Ask Alex ~A wattpad Advice Column~

Being distant

Hey im shy girl...

Hey mines quite long really i mean

1. I have boyfriend we dated once. For about a year i thought i was over him until i met him again. We talked for  A while then once he tried calling and found my number busy he got really mad then started pushing himself away it made me really sad i cried for weeks. One day he calls and and acts like nothing happened. I played along coz i was happy. On January this year we i asked if we were dating coz he called always n was the sweetest thin ever... I really love him. I'm so confuse since h joine this social site he became distant Nd began ignoring me. Wen he called it happened agen the act like nothin ever happened. I didn't play along he got mad and ignored me for days i was sad but wen he finally called he said i was being negative minded thats he kept away am soo sad coz i miss him n want him backkkk we not broken up but seems distant.

Im sorry it quite long but that's not all

2nd. my dad remarried n my mum has a lover which everyone knows about in the hood its embarrassing everyone knows our problems my dad lost his job my mum does some consoltansy which helps. Im in my last year of high shool have my finalz on june to its realy hard since i have the guy issues n all. Im an average student n think this will affect my grades. My family memberz dont get along with my mum shez hot tempered n i think im soooooo emotional its hurting me.

Honestly they aren't my real parents thev raised me since i was 3yearz old... The woman whos raising me is my dadz sister my real mum n dad devorced wen i was 2yrz n my mum got married. Wen i was in year 8 my mum took me but my aunt was upset and took me back... My real dad on the ither hand never callz n i mean never and we in the same town. What should i doooo my emotions are making me emo n my friends say ive changed alot from the Innocent sweet doesn't say much n everyone loves to an emooo.!!! Plz help my friendz dont give the best advice

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Hey Shy girl, 

     Well I would just like to tell you that I'm glad you came to me with your need for help and advice. So for the first, let me just clarify something. You are still dating the guy that you dated once yet you guys are distant? Can you call that a relationship at all? I understand that relationships have troubles but him always being distant is a problem. You need to either be together or not at all. He can't be putting only 25% into the relationship. It's just not right for you or for him. If he doesn't want you being negative minded than he needs to stop acting like you guys don't have a relationship. Feelings can stur back to the surface when you see your ex again, it happens but what I always say is that sometimes two people are just not meant to be and this meeting is just a test to see if you can be strong enough to walk away. I think you both need a really long chat about if you both see this relationship going further or not. Ignoring you and being distant from you is going to be a big problem in the future if you stay together. You need to ask him if there is something that is going on with him that is making him distant. I really feel that you aren't his first priority which is shit because you should be. Take charge of your relationship or you may just end up getting used. 

For the second paragraph, I could relate. I live with my dad's sister right now and my real mom left me to my dad when I was 3 months old. My dad married someone when I was 5 and ever since then, well my life spiraled out of control. What I think you should do is forget about boy problems and family problems, focus on the good energy in life and focus on school since it's almost done. Just for that 2 months and then you can worry later. It isn't any good to stuff yourself with worry because it  isn't healthy. Boy problems will always be there, yes, but it can be avoided. Family problems will always be there, yes, but it's best to try to take deep breathes. This hurts a person emotionally I know, I've been in your place before. I think you should look at it in a brighter way. You still have family. There there for you and they wouldn't be taking care of you if they didn't care. Your dad may not call but that doesn't mean he doesn't think about you once in awhile. Sometimes people just don't want to involve themselves in something like a child because they don't want to either be hurt or hurt their child. It may not make sense to you but maybe it's best that your dad doesn't call. Then you would just be more hurt. What you do to get yourself out  of this funk, is what counts. I try to do things to take my mind off of it. For example, writing. It's a means of escape from reality, just for a little, well as long as your writing. Dancing, I dance to express all the pain that I have been feeling and just a bit of happiness to light my sky. You need to surround yourself with positive energies. If something isn't making you happy, cut that thing off and make sure that other thing makes you happy. There are plenty of boys that will give you the love and attention that you need. There is so many that will make you happy. Just because you love one guy doesn't mean they are the right one for you. If you were once sweet and all that as your friends say and now your turning emotional? Well, flip the mood around. You don't need to get emotional. Finding a platform into your happiness is the first step. 

I know where your coming from, I feel you, I really do. 

I hope I have helped you in every way possible that I could!

Alex