AN INDIAN GIRLS SACRIFICE

Chapter 91

I sat by the window, watching the sunrise, tears trickled down my cheeks as I was lost in thoughts, I didn't realise Ammi was besides me. She placed her hand on my shoulder letting me know that everything was going to be okay, I turned around and hugged her.

"Don't stress yourself too much, whatever is meant to be will happen."

"I know Ammi, it's much more difficult this time as the decision is up to me. If I choose to go back or stay is up to me but I don't know what to do."

"I suggest you turn to Allah, only Allah has the answers for you. We here just to support you, we can't give you straight answers."

"Not everyone is going to be happy with my decision."

"Amu only you have to be happy with your decision, not anyone else."

"Ammi don't you think I'm being selfish if I only think about myself? I want to be with Zayaan, he is the man I married but I don't know if I can live with him having another wife."

"It's not selfish, not all of us are ready to accept polygamous marriages. Maybe speak to Raeesa and see what she has to say, does she want to be in a polygamous marriage, what are her feelings."

Ammi left me thinking that this is not only about me, yes I have to be happy but I don't have to make my family happy. The three of us who are going to be affected by this relationship need to be happy and willing to live such a life.

I have never been around anyone who is in a polygamous marriage so I don't know what to expect. I've read about it but it's not the same as hearing real life experiences.

Today was my first prenatal appointment, I was really nervous at first but Ammi was with me so I calmed down a bit. I thought about telling Zayaan but I know he would have wanted to come with me and I didn't want him to.

When we got home Zayaan was waiting for me in my room, bhabhi said that he has been waiting for a while already. He was suppose to message me before he came. I hope no one told him where I was.

"Assalaam-u-alaikum, sorry for making you wait."

"Walaikum Salaam, it's okay,  where have you been?"

"At the doctor."

"All okay I hope?"

"Jee everything is perfect, it was actually my first appointment today. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I didn't want you to come with."

"Doll but why? I'm still your husband, I'm the father of your child, has things gone so wrong between us that you so uncomfortable with me."

"I told you I need time, I'm sorry I'm not doing this on purpose, it's just how I feel."

"I don't know what to say, I'm upset definitely but I guess I put myself into this position even if it was unknowingly."

I thought about my conversation with Ammi this morning and decided to discuss it with Zayaan. I suggested he speak to Raeesa and see how she feels and then we can make a decision.

He wasn't very happy about it because he doesn't want to be with her, he got upset with me and left the room.I tried explaining to him but he refused to listen. He didn't want to include her in any of our decisions. I don't know how we going to go on like this.

May I come in?" Aahil asks casually.

"Jee come in."

"How you feeling today?"

"I'm okay, uhm I'm sorry for yesterday, I was upset with Zayaan and I took it out on you."

"You don't have to apologise, I over reacted."