She brought us together

CHAPTER 82

After a long drive from Westcliff to Sosha we finally arrive,yep you have guessed it...it was SILENT as well. The drive isn't normally this long...I feel that he drove really slow for a reason. I'm sitting in the backseat with Joy who's in her car seat. He is parked in front of my mothers garage,I get out of the car at the same time as him,he goes to get Nonjabulo. He's carrying her,I won't even bother helping him with the bags its my bags...I know but he's the man moes.

As I attempt to walk past him,I feel his fingers wrap themselves up around my forearm. He gently pulls me back,I don't stand directly in front of him,I move a bit back. Leaving space between us although he seems puzzled by my behaviour,he doesn't try to fill the space between us. I look down not being able to meet his gaze,"maNdlovu" he calls out to me lowly but in his deep voice. I stay silent,"mama" now he's commanding my attention which I give to him by simply lifting up my head.

His eyes soften when they stare down into mine and a sad smile finds its way on his lips. "Wena owa kwa Ndlovu,ngikukhiphe la ekhaya kini ngezinkomo" he says and much to my irritation I ask "manje?" with a little bit of attitude. "Manje ngoba yim okukhiphe kini kwamele kube yim futhi okubuyisela kini" I just look at him with nothing to say. And thats simply because angimuzwa ukuthi uthini lomfana mina.

"Mama angazi ukuthi kudumani la ekhanda lakho,angazi ukuthi ucabanga ukuthi kusho ukuthini lokho kodwa mina nawe sishadile and it shall remain like that for as long as we are both alive. I'm only returning you here to your mother's house because I understand that you need to heal,you need peace and you need some time away from me. I want you to heal,to be yourself again. I need you to be the woman that I fell in love with,the woman who I married,I need my lively wife back" as he speaks he's staring deep inside my eyes,his voice is soft yet it holds so much authority and confidence.

"Once you have healed and most importantly forgiven me,i will come back to fetch my life,my family." Well he has said a mouthful. "Nqobi I doubt that we will ever move on together from this" I honestly speak out. "We won't vele if we both aren't willing to forgive me" he says and his statement confuses me why are you speaking like a therapist,why do you need to forgive yourself? "I blame myself too for what happened. Knowing that my carelessness and stupidity has brought so much suffering to you kills me everyday. Not a day goes by without thinking of what you went through and that I'm reason for if. I understand your anger,I'm angry too. As it is I hate myself for this"

As I look at him,I see that he's closing himself off. I can see some emotions in his eyes but I can't quiet point out what emotions are these. I see that he's being sincere,that his words are spoken from a pained place. He sees that I don't know what to say hence my lack of response. "It won't happen overnight,I know. But please find it in your heart to forgive me. Ngiyaxolisa Magaduzela. Ngiyaxolisa Sibalukhulu,shwele Mdlovu" I take one deep breathe before looking away to wipe my tears. Do I have to cry now? In front of him!?

I attempt to walk away but he gently pulls me back to him again. "I'm sorry" he says with a pained voice,he draws in a deep breathe before continuing to speak. "I love you,ngiyakuthanda Simphiwe. Don't ever forget that. You are my pillar,my hope,my fortress,my life. My world literally revolves around you. I love you mama ka Simamukele and I will always do" by now his tears are freely falling down his cheeks. The Zulu in him,the indoda ayikhali in him must have been silenced today. I wipe away his tears "ngiyak'thanda nhliziyo yam" he says before kissing one of my hand as I'm drying his tears.

I only nod my head to show him that I have heard what he has said. He turns to look at Lil Missy who's probably wondering what's happening. "MaNdlovu omncane" he calls her and she says "baba?" "Ubaba uyakuthanda mntwana yam yezwa?" She nods her head Yes. "I will see you soon my baby. For now I need you to be a good girl for mommy nogogo neh?" "Uyaphi?" She inquires. "Angiyindawo,ubaba uzohlezi ekhona. I love you" "I love you too" shame they are so cute. "Give me a hug keh" he pretends to sulk and she happily hugs him. When he pulls away,he sets his eyes on me.