Ask Alex ~A wattpad Advice Column~

When your siblings despise you.

Dear Alex,   Where do I begin? Well i just turned 20 and  i'm having some problems with my younger siblings. They absolutely despise me... my sister is a teenager but acts older and she completely hates me. Whenever I try to do something with her or talk to her, she pushes me away or acts indifferent and is mean. It hurts a lot. I know I shouldn't really care cause she's younger than me and I have my own life but I cant help but feel miserable. I mean she's my sister and I love her very much and wish I had a better relationship with her...my brother is a little younger so he can be nicer than her at times and more understanding but since he's growing up he's become more mean.  But I'm a closer to him than I am my sister. Also there are times when I feel like my sister prefers my brother. They fight, yeah but she's a whole nicer to him than me. And, whenever she has her friends over, she lets my brother hang out with them and they love him. But with me, its like she's ashamed. I'm so sorry if this a lot but I'm at a loss on what to do. This has been going over for two years now and I don't know how much more I can take it. It hurts so much to know that my siblings hate me....   sincerely   Lonely and hurt.

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Dear Lonely and hurt,   

I am so sorry that it took me 2 days to reply to you!! :/ I didn't check my email til now v.v But anyways on to your problem.  

Honestly.. I don't think your siblings hate you. I feel like they are just going through a phase right now. They are growing up which means they will act different. You're only 20 so you must know how it was to be their age... or have you forgotten? Either way don't think of them pushing you away or anything is to hurt you. Sometimes they don't even realize they are doing it. They just need them time and with them time requires growth with in themselves. Yeah, that means even a few years to do so. They might not want to hang out with you as much because they see you as an adult now so they might not think of it as cool to hang around an older sister or whatever. If you really want this to change you can take little steps in order for it to happen because it's not impossible. You can try inviting your sister to things that she likes to do and then you can have some bonding time then or with your brother too. Setting time for your family which you both will enjoy increases your likability overall. If this doesn't solve anything talk to them at the dinner table or something. Or if you really wanna know why they have been like this toward you just sit with them and talk to them about it and make sure they are assured that it's okay to go to you for whatever and your like a safe place in time of anything. It's not fun to think that your siblings hate you but it could just be a teen phase that they are going through to make them that way. And age kinda matters too since the more you guys are age wise apart the most likely you won't be as close to siblings that are of your age, in my opinion.    I really hope this helps and that your relationship with them gets stronger and not bitter.    Alex :)