She brought us together

CHAPTER 108

I open the door,before Nqobi parks the car. I get out of the car and march towards the front door. Zee,Katso and Cebo are driving into our yard with their cars. Since we left the hospital,no one has uttered a word. Ku tense,people have red,teary eyes but me. Me the mother of the child,I'm supposed to be wailing the loudest but I'm not. No single tear can be dictated. When I get inside the house,Ntloso attacks me with a hug and I hug him back. Sis Getty is here too,meaning that MaMavis did call her. She gives me Niso and says "he has been restless" I thank her. "How is she?" "What happened to her,is she okay" both sisi Getty and Mam Mavis ask me. I look into their eye and walk away with my two babies.

They were three,they were three musketeers and now they are only two. I can't believe that from now onwards I will speak about her in the past tense. My one and only princess has fallen into a deep slumber that not even a prince charming can kiss her awake from it.

I get inside my bedroom,Ntlos'entle throws himself on my bed while I take the couch with Nkanyiso on my lap. Both my boys are quiet,I'm starring into space. Thinking back to that feeling I experienced and how I just knew what it means. "Mama?" Ntloso calls out to me. "Uphi uNonjabulo?" Tears cloud his vision. I look at him for a second before calling him to come sit next to me and he does. I don't answer his question,I just pull him in for a hug and as if already knowing the answer he cries. As he cries noNkanyiso starts to cry and I try to calm them both down. Nqobi walks in with bloodshot eyes. He stands there looking at us,you can tell that he doesn't know what to do with himself so I call him too for a group hug.

Our group hug lasts for a while. When we pull away "baba ukuphi uJoy?" He's now asking his dad. Nqobi and I look at each other,wondering 'what now?' Do we tell him the truth nakhona how do we deliver this truth? Nqobi sits him on his lap,they stare at each other for awhile. Yes Ntloso is Nqobi'child like that,from his looks,to the way he behaves,to how he's quiet and reserved  down to how he stares. Ohh and he can sing as well just like his father. "Ungilalele?" Nqobi asks him as they are still starring into each other's eyes. Ntloso nods his head multiple times.

"Usisi wakho akaseko emhlabeni" Nqobi tells Ntloso. They both turn to look at me at the same time. Nqobi is looking at me for help while Ntloso wants confirmation. "UNonjabulo ushonile" saying this leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It sounds so wrong to say this but its reality and I will just have to deal with it.  Ntloso shows no reaction to the news. "Do you know what that means?" I ask thinking that he doesn't understand what I am talking about.

"It means that we will never see her again. That she went to heaven,she's now an angel" he says without crying. And his dad and I nod our heads at what he says. After some time of silence,no one has said anything,Ntloso puts his head on Nqobi chest and releases a painful cry. He wails that my heart breaks for him. I see Nqobi wiping away his own tears before comforting Ntloso.

Morning comes and I haven't stepped foot in her room. I have accepted that she's gone but I can't bring my heart to accept it. We barely slept last night. Dimakatso was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night. Apparently her blood pressure is too high,she's at a risk of losing the baby and that's the last thing we need as a family. One fallen angel is enough. Nqobi went to the hospital with her and bab'mncane while Zee stayed me. They left for the hospital futhi early this morning to go check up on her,with MaNdlovu who arrived today at dawn.

When I get to the kitchen I find my mom making tea,she quickly sets her mug down and rushes to hug me. She's busy rubbing my back and encouraging me to  "let it all out" lapho I'm just standing there not even hugging her back. "How is she?" I ask about my sister once we have pulled apart. "She will be okay,she just needs to stop stressing." She tells me and I nod my head. "How are you holding up ngwanaka?" She asks,with tears streaming down her cheeks. I wipe away her tears before telling her that "I'm fine." "Did you sleep?" She looks concerned about me but also she pities me. I shake my head no. "Niso one a lla bosiu kahofela" I say her.