AN INDIAN GIRLS SACRIFICE

Chapter 99

I got ready and went downstairs to make breakfast, Zayaan was sitting at the kitchen counter looking at some papers.

I didn't say a word to him knowing that nothing I said would make him feel better. I didn't want to get involved in anything that had to do with her.

I know it sounds selfish because he needs my support now but if I do at the end I am going to be blamed for poisoning his mind. I want him to make all the decisions on his own.

After breakfast I went to Tasneem to drop off the baking and to help her with some last minute shopping for the engagement.

It was an excuse to get away from Zayaan at least for a few hours, maybe by then he will have answers to all his problems.

"What a lovely surprise, I'm really sorry to hear about your Nani," Aadil says sympathetically.

"Thanks, remember her in your duas."

"So how have you been?"

"I'm good."

"You don't look good, anything I can help with? Or are we no longer friends that's why you don't want to say."

"It's nothing like that. I think everyone knows what is happening in my life, there's no privacy since Zayaan and Raeesa got married. I'm just trying to live with it, what else can I do."

"I wish I could say I understand, but we are always here for you. Last I heard he gave her divorce papers."

"He did but it obviously won't end there, I think she wants something out of his estate. I'm not really getting involved."

"Don't you think you should fight for what is yours."

"I don't want any of it, I didn't marry him for money."

"So you going to let her take it all."

"If that's what she wants to leave us alone, why should we fight with her and prolong her stay in our lives."

"You have a point there, have you spoken to Zayaan about this."

"No, I don't want to influence his decisions and then be blamed for it."

"I'm not going to say that's a good idea but if that's how you want it, I guess it should be okay then."

After a lengthy conversation with Aadil, Tasneem and I left to go shopping, we ended up having lunch at a very cosy restaurant near the beach.

Her inlaws are coming over tonight to discuss a few things with her family about the engagement and their family. She is very nervous about it, like me she hates confrontations.

With engagements and weddings it's always the case when there's a little confrontation there is always someone taking up the opportunity to separate the couple.

Zayaan tried calling me a few times, I didn't answer his calls. We haven't spoken since this morning and I don't have anything to say to him.

I didn't want him to worry where I was so I messaged to let him know that I was okay and that I would be home late.

Zayaan: "Can you not come home earlier, we need to sort out some things," he replied to my message. 

Me: "If it's about your divorce with Raeesa then I don't want to be involved. You decide what you feel is right. I was and will never be after your estate so if she takes it all it doesn't affect me."

Zayaan: "Please just come home. I need you by my side right now, don't ignore me for something that is not my fault."

I didn't want to leave Tasneem in the nervous state she was in but I knew if I didn't go home, I would be making matters worst between Zayaan and I.

I didn't want to just leave so I went up to Tasneem's room and told her that I had to leave but I was just a call away if they needed anything.

When I got home Zayaan was on the floor in the living room, his head placed against the coffee table and his hands holding onto his head.

"Babes."

"She wants 50% of everything I own but how can I give it to her when only you have a right to what is mine."

"Babes you know…"

"Yeah I know you don't want to speak about her but what should I do."

"Give her what she wants, why do you want to fight with her and prolong her stay in our lives. I don't want anything, if she wants everything let her take it. Speak to Abba and see what he says."

"I've worked so hard for what I have and she is just going to take it away."

"Babes it is all material things which you can get anytime. Maybe she feels she needs to secure herself now that she is going to be alone."

"Did she think my memory would never come back and I would be with her forever."

"Maybe that is what she really thought or hoped for. I suggest you speak to Abba about this, he is the eldest in the family and he will give you the best advise."

I made his favourite milo milkshake to cheer him up, he is really stressed and worried about our future. I know he feels his estate is a means of security for our future but it is worldly things that can be attained again.

We sat there for a while in silence lost in our own thoughts. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes reminiscing all the good times we had.

It seems like it was such a long time ago since happiness knocked at our door. I don't think we both are enjoying the moments of joy that our baby is bringing.

I just hope that before our baby is born all this is sorted out and we can give our full attention and love to our baby. I don't want my child to be born and we still fighting for our happiness.

My phone rang, it was just a few minutes past 10pm. It was Tasneem, she called to let me know how the evening went.

"Amu everything went off so well, thanks to you my mother in law loved the gift you chose. She was so impressed she didn't complain about anything or put forward any demands."

"I'm glad everything went well, I told you she would love the gift."

"What's wrong Amu? You don't sound okay?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired. You made me run around the whole day."

"Oh I'm so sorry, I was so excited about today that I forgot you need to take care."

"Relax I'm just kidding."

"You sure you okay? Must I come over?"

"No don't, I m really doing fine. Maybe I just sound tired. Anyways I'm going to get some sleep so I'll chat to you tomorrow."

"Okay, take care."

Zayaan and I went up to the room, he was behaving a little strange all of a sudden. He didn't want to sleep on the bed next to me.

It hurt me, I felt like he was distancing himself from me all of a sudden. What changed in the last few hours that I'm not aware of.

I laid in bed as tears uncontrollably rolled out, I felt so lonely and confused. I wanted answers but I was too afraid to ask. I didn't want to upset Zayaan or create a new problem.

"Are you okay doll?"

"I'm okay."

"Why do I get a sense that you crying? I heard you sniff a few times."

"It's nothing, I'm just tired so with all the yawning my eyes are watering."

"You sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure."

"I hope you not upset that I'm not sleeping on the bed, it's not that I don't want to but I need to clear my head."

"It's okay."

It wasn't okay but I wasn't going to tell him. I don't have the energy for an argument or to sit and listen to excuses and justifications.