AN INDIAN GIRLS SACRIFICE

Chapter 26

I sat in my room the rest of the day, trying to finish my book and also keep myself occupied. I was running out of ideas to keep myself busy.

After Asr I got dressed for the dinner party, I was going with Fawaaz bhai and Zafar. Bhabhi and Zuhair bhai went to help so they left after lunch.

Before we left my Abba warned me to stay with my Ammi at all times. I knew this was going to be one long painful evening, I just had to plaster a huge smile on my face and go with the flow.

When we got there Uncle Mohammed and Aunty Sharifa were at the entrance welcoming all the guests. Nuwal bhabhi and Zuhair bhai were attending to all the guests inside.

"Assalaam-u-alaikum, how are you Siddiqi Saab?"

"Walaikum Salaam, Alhamdulillah Allah has been great and with you Khalil Saab?"

"Good Good."

"Please come in bhai Saab," says Aunty Sharifa.

My Ammi sees a few of her friends and walks up to them, I obviously have no choice but to follow suit. It wasn't even 15 minutes and I was already tired of hearing about married people's problems.

Fawaaz bhai noticed that I was annoyed so he asked my Ammi permission for me to join him and Zafar. My Ammi warned him not to leave me alone for a second.

At our table Nuwal bhabhi's brother and sister Fayaaz and Faheema joined us. After dinner I asked Fawaaz bhai to drop me off at home.

When I got home, I changed into my pj's and hopped into bed. The house phone rings, it's Zayaan, I look at the time and it's 11pm, what could be wrong that he called so late?

"Assalaam-u-alaikum."

"Walaikum Salaam, how you doll?"

"I'm okay, What's up? You calling this late?" I ask concernedly.

"Nothing, I just haven't spoken to you in days so I called Fawaaz and he said you were at home alone. Is everything okay?"

"Jee everything is okay. Just tired so I came home early from the dinner party."

"You don't sound like you want to speak to me or like I'm disturbing you, am I?"

"No not at all. Just not in the mood for anything."

"So something is wrong! Please tell me what is wrong, I want to be there for you, if not as a fiance then as a friend at least."

"You know you can't fix everything. Now just leave me alone," I say irritably and cut the call.

The phone rings a few times after but I ignored it, I jumped into bed and cried for no reason. I think it was a build up of emotions from the past week or month.

I am a very emotional person but can never express myself infront of others. I usually don't get upset very easily, I don't know why I took off with Zayaan.

Why do I keep getting myself into situations where I end up hurting others and then apologise. This is not me, what has gotten into me?

I hear cars pull up the driveway and then the front door open. Someone comes up to my room and opens the door, I pulled the blanket over me and pretended to be asleep.

The gleam of light shone in through the gaps of the curtains, I open my eyes to sunlight hitting me gently on my face. As I got up and sat on my bed the thoughts of last night's conversation hit me.

I'm feeling guilty for taking off with Zayaan, he has been nothing but nice to me and all I've ever done was be horrible to him. I need to change my behaviour towards him.