Electric / Steve Rogers x OC x Bucky Barnes ✓

Chapter 138: Decision

MADELINE

Bucky's fingers are laced with mine as we make our way back. 

We spent the afternoon in the meadow, and it quickly turned into early evening. 

I got so caught up in him, and what he was doing to me, and the feelings he was bringing out, that I didn't realize how late it had gotten until we started walking back. 

This was honestly one of the best days I've ever had. 

The only thing that could compare to it would be the first time Steve told me he loved me. Or told me I was his girlfriend. Or maybe the first time Bucky told me he loved me.. Or the first night I spent with them..

My mind wanders as I think about how many perfect days I've actually had since I've met them. And it's quite a lot. 

It's a lot more perfect days than bad days. The bad days I can count on one hand, if I don't consider the fact that I spent two months away from them. 

Which, to be honest, were the worst days of my life so far. 

I mean, Hydra was awful. But this was different. Being away from them felt like a piece was missing, like I wasn't myself. Like I didn't know who I was. Like I wasn't whole. 

With Hydra it was different. That might be because I don't remember much, but from the stuff I do remember, it never felt like that. 

It just felt numb. Painful. Like I was drowning. 

The only light in my life back then was when I would be in my cell at night and Bucky would talk. And he only did that towards the end. 

It was a long year without any light. 

But my life has really changed since Tony invited me to stay at the compound. 

It almost feels like that's when my life truly started. 

And I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. 

... 

As we get further away from the meadow, we meet more people on the way, and I feel the urge to retract my hand from Bucky's.

He notices and squeezes my hand a little as he smiles at me.

It feels unnatural to hold his hand like this because I've never done it in public before. 

And part of me still feels guilty for doing it because I know, although we might be able to be open about our relationship here, I'm still keeping him a secret from the rest of the world.

And that breaks my heart. He deserves better than that.

He just declared his love to me in a very emotional and meaningful way. He just showed me how serious he is about me, us, about our future.

I owe him to do the same for him.

As we continue walking back I see Bucky smiling and greeting people, strangers to me, but clearly old friends or acquaintances to him.

He's so comfortable here. He's.. Happy.

If the world won't accept the love him, Steve and I share, then maybe Wakanda is where our future is. Because here we can be ourselves without being judged or hated for it. 

I don't think I would mind that. I've never truly had a home before, not one that I remember. The only thing that closely resembles a home for me would be the compound. 

But the main reason that place feels like home is because of the people in it. Steve and Bucky. But also Nat, Wanda and Tony. And also the others, when I think about it. They're my family. 

But I'm not particularly attached to New York, or the compound itself. So if we told the world, and it all went to shit, I wouldn't be opposed to moving here, if that meant I could openly be with the two people I love the most. I would miss the others, especially Nat and Wanda, but they could still visit. 

Ultimately, it would be more important for me to be with the loves of my life. The rest I would have to figure out as I go.. 

But I might just be getting ahead of myself. We haven't talked in detail about what's going to happen yet, and maybe Bucky's big declaration is just making my mind go to places it doesn't need to go. 

Bucky takes me back on a longer route than the one I took to get here, and we walk through the city, his hand still firmly holding mine. 

I get to see the surroundings more properly this way. The buildings and landscapes are beautiful, and the people are so nice. Every few minutes someone is saying hi, or talking to Bucky, which makes me realize just how at home he truly is right now. 

When a little girl runs up to Bucky and hugs his legs, his hand releases mine. He grabs the little girl and lifts her up, holding her close against him as a big grin paints his lips.

"I missed you, nugget," he says as he tickles her, and she giggles in response.

My heart is racing as I watch him hold the little girl in his arms, talking to the mother like she's an old friend.

He introduces me the little girl and her mother, and I smile and try to small-talk, but I can't focus on anything they're saying.

My entire body is tingling at the sight of Bucky holding the little girl, and it's like my ovaries are screaming - which is quite shocking considering I didn't even think I wanted kids up until a few days ago.

As I watch him hold the little girl, her fingers touching his beard and squeezing his cheeks, and him laughing and talking comfortably as she's in his arms, my mind is made up.

We have to talk to Steve tonight.

I can't keep him secret anymore. I need the world to know just how much I love this man, and just how much he deserves love.

And I need us to make plans for the future. Like living together, being together. A plan for what our dynamic is going to be like.

A plan for when we have a family.

I just hope Steve is on board. I know whatever response the world will have to us all being together, it'll be worst for him.