AN INDIAN GIRLS SACRIFICE

Chapter 42

Everyone left the room besides Zayaan and I, we never expected our families not to agree, I envisioned my siblings at least trying to convince the parents but it turned out that non of them want us to take this step.

This is a bigger hurdle than we thought, I'm thankful that things didn't turn out worse, like our parent's being upset with each other. Maybe we expecting too much from our family members.

"Doll do you think they ever going to agree? I sometimes question if we doing the right thing, maybe our families are right, we haven't even started living our own lives and we want to give a life to a child. I don't know if I'm ready to be a parent."

"Are you saying that you don't want to take custody of Azaad? I thought you said you want children of your own and soon."

"Yes but not so soon, maybe a year or two after we get married. I don't know if we the right people to ask. Maybe we should sit with Nafeesa and see if there isn't another way. We don't mind paying for his education and seeing to his needs but taking responsibility of him is a big decision."

"Maybe you need time to think about it. I get the concern from our parent's and I know it's frightening. Let's do as you said we meet up with Nafeesa and see what she says and tell her our dilemma. Maybe she can help make this easier."

"I don't know doll but it's worth a try."

Bhabhi informed me that my parent's wanted to speak to me and were waiting for me in their room. I left Zayaan in the lounge and went up to the room my parent's were staying in.

"Abba wanted to see me," I say cautiously as I walked into the room.

"Yes, Amu what is all this? When did you agree to accepting someone else's child? I have so many questions I want to ask but before I do I want to let you know that we will never agree to you doing this. If Zayaan agrees to accept his sisters son then I will call off this wedding. No one will point fingers at me because the Malik's will be going against their word not me."

"Abba I know that you have chosen Zayaan for me and no matter what I will be marrying him even though my heart is with someone else. So when he asked me I had to agree, I have no choice but to accept his condition because whether I said yes or no he can bring this child into our house and there's nothing I can do. We all know this marriage is a compromise for me so one more compromise won't change anything."

"Amu, you never wanted children so early in life you always had clear goals. You want to study and build your career, so where does this child fit. If you not able to give this child a good life he will blame you. Remember he is not your blood and wouldn't think twice to go against you. What will happen when you have children of your own?"

"Ammi I don't have answers to all the questions, all I know is that Zayaan needed my help and needed me to agree so I did so. He is going to be my husband and you always told me that a woman should obey and respect her husband and his decisions."

"Beta this is different. Your Nanu is very hurt, he never expected you to sacrifice your career. He has so many dreams for you. You do know that."

"I don't know what to say, I feel torn between Zayaan and our families and I don't know who to support."

"I would have told you to follow your heart but we all know it's not possible at this moment and this decision can't be made with your heart."

"I only have one thing to ask, please do not take this out on Zayaan. He is already very tensed, behave normal with him. I've never asked Ammi or Abba for anything because I'm always given things before I can ask for them, but this time I'm asking for this one thing. Let us enjoy our holiday here and then we can think what we can do. Zayaan  and I are trying to see if there are other ways."

"Okay beta we won't say anything to him but we won't stand and watch you ruin your life."

"Abba I won't do anything you not happy about."

As I walked out of the room, I saw Tabassum waiting in the hallway. A few of Zayaan's friends were here so he was calling me to meet them. I quickly went to my room and freshened up before I went to the lounge.

As I walked into the lounge, Zayaan walked up to me, he put his hand around my waist and we walked up to his friends. He introduced me to all of them, I felt a bit awkward since I was the only lady in the room. I excused myself and went up to my room.

Uncle Gulaam made dinner plans at a restaurant for everyone. He informed us an hour before he planned on leaving so we all got ready and left to the restaurant.

Zayaan didn't join us, he wasn't up to it so his parent's left him. I was a bit disappointed because it was our first night here and he hasn't spent much time with my family.

Our families took advantage of the opportunity and tried to speak to me about taking custody of Azaad. Everyone is against it and has very strong feelings about it. 

I heard what everyone had to say and told them what was on my mind. Aunty Hasina was sitting next to me, she saw me looking at my phone every few minutes. I was hopeful that Zayaan would change his mind and join us but he didn't. I found it rude and inconsiderate. How could he do this?

When we got home, everyone sat outside in the backyard, bhabhi and I helped Aunty Hasina make tea for everyone. Tonight's dinner changed everyone's mood so I was glad we went out.

Zayaan wasn't at home, Aunty Hasina tried calling him but he wouldn't answer. I could see she was feeling bad that Zayaan wasn't around. As soon as bhabhi left the kitchen I spoke to Aunty Hasina about Zayaan.

"Don't worry about it, my family won't feel bad, it's okay that his not here."

"No it's not okay, he knows he has responsibilities but he ignores them. I don't want you to get married to him and after finding out about his lifestyle you feel we cheated you. Zayaan is never home, all those friends you saw today are a bad influence on him. He stays out till late, he's never around for family functions or even to sit with his family for a meal."

"I can't ask him to change his habits because I gave him my conditions and one of them is that we live separate lives. I don't want him to feel I'm trying to control him. If Aunty Hasina wants I can try to speak to him about it and try to make him see how he is hurting his family."

"No beta don't do that. He will unnecessarily get angry at you. I don't want him to take out his anger on you and fight with you."

"I don't mind as long as he sees his wrong."

"We've tried speaking to him but he doesn't care, he told us that we can't rule his life. He even threatened to leave this house after he gets married."

"He always told me that we staying separate. He never mentioned staying here. I think he even bought a house because he asked Zuhair bhai once to send me to see a house with him but I refused to come. I'm really sorry Aunty Hasina if I knew I would have stopped him."

"It's not your fault Amaani, my son has never wanted to stay with us. He probably sees this as an opportunity to get out. He hasn't always been like this, it's recently when he made these friends. He started misbehaving with his father, back answering,  coming late at night and throwing tantrums. I'm sorry I should have told you before, there's no excuse but we thought he would change once he got engaged but it's gotten worse."

Bhabhi came back to the kitchen to get the other goodies. I helped her take everything to the garden, it was passed 11pm and Zayaan was not home. I messaged him once to ask him where he is and if he is okay but he didn't reply.

By the time everyone decided to go sleep it was pass 1am. Zayaan was still not home, I think it was bothering my Abba all this time but he didn't say anything. Just before we got up to go sleep, my Abba asked about Zayaan's whereabouts.

Uncle Gulaam told my parent's the truth. I liked that about the Malik's they never hid their children's wrong actions. They never lied to cover up for their children. My Abba was upset but didn't say anything.