AN INDIAN GIRLS SACRIFICE

Chapter 16

Fawaaz bhai knocks on my door like he does every morning, I woke up for fajr and prayed my salaah. I am still upset about last night so I decide to just lay in bed. I message Fathima one last time trying to make things right, she reads my message but doesn't reply which makes me feel even more miserable.

I remember that today is the Malik's last day by us, they leave tomorrow morning. I knew my parent's would not be too happy if I didn't come out of my room so I got out of bed, took a shower, got dressed put on one of my fake smiles and headed downstairs. Everyone was awake and already downstairs, I walked into the kitchen, made myself breakfast.

From the noise in the dinning room I figured they were still talking about the engagement so I sat in the kitchen and had my breakfast. Zafar and Zayaan walked into the kitchen just as I got started on breakfast. Zayaan told Zafar to go back to the dinning room but not to tell anyone that I was in the kitchen. He grabbed my hand and took me upstairs. We went into my room, he made me sit on the couch.

"What happened last night? Why did you leave the lounge when we were discussing our engagement and more importantly why were you having breakfast alone?"

"I was tired last night and honestly I dont owe you answers."

"We getting married so you do owe me answers."

"Is that so, already showing me your true colours."

"I could say the same."

"I was always like this with you, you on the other hand have been trying to impress everyone but now you trying to show me that you a though guy and that you rule me but I've got news for you,  no man is ruling me."

"Why are we even fighting? You know I want to marry you and only you. Look I'm just concerned about you. I know you upset about something I just want to know what, maybe I can help? Does it have something to do with your friend?"

"No it has nothing to do with her."

"Okay, so then it has to do with me. Please tell me what I did, I really need to know."

"It's not you."

"So what or who is it? Did someone say something to you? You not helping with your one sentence answers."

Zayaan walked closer to me, he sat on the floor next to my chair. He took my hand and placed it in his, I pulled my hand away.

"It is me otherwise you wouldn't have pulled your hand away."

"It's not you okay. I don't want the big engagement that everyone is so excited about, I just want our close family there but no one seems to care what I want."

"Is that all it is. Sweety you should have just told me what you want. I will do anything to make you happy. We going downstairs and we telling them."

He takes aholds my hand and pulls me downstairs, everyone is now in the lounge, our mothers are discussing colour schemes, drapes, stage set up. I look at Zayaan with concern, thinking how is he going to tell them. He doesn't let go of my hand and loudly clears his throat, everyone looks up at us.

"We need to tell you all what we want."

I looked at him, he just said we want… what if he wants a big engagement and is sacrificing it for me.

"We don't want this huge engagement that you planning, we want a small engagement. Just us, our parents and siblings. We don't want a big fancy do, this is not only what I want but Amaani and I both want this."

"Do you realise what you saying Zayaan? Both families have a lot of people who we would like to invite. How would people feel if we didn't invite them?" Aunty Hasina says firmly.

I don't dare to intefere, it's between him and his mother. If my family says anything then I can say something.

"Ammi I know exactly what I'm saying and those people you talking about most of them only come for the food or because we got money. The rest come to see if we make a good couple, no one comes to bless the couple. I don't want such people there when it's suppose to be mine and Amaani's day."

"Amu is this what you want? You know we never had a small function because of the number of people we know," my Ammi says.

"Ammi, Zayaan and I spoke and this is what I want."

"So it's not Zayaan's idea."

"It is my idea as well Ammi," he replies to my Ammi.

"Ammi you know I was never a fan of these big functions, I always told you that I would never want a lavish function, I would rather feed the poor."

"We told you what we want, we will only get engaged if it is done our way,  otherwise there will be an engagement but only Amaani and I will be present," Zayaan added.

We still holding hands so he pulls me back to my room. We close the door and sat on my bed. I look at Zayaan in utter amazement. He is not at all what I thought him to be, he really will do anything to make me happy. I turned to him, put my arms around his neck and hugged him, after a few seconds I realised what I was doing and backed off.

"Why you so nasty to me sometimes? You put on this tough girl show, is it because you afraid I'm going to hurt you? You know I would never hurt you right."

"I'm sorry for being nasty, I know you don't deserve it. I've got no excuse for doing it. I grew up in a house full of guys, I never learnt to be soft, emotional all those feelings are new to me so I don't know how to deal with it."

I couldn't tell Zayaan that I started feeling all these emotions when I realised I am inlove with Aahil. He doesn't know about Aahil and I don't want to tell him now about it. We sat in my room waiting for our parent's to agree to our terms. A few hours later they called us down, they agreed to our terms although they didn't seem happy about it.

I might have been a bit selfish but I knew that if we had a big engagement then that would mean the Hamidi's would be invited and that would just break their hearts, especially Aahils. I promised him and I made a promise to myself never to hurt him so I just couldn't put him through it all.

It was the Malik's last night with us so we went out for dinner, after dinner Zayaan and I were sent away so we decided to go to the beach. He wanted to see the night life at the beach and the market stalls. We got to the beach, he opened the door for me and I slipped out of my seat, we walked a little around the market stalls and then went for a walk on the beach.

I took off my shoes, I always enjoy the sand between my toes. We were holding hands and walking, all of a sudden he grabbed me and pulled me closer to him, he put his left hand around my waist, we continued walking. I heard a familiar voice, I knew that laugh but I decided to ignore it. I knew Zayaan didn't want us to bump into anyone we knew so I carried on walking.

"Can we sit here for a bit," he asks nonchalantly.

"Yes we can."

"I have something important to ask you. Last night you asked me if I had any girlfriends. I would like to know if you had any boyfriends or any guys interested in you that you were also interested in?"

"I never had a boyfriend, everyone that knows me will tell you that I don't believe in having a boyfriend. Yesterday Zafar mentioned Armaan, he is interested in me but no one beside my bhabhi knows, I'm not interested in him."

"I'm worried now?"

"Why? There's no need to be, I told you I'm not interested in him, he has approached me but I have been firm and told him to stay away."

"Maybe I shouldn't go home, I know Zafar said he would be back tomorrow that means he will be there the whole week and knowing you also there is getting me worried."

I laughed at how jealous he was getting over Armaan, he looked at me wide eyed when I laughed.

"If you see Armaan which you will tomorrow before you leave, you will see that you have nothing to worry about."

"I can't wait to see for myself."

We sat there holding each other, I felt a bit uncomfortable because I didn't want to be holding him but I knew I had to show him that I am interested in him because of my parent's. It was getting late so we headed back home before our parent's scowled at us.