She brought us together

CHAPTER 83

"Knock,knock" I hear a knock on my bedroom door and groan in frustration. Thought I made it clear that I want to be left alone! "Knock,knock" the knocking persists. Why did I not lock the door? Just keep quiet and pretend to be sleeping,whosoever is at the door will eventually give up. Yah good idea. I sigh in relief when I don't hear any more knocking. My moment of "bliss" is short lived,I come to realise why the knocking had stopped. The person has opened my bedroom door and let themselves in.

"MaDlamini" hearing his voice makes me pull down my blankets quickly and turn in his direction. I just want to make sure that my ears aren't deceiving me. He closes the door with his leg,in his hands is a tray,a wooden tray that's filled with food. Must be the same food that I turned down when my mom came in about 10mins ago. I sit up against the headboard and watch him as he places the tray on top of my bed. He then goes to drag a chair to sit on. What is he doing here at this time? I think to myself as I see on my phone that its only a few mins after 7am.

Talk about ukuvukela emzini yabantu. "Sawubona mama" he greets respectfully in his ever so husky voice. As he's sitting on the chair,he has turned the chair around and put both elbows on the top part of it and faces me. "Yebo Gatsheni" I respond dryly. I'm honestly not in the mood shame. "Unjani?" He asks softly trying to ignore my grumpy mood. "What are you doing here?" I ask instead of answering him. Kodwa ngizothini? Lie and say that I'm Okay? "Thatha naku ukudla udle" he instructs,seems like we will be ignoring a lot of each other's questions today.

"Cha ngisuthi" I tell him. He looks at me for a minute or maybe longer without saying a word. He then slowly nods his head. "Can I tell you something?" He asks,his eyes begging me to say Yes. "Something about what?" I ask and he says,"something that will make you not hate me as much as you do now" he keeps quiet before adding "it won't change or erase what happened but it will give you an understanding of what really happened. Or at least thats what I'm hoping for" "khuluma Nqobi" thats what I say,all ears waiting for him to off load what's on his chest.

He tells me what happened when I was kidnapped,how the diamonds were stolen which led to him being hurt. So after rescuing me,they took Ruslan and everyone who was in the building captive,except Ivan of course because he had killed him. Ruslan,after being tortured,confessed to being the one who took those diamonds behind his father's back. He made sure to cut off all communication between him and Nqobi and not only them but with his father too. He wanted to take both the diamonds and me,knowing that he's dad would stick to his words and return me to Nqobi after getting what was due to him.

This explains alot,really it does. Ruslan was the one who suggested that they traffic me,he's the one who suggested that his father shouldn't go looking for Nqobi. Entlek,entlek this guy was doing an inside job,which he executed well. Okay almost well seeing that both him and his father are now dead and I'm alive and still in the country. So what I'm getting from what he's saying is that he tried his level best to save me,he didn't stop looking for me. Does knowing this make me feel better? Nah it doesn't...I'm very much still angry at him. And can I just say that his efforts weren't enough. No actually he should have been smart about this? Kanti isn't he a gangster,mxm.

As he's narrating the story,I keep my trap shut,only nodding my head here and there. There's no change in my facial expression. "How did you kill Ruslan?" I ask when he's done talking. "I shot him" he answers. "Yah but how did you torture him?" The only reason im asking,is to know if he did justice by me or not. "Are you sure that you want to know?" Can he stop treating me like some fragile thing! "I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't sure!" I snap at him. He raises his hands up to surrender. "Angilwi mawakhe." I sit still waiting for him to speak,"I obviously roughened him up a bit,no alot. Well I did nothing because of my injuries but my boys had fun with him."

"He went for days with no food,water or sleep. I brought in three men to-to do what they did to you..." "And what is that? What was done to me by three men?" I ask him,my mood has changed drastically,I'm angry. "Nqobi ngithe what was done to me,it has a name you know!" Im shouting at him and he swallows a bunch of nothings before scratching his head and looking down in shame. When he raises his head to look at me,I see a pool of tears clouding his vision. What is he crying for? He isn't the  one who was raped...I WAS!! "T-to rape him" he says with so much difficulty. "Yah Nqobi I was raped,no men did nothing to me,THEY RAPED ME! whether you say the word or not,it won't change the fact that I was RAPED!"

By now my tears are rolling down,I angrily wipe them away before telling him to continue. Them tiptoeing around this matter won't change a damn thing,it won't make me feel better and it definitely won't make me forget. "He was raped,by jailbirds. I wanted him to feel exactly how you felt. He bled so much and was weak but I asked Stitch to check him out,stop the bleeding and give him some vitamins and nutrients to get strength. He was raped again the following day by different men,that time around we didn't clean him up. He was left there to bleed and cry. I only granted him his death wish a day later"

Somehow knowing that Ruslan suffered an even worse fate than me makes me happy. Knowing that even tho he's dead,he got to feel what I felt. uNqobi ungilamulele shame. "Ngicela udle Phiwe" he pleads softly,disturbing the silence that had fallen upon us. "I don't want to eat" I tell him. "Please eat" he says a bit harsh this time. "You clearly don't want to be here,so get out instead of forcing me to eat" I say with an attitude. "Simphiwe ukhumbule ukuthi awudleli wena wedwa,usuthi wena kodwa ingane yam yona?" He's trying to not shout at me. I don't answer him nor show him the tiniest bit of attention.

"Simphiwe you can't starve my baby!" Now he shouts and surprisingly I don't flinch like I normally would. I look at his grown ass unfazed and bored as he throws tantrums. "I'm begging you,can you please eat. I don't want to fight with you. MaDlamini ngiyakucela" "iyhoo!" I exclaim before bringing the tray close to me and start eating.

"Then she says that she wasn't hungry" he teases,cleaning up. By cleaning up I mean that he wipes my hands clean and the sides of my mouth then he tidily puts the plates and cutlery on the tray. I finished eating my breakfast and fruit salad,my stomach is full yho. Remind me to thank my mom for the delicious meal. "I want to sleep now" I honestly say as a yawn escapes my lips. "Okay Good night keh" he says with a shrug. "Manje are you going to stay here?" I ask with my eyebrows knitted together. "Yes but I can leave if you want me to" he says looking at my face,probably trying to figure out if I want him to leave or stay. "I don't mind,when I have a nightmare,please wake me up" my sad tone gives it away but as I say this I'm absentminded.

When I close my eyes,I hear him call out to me. "Mmmh?" I groan out a reply. "Can I?" I open my eyes to see what this "can I" is. He's asking to join me on the bed,"no you can't sleep here" i half shout. "Well I wasn't thinking that far ahead but if thats..." He has a goofy smile on his face as he speaks ever so casually. "No!" I interrupt him and he breaks into a fit of laugher,did I mention that his laughter is contagious because I find myself laughing along with him. "I was asking if I can hold you as you sleep?" He says now that we are done laughing.

With hesitation,which he notices but doesn't push it. I agree. He takes off his shoes and climbs onto the bed. He sits and places a pillow on his lap which he says I must lay my head on. I do that, "can I run my fingers across your skull and massage you as you fall asleep?" He's on some CAN I drug today. I nod my head Yes and he does as he he wishes. I moan out in delight...this is relaxing. I'm slowly drifting off to lala land,in fact I am half way there when I suddenly remember...

"When I wake up can I not find you here" it may sound like a question but fact of the matter is that I'm telling him not asking. He stops massaging my skull and silence fills the room. I turn my head to look up at him. I carefully look at his face trying to decide what emotion do I see on his face,after struggling I finally decide to settle for shock. Yah he must be shocked,he wasn't expecting me to say this...he is not angry. He can't be angry...that would be crazy neh? Just because I'm laughing with him,it doesn't mean that I have forgotten or forgiven him. And me staying here must be a clear indication that I want to be away from him.

"Is that what you want? To not find me here when you wake up?" He asks an obvious question. "Yes but keep on massaging me" I tell him. "I feel used yaz,like some one night stand that you don't want to find in your house in the morning" he's tone is void of any emotion. "Well worry not because you aren't. Nothing is going to happen here besides you massaging me and making sure to disappear after I have fallen asleep." He doesn't respond to this. He then starts softly singing some Maskandi love song...his beautiful voice is the last thing I hear before surrendering to sleep.