 

He nods slightly, "Okay.. So, what's going to happen now?" 

I sigh again, "I don't know. I don't know how I'll ever make it up to you. I still love you, and I didn't want to leave you like that, and I thought about you every day. But you deserve better than that. You deserve better than me.." 

He moves out of bed and towards me, and once he's close enough he takes my hand in his. My entire body flutters and the electricity is once again surging through me. It's almost dizzying. I haven't felt it in two months after having been used to feeling it every day. 

"Maddie, I love you. We can figure this out if we're both willing to work on it and talk to each other." 

I look up at him and my heart hurts. "How can you still love me after that?" I whisper. 

He puts a hand on my cheek, "Because love like that doesn't just go away. It stays with you. And I know you'll be staying with me forever, whether you're physically here with me or not." 

I feel like putty in his hands as I lean into his touch. "Steve," I breathe, "I love you too but we need to take this slow. We shouldn't just jump right back in. I have a lot to make up for.. And I have a lot I need to figure out.." 

"Okay, we'll take it slow," he replies, "And I know. You still need to talk to Bucky." 

My body tenses as he mentions Bucky and my mind is conflicted. On one hand I've missed him so much and on the other hand I still don't feel ready to forgive him. 

"I don't know if I want to talk to him yet." 

Steve moves closer to me, putting a hand on my waist, "Maddie, I know he hurt you. But he's torn up about it. You haven't seen him these past two months while you've been gone. He's barely spoken to anyone, spent most of his days sulking in his room. He's barely even spoken to me because he felt guilty." 

"Guilty?"

"Yes, he had a feeling he was the reason you left and last night, you confirmed it." 

"Oh.. right.." I say as I look down. 

Steve moves a finger under my chin and lifts my face to his, "Take it slow and speak to him when you feel okay to do so. But just know it's been killing him. It's been killing me too.. I can't believe you're in front of me right now, I was starting to think I'd never get to hold you like this again." 

I glance down to the ring on his finger and my stomach flutters. "You're still wearing it," I say quietly, my eyes fixated on the gleaming silver. 

"I'm never taking it off," he says as he watches me, and as I meet his eyes, he leans down and gently places a kiss on my lips. "We'll take it slow."