I like a guy my best friend likes too

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Dear Alex,

Alright so I am in a bit of a pickle. There's this guy. He's funny, nice, cute and all those other good things. So you know, I have a crush on him. And I know what your thinking, 'what's the problem' right? Well my BEST FRIEND also likes him. But she doesn't know that I like him. Our whole friend group knows who she likes but no one knows who I like. And I am so crushing on this guy hard. So, my question is what should I do? Should I tell her that I like him or just leave him for her. Please I am in need of advice right now. I have no idea on what to do! Please please help me with this. 

Thanks,

Love-struck and confused.

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Dear Love-struck and confused, 

Okay, well my question is, who liked him first? Because if you liked him first then I would tell your friend that you like him, you could tell her even if you didn't like him first either, but if she liked him first than I think you should leave it alone. I say that because of the "girl code". But I think it's the right thing to do. I get it when you like a guy and your best friend does too. I've been in this situation 2 times. If the guy ends up picking you then your friend is going to be bewildered that you never told her that you liked him too. So to not complicate any friendship, you just tell her that. And if the guy chooses her, you shouldn't get all hurt about it, even tho I know you might, but just be happy with your friend. Things like this can make or break a friendship. It's tough but you have to do the right thing. I would sit her down and be like "hey, can we talk?" then "I have something to tell you and I don't want you getting mad at me and stuff but I like this guy... and that guy happens to be who you like too.." Then explain how that came to be. It's not much but honesty in a friendship earns you a lot of respect. I got mad at my friend for not telling me that she liked the same guy I did... so yeah, it stung when they started going out. Just learn to do the right thing. That's all I got to say. Oh and good luck with your friendship and this crush of your ^.^

Alex

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