Ask Alex ~A wattpad Advice Column~

A friend is someone who sticks up for you

Dear Alex,

I have two problems. One is that the guy I am crushing on is confusing me. One moment we're flirting and teasing each other, and the next I find out that he used to like this girl but I think he still likes her. I'm just so confused and even though we're friends, I'm really scared of asking him. I'm fine with him just being my friend, I just want him to be clear of what his intentions are. Two, my church friends call me a goody-goody just because I don't like being obnoxious or loud like them. And probably because my dad is the pastor. But they stereotypically think that all pastor's kids are uptight and don't wanna do anything "fun." So maybe I do like staying home somedays and read books. So what? It's not because my parents won't let me do anything, it's because that's what I chose to do in my free time. That's just my style. So how do I confront my friends and tell them to please stop? And what annoys me and stabs me in the back is that my friend whom I've known since birth, doesn't tell the other girls to stop. She just sits there! I mean, I would have kinda appreciated it if she had told them to knock it off. That's what I do for her. So why does she look so uncomfortable in that group and can't do anything about it? It's like I can't trust anyone anymore.          

-Confused and betrayed

____________

Dear Confused and betrayed, 

1) What makes you think he still likes her? Does he show it in front of you or is he talking about her a lot? A lot of guys do this to make you jealous and even though that's pretty messed up, they do anyway. So I wouldn't take it to heart that he likes her again but if you are wanting to know what his intentions are then asking two simple questions will clear things up. What does he see in you and what does he feel about you. These two questions will answer a lot of what you want to know. 

2) Well just tell them to stop. I would do the same thing. I wouldn't just sit there and take it. I'd stick up for myself. So just like how you told me all those things, go tell them. If they were really your friends they would understand that your different from how they are. And also with your friend she probably just doesn't want to be an outcast per-say.. she wants to fit in and if a friend can't stick up for you then they aren't really your friends. I mean you should talk to her about it.. but if all shes going to do is make excuses then I would save yourself the trouble of getting hurt in the future and just making a new friend. I had a friend in 3rd grade til 10th and during the middle years like 7th grade to 9th grade she lost my trust and respect. And she was my best friend. But just because you want that person to be your best friend doesn't mean they really are. People change and sometimes you don't even recognize who they are anymore. You can be mad at her for this but if she actually sticks up for you next time instead of just sitting there then you have nothing to worry about. But she does need to earn some of your friendship back. But if she keeps being the way she is then I would show her that, that is really messed up. 

Hope this helps :)

Alex :)