She brought us together

CHAPTER 40

"Ma'am uGatsheni uthe uzomthola eofficini lakhe(said you will find him in his office)" says one of the helpers as soon as I emerge in the kitchen with a sleeping Nonjabulo. "Ohh okay" that caught me off guard I won't lie. "I will take her to her room" she says already taking her "okay" I say again. "Uhm is Miss Zanele here?" I ask,not sure I wanna argue with Nqobi in Zanele's presence. "No Sir came back alone" she's already on her way up.

I ended up not going to my mother's because I don't want to leave when things aren't good between him and I. I slowly close his office door and like a little girl being called up to the principal's office,I take my time with my head hung down walking to his table and take a seat. I don't like how's he's looking at me RN,the starring contest begins but because I'm an unfit contestant I look away. "Are you going to explain yourself or I should force it out of you?" His tone alone let's me know that I best start talking now or else...

"I'm not cheating on you with him" I start off and he doesn't react to my confession. "Did I accuse you of such?" He asks coldly,switching me off. I answer no feeling embarrassed,"manje mengithi zichaze(so when I say explain yourself) your first thought is cheating?" Okay his questions are infuriating me because he's being cold. "Lemme just tell you what's happening" I say "that's what I need to hear" again his voice is calm and emotionless.

"Uhm so a few weeks back Siyabonga called asking to meet up and I met with him a week later" he's boring holes into me with his eyes,guess that means I must continue. "He regrets not being the father that he needed to be and he knows that he cannot turn back the hands of time so..." Nqobi interrupts my rambling. "You are not telling me what I need to hear,all I'm hearing is that Siyabonga has regrets as if he's the first living being to have regrets or the last for that matter"

Nqobi is intimidating the shit of out of me,why is he having an attitude with me ankere I'm trying to explain,what better way than to start from the beginning. "Let me explain myself as per order" I say sarcastically only to earn a glare from him. I tell him everything, well Siyabonga's request and not my reply. "I hope you told him to go hell" he asks and I mentally scratch my head. Hhm how do I explain this...

"I agreed to let Nonjabulo visit his parents,he will also be there" I answer honestly. "And I wasn't told because?" He asks with a pained expression and I can't help but feel guilty. "Nqobi I want what's best for my daughter and knowing her family is what's best for her. I want her to have people to turn to when life gets tough,she might need them someday and me keeping her away from them isn't fair" I can't punish Siyabonga's parents for his sins,at the end of the day they didn't know.

"When we break up,it won't make sense for us to still be around you and your family. At the end of the day,your family owes us nothing,Nonjabulo is not a Ndlovu child by blood...there's really nothing that's bounding us together" I'm saying this to make him understand but seems like all I'm doing is hurt him.

"Ever thought of what could have happened if his wife could have children?" He finally speaks,yah I did and..."its okay Simphiwe,run back into the arms of the guy who shunned your pregnancy from the get go and disregard the feelings of the one who accepted and loved your child like his own" why is he speaking like this. I open my mouth to say something,anything that could take away the hurt I'm seeing in his eyes but he raises his hand to stop me.

"You are right,uwu nina walengane(you are the child's mother) and you know what's best for her,whatever decision you come up to I won't fight it." He stands up to leave,just one look at his face and I want to cry my eye balls out. I have never been so conflicted,mebethi (when they say) stuck between a rock and a hard place basho mina(they are referring to me). There's only one person who can knock some sense into my head and give me good advice...

"Nna kere ha le satla(I thought that y'all are no longer coming)" she says after opening the door for me,I have no words at the moment so I just walk in. I tell her that I left Nonjabulo at Nqobi's as she was sleeping and her housemates aren't here. Its no surprise that Dimakatso isn't here...she has an apartment which our brother pays for so she's sometimes here and sometimes there. My concern is magwane(aunty) maybe wajola(she's dating),she must have met an old man.

I lay my head on her lap and tell her everything from my encounters with Siyabonga to my talk with Nqobi. I'm crying because the more I replay his words,the more it feels like he was breaking up with me. "Why did you say WHEN we break up?" My mother asks emphasizing the word now that I'm done narrating my "baby daddy drama." "Because there's a possibility that we might break up" I answer looking and sounding confused,I mean what sort of a question is that...kemojolong mo therefore a happy ending isn't guaranteed.

"Well to me it sounds like you are not willing to commit into this relationship because you are just waiting for it to end" she softly says. Now that I think about my choice of words,I see how self-centered I sounded. I guess its true when they say that words can make or break. "Simphiwe..." Yeah when she calls me Simphiwe,you must know hore kentjeng (that I'm in deep shit). "...you can't except your relationship with Nqobi to flow with no bumps if you continue to put Siyabonga's feelings first." I open my mouth to dispute what she's saying but she shuts me up.

"Siyabonga is not a part of her life and that was his choice but Nqobi is and that too was by choice. You were so quick to give him a second chance without speaking to Nqobi,his opinion and feelings don't matter but Siya's do ankere(right)?" "No ma that's no true..." "On top of not telling him,you go on dates with Siyabonga,without his knowledge. Had him and Zanele not walked in on you,were you going to tell him?" She knows exactly that it wasn't a date I won't correct her because she's being a dramatic South Africa parent RN.

"Ngwanaka(my child) I understand your reasons but did you try to make Nqobi understand? The thing about you youngsters,you except people to turn into prophets and see what's in your heart and head. My girl you must use your mouth to get your point across. Ande wena kea u tseba ha o hlomphe(and I know that you lack respect),humble yourself hle Reamohetswe." Okay that was a mouthful.

"I don't know much about Nqobi,but what I can tell you is that he really does love my granddaughter. It takes a man to take another man's child under his care as his own worse if the father is still alive. Siya tried fighting for her but that did not faze Nqobi. We all don't know what tomorrow holds,if you break up. Ohh God forbid that it happens but what I'm saying my baby is that if things change then you will cross that bridge when you get to it. For now live today for today"

She goes on to quote Matthew 6:34 "therefore do not worry about tomorrow,for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." She went on to advice me about other things,in the midst of that she was scolding me of course for my behaviour and whatnot. Although I feel like somethings she says are unnecessary,I get what I came here for and more. I get to have heart to heart talks with her again,plenty of hugs and let's not forget the gossip.

"Where is he?" I whisper to myself while I walk tiredly around this big house. I don't know where else to look for him,I have checked the gym,the indoor pool,the cinema room,the mini bar and obviously his office was the first place I looked in. All the cars are accounted for,I could try the basement but I'm not sure if I want to see what's hidden behind those doors and besides I need a password to get through. Deciding to wrap up my search,I head to Nonjabulo's room.

I stand by the door so I don't disturb their moment,Nqobi is sitting on the rocking chair holding a sleeping Joy against his chest with one arm and a story book in the other. He's softly reading to her,someone tell him that she's sleeping. "Why are you looking at her like you are seeing her for the last time?" I ask trying to start a conversation and break the tension.

"That's because it might be the last time I'm seeing her and holding her like this" its supposed to be a joke but someone is catching feelings why...or maybe it was just a bad joke...too soon maybe?