Ask Alex ~A wattpad Advice Column~

Dating but we both have crushes

Dear Alex,

You could say that I am conflicted. Like most girls my age. I am different then them but at the same time my problems are similar to theirs.  I am dating one boy and he has broke my heart too many times to count. I love him and I always will but he hardly shows his feelings back. He forgets about everything and he is so distant when something is wrong. I feel like he doesn't trust me to help when I know very well that he does trust me. He just doesn't show it. He has a crush on another girl but she won't give him a chance and he has so much going on at home. He is a sweet heart and means well but I don't like feeling like I am second best. Then there is my crush... You see we are a triad of friends. My two amigos and I. We do a lot together and would die for each other. They mean everything to me. I have dated one several times as stated above but it has never worked out. I have also always had this huge crush on the third member if our group... I don't know what to do about it... Do I just stay with the boy who has hurt me before or do I go for the boy that has given me a shoulder to cry on? I know it seems like a stupid question, but if you knew us and how we worked it would be so different. I don't want my current boyfriend to feel betrayed and hurt if I date our common friend... You see they are best friends... We all three are... That's what makes this so difficult to figure out... 

Torn Heart

_______

Dear Torn Heart, 

So I'm going to be honest here. I don't see why you guys are together if he wants to be with someone else and you like someone else too. If he doesn't give you his all in a relationship then I think it's best for you not to be with him. I think it's best for you to be with someone who isn't going to want to be with someone else even if the other girl doesn't wanna be with him. You should also be with someone who is going to show you that they love you and care for you in the purest forms that they can. Sometimes two people are better off just friends and I think that's the case with you both. I think you guys need to talk about where you stand and where you want to go from here. Both of you need to be as open with your feelings as you are open with me. I also believe you should talk about where you and this crush you have stand also after you talk with your bf and if you guys decide not to be with each other anymore. You never really know. Your crush may like you back. Even though that situation on it's own is messed up as well... at least you have a better shot with a guy that's going to treat you like you need to be treated. If he ends up liking you back and you guys want to date.. this may be breaking guy code or girl code or whatever code but I think to resolve that isn't to just jump into a relationship right away.. give it a month or so and then you guys ask your current bf for permission. It's a sign of respect. And hopefully nothing changes between you guys after that. It's a pickle to be in but you can't go on like this. It isn't healthy love. 

I hope this helps you :/

Alex