AN INDIAN GIRLS SACRIFICE

Chapter 45

When Abba and Zuhair bhai got back it was dinner time already. Abba looked happy, after so many days today is the first time I have seem my Abba smile. Zuhair bhai looked worried though, bhabhi asked him but he said he was okay. Maybe he was just tired.

We ordered dinner and sat upstairs in the presidential suite and ate. It was nice to sit as a family and have a meal, just the Siddiqi's.We laughed so much, it's been a while since we've sat together and laughed.

Today made me realise how important family is. We sometimes wish we never had family because we want things our way but I always want my family by my side.

When I went to my room there was a box on the bed, I thought to myself, "here we go again, he thinks he can buy me gifts and I will forgive him."

There was no card, no note or anything that indicated who it was from. I opened the box and inside was a note, just a note in such a big box. It was from Zayaan though so I wasn't that wrong.

Amaani,

As always I've screwed up and realised it too late, I'm once again asking for your forgiveness. I can't guarantee that I will not hurt you again but I will try my best. I can promise you that I will not associate with such friends who take me away from my responsibilities, my family, my love and more importantly my deen.

I would like to see you please. I will be waiting for you tomorrow at the restaurant at 10am for breakfast.

I love you.
Zayaan.

I have forgiven Zayaan a long time ago, I wanted him to realise that what he did was wrong and he did but I don't know whether to go for breakfast or not. I don't want him to think he can always apologise and then get away with his wrong doings.

I changed into my pj's, hopped into bed and decided to message bhabhi for advise. I know she will have some idea as to what I should do. After our conversation we decided I should go for breakfast and see how he behaves so I know if he is sincerely apologetic or not.

Fawaaz bhai knocked on my room door, he called out, Aasaalaatu Khaayrum Minan-Nauum." ( Prayer is better than sleep), I got out of bed, made wudhu and read my salaah.

I couldn't go back to sleep, I don't know why but I kept thinking of Imraan's change in behaviour when he heard I was engaged to Zayaan. He looked as if he knew a secret about Zayaan.

Zayaan and I haven't spoken about our past or about anything besides our present because we both know that this marriage is a compromise so there's no need to get too close.

My alarm went on, reminding me it's 9am and I should get ready. I took a quick shower and got ready, I messaged Zuhair bhai to let him know that I wouldn't be joining them for breakfast but would meet them afterwards.

A few minutes before 10am I went down to the restaurant. Zayaan was already there waiting for me, he was busy on his phone when I got to the table. The waiter pulled a chair for me, I sat down and waited for Zayaan to finish.

"Assalaam-u-alaikum, it's so good to see you, how are you doing?"

"Walaikum Salaam, Alhamdulillah I'm doing good and you?"

"I'm good after seeing you."

"So why did you want to meet?"

"Doll I wanted to apologise to you."

"You did that in your note."

"I know but I wanted to make sure you forgive me."

"Oh so you don't trust me. Well it doesn't really matter, not like we in a real relationship."

"Doll don't say that. I know you don't deserve what I'm putting you through. I wish things are different, I want things to be different. I want us to be a real couple, I want things to change."

"How can you expect all that. I have told you before that we can never be a real couple. I know Aahil has hurt me also but I still love him and always will love him only. I can't imagine loving anyone else. I told you this before, you know that we only getting married for our families. This is why I gave you the option of a second wife."

"Amaani! Please I've told you before I don't want a second wife. I want you as my wife, why are you making it so difficult."

"And you've made it easy for me? Since the day you walked into my life, my whole world has turned upside down. I have lost everything that has meaning to me."

"I don't know what to say, I can't bring that back and I'm not saying it's your fault but it's not mine either. It's all the plan of the Almighty. Sometimes I feel you too harsh on me. You not seeing me as a good person because you've made up your mind to see me as an evil person. It clouds your judgement alot of times and you only see me as wrong."

"Maybe you right but what about all the times you were wrong?"

"Why are you dwelling in the past? Tell me something if you don't see our relationship as a real one and you don't accept me why are you so worried about what I do? Why does it bother you so much or hurt you so much when I do something?"

"Zayaan I'm human, with anyone I would have felt hurt. What you do doesn't bother me, what bothers me is when you hurt me, my family and your family. Maybe we should just stop expecting things from each other and from now on we should only meet when our families are meeting and when we have a function and on our wedding day."

"I have apologised after my mistakes. You should forget about them. Please don't put our relationship through such a strain, we should meet to understand each other."

"Why should we understand each other and what relationship you talking about?"

"Because we going to be living together, the relationship we share, whether it's love, friendship or just humanity. Sometimes I fail to understand you, one minute you want this relationship to work for your family and then the next minute you don't want to have a relationship with me."

"I think we dragging this too far now. We need to come to some sort of agreement and stick to it. We need to set boundaries."

"I get the agreement but what boundaries? Are you going to be nasty to me again?"

After a lengthy discussion we came to an understanding. Zayaan has promised never to do anything that would hurt his family or mine or hurt me. He also made a promise that he will think twice before he does anything and that he will not keep such friends who can't lead him on to the straight path.

The root to our fights or most of them is Zayaan's repeated mistakes. If he can sort that out we can have a very good understanding. I'm not interested in what he did in his past or what he does now. All I want is for him to respect his relationships with others and with me.

I'm glad we sorted things out although I missed out half a day with my family. When I called bhabhi to find out where they were, she said they were leaving one of Abba's friends house and were going to start the tour of our hotels.

When I got to the hotel they were already there, I told Bhabhi what happened at the meeting. She was glad we came to an understanding. She told me that we were invited to Uncle Bilal's for dinner.

I wasn't looking forward to being left alone with Imraan again. I was hoping that my Abba had no meeting plans this time. We finished our tour and went straight to Uncle Bilal's house.

When we got there, non of his children were around, I was pleased. I didn't understand much of their talks, the seemed baseless and boring.

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This is a bonus post for all you lovely people.