Ask Alex ~A wattpad Advice Column~

Sexuality and dad issues

I can't beleive I'm doing this but here goes.

I think I'm bi sexual. That's a lie I don't think that, I KNOW that. I even have a crush on a boy in my school. I haven't really told anyone, especially my parents. I don't see any point in doing that, I mean there's a 50% chance I might end up with a girl right? Shouldn't I spare them the pain? I mean, I already know they won't be "okay" with it, they'll have me exorcised because the demon's possessing me or some shit like that. I know they wont look at me the same. Their oppinion of me would go even lower. 

I've been through some horrible things as a child, which I'm not comfortable posting here. But I just wanted to tell someone.

Last but not least, I have daddy issues. I'm slightly overweight for my height and my dad never let's me forget it. The only conversation we have all day is when he asks me "Did you go to the gym?" and I give a one word answer. All he does is tell me how fat I am. When I was 13, he'd call me a loser. Yeah, my biggest bully was my own dad. He always finds something or the other wrong with me. He told me I was stupid, so to fix that I got straight A's in my gcse's, but it wasn't good enough for him. I went to the gym every damn day of this summer and worked out till my arms felt like pudding, but it still wasnt good enough for him. It's gotten so bad that when he gets home, I pretend to be asleep so I won't have to talk to him. I saw my cousin lying down in his dad's lap the other day and it physically hurt me when I realized that I hate my dad. 

As you can tell, I'm a fucked up person, but I plaster a fake smile on all the time. I even practice smiling in the mirror to make sure  no one can tell how utterly miserable I am. Tell me what I should do. 

From : Again, I cannot believe I'm telling you this crap.

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Dear Again, I cannot believe I'm telling you this crap, 

Well first off I just wanted to to say that thank you for coming to me and that I think you told me because you just need answers? .-. Most people just need to vent or rant to someone most of the time and it's completely okay you know? 

But on with your problems... 

Well I think it's brave that you told me that your bi.. I think that if you want to keep it from your parents that's totally fine but you also have to think about how in the future how it will come into effect if you end up dating a guy or even being with one as a life partner.. What will happen then? I mean you can hold it off for as long as you want but one day they will find out. I don't think you should even care what you think what your parents have to say because it's your body and you should do what you want to do with it. With that being said, your dad is a dick, no offence. I know that feeling where your own family puts you down because all my life I've always had a family member or more put me down and bully me so yes, I've been through it yet I'm still over coming it. Don't let them do that to you, you should stand up to your dad about this issue. Honestly you can't please everyone, not even your parents because they have been through shit too and most likely they are stressed and just putting it on you. Don't take it and again, stand up for yourself. If you are happy with your body let it be known. You can't just sit there and whine about how your dad does this and that and not do anything about it. If you have stood up to him and he doesn't listen then MAKE him listen. You are your own person and he is his. If he has image problems then that's on him you know? 

You are not a fucked up person for having a fucked up dad. Let me just tell you that right now. You are not your dad and what he does to you has no effect on the person you are, okay? To be honest, most people fake a smile and that's not okay anymore.. you want to be happy right? Then stop trying to please your dad because he seems to just want keep pushing you down and never seems like he will ever think of you as good enough. That is not your problem. That is his. 

I really hope everything gets better for you!

Alex <3