AN INDIAN GIRLS SACRIFICE

Chapter 115

Two days and no news from Zayaan, Tabassum messaged me yesterday and told me he has been staying there for the past two days.

This has never happened before so I didn't know how to react or what to do. I thought about it and decided to call him and apologise.

I also asked him to come back home, all this bickering wasn't healthy for us or Zayana. I had to keep my family together, that's my only job and here I am taking mine apart.

As soon as he entered I felt relieved that he had returned. I apologised over and over again. I made a promise never to ask about his past again.

I don't know if it was right thing to do but he was back and I want our relationship to work and that's all that mattered.

He seemed different, I felt some sort of distance between us and he kept typing away on his phone. I didn't know if I should ask or just leave it but decided on the latter.

I guess I was going to be ignoring every mistake of his just so I can have peace in my marriage. I know it's not healthy because at the end I'm the one getting affected by it.

While we were at the dinner table Zayaan handed me a envelope, I didn't know what to expect but only the worse came to mind.

"What is this?" I asked apprehensively.

"Open it, you will enjoy this surprise."

I opened the envelope to tickets to a holiday in Malaysia. I knew exactly what this was, another one of his ways to buy me out of my worries over his past.

"This is lovely but I'm not really up for a holiday. Maybe some other time."

"Is everything okay doll."

"Yeah everything is fine. I'm thinking of going back to studying so I don't think a holiday right now is so good. I've submitted my application already."

"Oh wow when did this happen?"

"While you were away."

"So when do you start?"

"Next week."

"Great let me know if I can help anywhere and the nanny is here to take care of Zayana."

"I got rid of the nanny."

"What? Why?"

"I didn't need her anymore."

"How are you going to manage?"

"I will figure out something," I said as I walked away.

For the next few days Zayaan was really sweet, maybe too sweet, I never asked any questions and our conversations became minimal. 

It's the weekend and I wanted to spend time with my family before I started uni again so Zayaan booked a flight for Zayana and I.

He said he had a case to work on and he couldn't accompany us. I didn't mind because I wanted some time away from him.

Zuhair bhai fetched us from the airport, he looked troubled. I asked him about it but he didn't answer, he turned his attention to Zayana.

When I got home everyone was there besides Fawaaz bhai and Nosheen bhabhi. At first I thought they probably went out so I didn't ask but when it was already time for dinner and no one mentioned them I asked.

"They don't stay here anymore and we don't have anything to do with them and it's not up for discussion," Abba said sternly.

Abba's say has always been final and non of us have ever had the courage to detest his decisions so I didn't say a word to enquire.

Once we were done with dinner and Bhabhi and I were alone in the kitchen I asked her what happened but she was no help.

She just said that Abba doesnt want anyone speaking about them. Why didn't anyone tell me? I somehow felt the same I felt when I am with Zayaan, betrayed.

This was suppose to be my weekend away to relax my mind and away from stress but it's more stressful in this house.

I called the manager of our hotel in town and asked the manager to keep a room for myself. I couldn't handle all this tension and secrets from everyone.

I needed to get away, I called myself a cab because I didn't want anyone to know I was leaving and asking to borrow their car would be doing just that.

While everyone was busy in their rooms I snuck out like a teenager, once I got to the hotel I asked the manager not to let anyone from my family know I was around. 

It was strange but Zayaan didn't call once since I arrived here. I messaged him when I landed and a little after that to see how he was doing and he didn't reply.

I contemplated for a while then gave in and called him, it rang a few times and then went to voicemail. I called home and one of the staff said he wasn't home.

I didn't want to be a nuisance so I left it, I switched off my phone and decided not to care since no one else did.

This weekend was going to be only about Zayana and I. Even if I just sat in my room and relaxed and watched tv the whole weekend I wouldn't mind.

Zayana was in her own world  fast asleep, I changed into my pj's and got I to bed and browsed to the channels. Finally I found a movie that I got interested in.

It was difficult for me to be so carefree and selfish but I felt so tired of being made to feel like I was the problem or like everyone needed to protect me.

Everyone either lies or brushes the topic away, no one in my family will tell me what happen and how did Fawaaz bhai end up leaving and where did they go to and Zayaan, I never know these days when he is lying to me or speaking the truth.

I feel like I'm drowning and there's no true person to save me. Maybe Papa can tell me what happened, he has never lied to me before.

I had to visit Papa tomorrow and find out what was the story. Maybe if I spend sometime with them I would feel better and I know knowing the truth would make me feel at peace.