Ask Alex ~A wattpad Advice Column~

Stay Strong <3

Dear Alex, 

I'm a guy who has so problems. 

I'm very asocial at home because I can't seem to get along with anybody. If I say something, it seems like I just attacked the president. My mom says she hates me and I feel like she really means it. It makes me kinda sad.. even though I don't really like her like a normal kid would love his mom. 

A couple months ago I tried to end my life. With no succes. 

I don't really know if I'm happy that it didn't work or not. 

But since that day I'm having guidance. I'm not social in any way BUT wattpad. I only talk on this site. But for doing that I need a lot of strnght. Because I almost never feel like talking (because of some reasons.) Now I want to talk with one special person but he doesn't seem to want it. I found out he wasn't the one he said he was and now I'm just too confused. Only the picture was fake but I'm still asking myself if that's the only thing that was fake... 

I wanted to skype or let him send a real pic, but he didn't want to. 

Now that we barely talk I feel alone and more depressed than ever. What should I do ? How can I keep myself from doing stupid things again ?? 

Thank you, 

M.me 

________

Dear M.me, 

Firstly.. and I know this may seem rude but.. are you adopted? Because if so then it would explain a lot of the trouble at home you are having, especially with your mom.. I should know since I basically grew up with a woman that I thought was my mom but treated me so bad that I just figured she wasn't.. and she really wasn't.. But of course there are families where this does happen.. The only solution to this is to move out.. live with a different relative that doesn't harm you emotionally and mentally like where you live. If you don't have this option then it's going to be hard but you'll have to duke it out till you can.. which isn't what you want to hear and what I don't want to say but that's all I know from where I stand..

Secondly, I really really am glad that your alive. Don't think so much on if your happy or not but focus on that your breathing and your still here, for a reason. Don't ever ever try to take your life again. Life is hard. I get it. I'm living proof of how hard times can get yet I'm still breathing.. I want to harm myself and die... a lot of the time.. more times than I care to share or take notice of.. I've had I guess you can say small panic or anxiety attacks..  where I get images of blood coming from my arm from cutting over and over and over again and thinking that I'm worthless and that I shouldn't live.. and that I'm basically nothing but I got through it.. with no help from other people.. I've been getting through life itself.. and brighter days will be ahead of you my friend. You just have to appreciate each breath that comes and goes from your body. Appreciate the past, present, and future. Know that you are not alone and that people are rooting for you to get through it. And just know I am too. 

Thirdly, I get it.. trust me. I don't have any friend in real life. Every friend that I have now is from a website.. I don't go out much, barely leave my room.. only to eat or go out to get groceries or something like that but barely go out.. And I feel like some people wish they were in our positions while others wish they were out of our positions.. For me, I feel like I wish I had a life outside of the computer but then again I'm thankful for every friend that I have made. I too feel like not talking at times and it's okay to have those days.. You just have to take some time for you as much as possible. 

Fourth matter, This is a issue that I find myself in and I also find others in... Sometimes you can't figure if the person behind the screen is actually who they say they are.. usually with a fake picture they make up a fake story or lead a fake life.. but other times.. it's just there too insecure or scared to show you their face but everything else was real.. Some people just want to be loved with out their appearance to be everything the person wants. With him not wanting to skype or send you a real pic just means he probably is scared to show you what he really looks like cause if he shows you he doesn't want to feel rejected or for you to be disgusted which is something to consider when you next talk to him. Make sure you make him see that you're still in it no matter what and don't push him until he wants to be pushed if that makes sense.. If he still doesn't after a bit of just reminding him that it's not okay then that is a problem.. because you do want to know who is behind that screen and also not safe either.. I may just add.. which you should point out to him.. that you just want to be safe.. You want to get to know the real him, all of him this time. No lies, no deceiving. If he doesn't talk to you.. or barely talks to you then wait it out and try again.. if it keeps happening then it seems like it's a lost cause.. why change after the truth comes out, you know?

M.me listen, you are not alone. Whenever you feel alone I want you to come to me and we can talk. We can talk about anything and hopefully I can help you as much as I possibly can breathe. I'll help you as long as you want to help yourself. You are not alone okay? I can assure you that. I don't care if you feel like your bothering me, bother me! I'll love you for it! XD

How can you help yourself? Well, find a medium. Find a therapy. A release that helps you. Find something that makes you happy. Do something that makes you happy. Whether it's writing, reading, music, dancing, singing, uhm playing sports, something just find a way to distract yourself. If you ever feel lonely or you feel the urge to do something bad to yourself go to someone. I found this kind of interesting. I found it on tumblr where it was a alternate to cutting. Ask people around you or well on wattpad that you're close to. Put there names in a jar and whenever you feel something bad you write them a letter about how you feel in their inbox or wherever.. and they will be there for you. It's okay to want help from people close to you, that's what they are there for. But it's not okay to want to die or well in your way of saying do stupid things. 

Live. Laugh. Love. 

Live in the present. Live for yourself. Live because you want to live. Don't let people ruin your day and if someone does let someone else cheer it up. 

Laugh, Laugh in different places, with different things, at different jokes. Laugh because it makes you feel good. Laugh because it cures you. 

Love. Love with all your heart. Love with every fiber in your body. Love the person next to you, love even if it hurts to. Never hold a grudge for too long and never hate after forgiving. Love. Just keep loving. 

Alex <3