Dear Alex,
So I have this "best friend" I been really close with ever since middle school but as time passed by we kind of just faded away. This would usually happened and we'd end up talking to work things out but now it's different. What became a daily routine s now nothing. We're really nothing now. We'd talk once in a blue moon in person when we meet us but it's not the same cause we'd just end up in out own ways. I knew it wasn't worth is so I stopped trying but she came back asking for advice and I just had to be there for her. But in reality we'd go back with to strangers and it irks me because even if we had a chance to work things out.. We both know it won't last forever. It's like we're in a relationship but this is more than that, its a friendship that I miss. I miss her. And what we use to be. I'm sorry I'm throwing all of this, I just need someone to hear me out.
-Anon
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Dear Anon,
Well it seems like in one way she's trying to still make an effort but on the other hand it seems like she just comes to you when she needs something. If you already tried to make the friendship work and nothing has worked out then I don't think that there's anything more you could do. Friendship isn't one sided just like any relationship isn't. You have to have two people wanting to keep their relationship or in this case friendship together. I mean you could try and try again but it won't lead to any path you might want it to go unless she meets you half way and not a quarter of the half. If your actually putting in that 50 and she is too then there shouldn't by a problem. But on the other hand one day you might want to realize that some friendships can't be put back together and your just going to have to take the good times with you and the lessons it brought, for the future. Maybe in the future you both will be good friends again but for now it's just not written in the stars. It may not be what you want and I understand that you may miss them but life moves on with or without the person. I should know, because I was in the same situation as you. I have a best friend and ever since I moved away she would talk to me less and less but then wouldn't talk to me completely at all. I mean she practically disappeared when I needed her most but I told myself the same thing I am telling you because it helps ease that missing that person just a little bit. What can I say? I've tried and I've tried to talk to her but she won't answer or anything to me so I stopped and took a moment to think about it. I would always tell myself 'oh shes just busy' and all that. Truth is sometimes that person is busy but sometimes its not that at all. Just remember when you think your the reason the other person is drifting apart, your not. Because sometimes it's that person. That person is just fighting their demons just like how depressed people don't want to talk to anyone around them, that person is in a different state of mind. Better people will become part of your life and you'll see, that this friendship may have just been part of a bigger one.
In a better state of mind,
Alex <3
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