AN INDIAN GIRLS SACRIFICE

Chapter 111

Today Zayana is 10 days old,  we having a small get together to mark her aqeeqah which was done on the 7th day after her birth. Ammi invited all our close friends and some family.

The Hamidi's arrived this morning, it was so pleasant to see them all, Aahil looked a little disturbed and I still didn't get a chance to speak to him.

I explained to Zayaan that I was worried about Aahil and I needed to speak to him, Zayaan called Aahil and when he arrived, Zayaan left us alone.

"Is everything alright Amu, Zayaan said you were looking for me."

"Are you okay? You didn't seem okay when you came in."

"Oh I'm fine…uhm..don't worry about me."

"Aahil I know you haven't really moved on, that's why you refuse to get married. I know this is difficult on you."

He turned away probably because a tear threatened to fall out but quickly turned back and smiled at me.

"This could have been us with our little family. I'm sorry I don't mean to sound selfish but I never thought this would be so difficult."

"I…I'm really sorry…I…"

"You right I never moved on, it seems so impossible, I can't see myself spending my life with someone else. I can't stop loving you."

"You have to find a way to move on, meet woman and see from there. You can't live your life alone."

"I'm doing fine on my own Amu, I really am. I'm enjoying being alone."

"What you mean?"

"I moved out from my parents place, I got myself an apartment on the coast and I've been staying there."

"What! Are you crazy? Why did you move out?"

"The nagging wouldn't stop."

"Huh!"

"My mother's nagging. She refused to stop, I kept telling her I don't want to get married and she kept showing me photos."

"So you moved out, I can't believe you did, you are your mother's favourite, we all know that, she must be so lonely without you."

"She hates it I know but what am I suppose to do Amu?"

Before I could answer him, Zayana woke up, she cried and it made him leave the room. I could see how much this affected him and it was okay with me if he didn't want to be here.

I messaged him knowing that he wouldn't want to come to the room again. I messaged to tell him it was okay with me if he wanted to leave, he didn't reply or leave.

I changed Zayana and we both made our way to the living room where almost everyone was. Some of the men were outside busy with the fire and some ladies busy in the kitchen.

After the braai, everything was cleared, everyone went to their respective rooms. Zayaan had this questioning look on his face and I knew exactly why.

"So are you ever going to tell me?" Zayaan asked as we were changing into our pj's.

"Tell you what?"

"About what you and Aahil spoke about."

"You might not like what I say."

"And why is that?"

"I'm going to tell you but promise you won't freak out or take it out on Aahil."

"It depends but okay I guess I promise."

"No no… you have to promise not guess to promise."

"Okay I promise."

I told Zayaan what Aahil said, he was surprised at first and then he had this tensed look on his face.

"Babes, say something, anything."

"So he still love you."

"Yeah but that doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"No one is going to take me away from you. I'm always going to be yours and only yours. You know it's kind of cute.. this jealousy."

"My jaan you asking me to be okay with your best friend still being inlove with you and still allow him in our lives and not to be jealous."

"Well yeah but I never said you can't be jealous, I said it was cute."

"Cute, yeah right! I'm not cute."

"Yes you are, you are my cute bundle of jealousy."

"I love you."

Zayana woke up for her feed so I went to her instead of telling him I loved him too. He pulled a sad puppy dog face on me and smirked.

"My daughter has perfect timing, she knows exactly when to wake up."

"Oh my baby I'm sorry. I love you too."

"Yeah, yeah we all know who you love."

I put Zayana down and sat next to Zayaan, I took his hand in mine knowing that this was troubling him and although I might be taking this lightly but I fully understands how he feels, after all I experienced it with Raeesa.

"Look it's simple, I love you and our princess unconditionally and you all that matter to me. If Aahil is still inlove with me he has to learn to deal with it and move on. All I can do is encourage him to move on. Don't let this come between us, we've had enough of being apart."

"I won't my love, it's just that I only understand now how you must have felt all this time. I'm really sorry."

"That's all in the past now, let's leave it there and enjoy our time together with our princess."

"She has really brought alot of joy to us. Thank you for giving me such a beautiful princess."

"Yes she has."

I shared my concerns about Fawaaz bhai and Nosheen bhabhi with Zayaan. I know if no one else understands he would. I was worried that my brother hadn't spoken to me in days.

We've never had to deal with something like this before, yes my brother hasn't spoken to me before but that was different, he was just upset by my decision.

This time he is wrong and instead me being upset with him, he is with me. Maybe I was a bit too rude to him and Nosheen bhabhi, maybe I need to apologise for my rude behaviour.

They both elder than me not only by age but by relation as well and I should have respected them and our relation. I've been feeling really bad.

Zayaan feels that we should apologise and then not get involved in their problems with the family. We should enjoy our stay here, what's left of it and move on with our lives.

I know my parents are never going to tell them anything and so are Zuhair bhai and bhabhi. I somehow feel it's my responsibility since Zafar is too small to understand all this family drama.

I guess Zayaan is right, I'm married now and I have no responsibility towards what my brother's do. They have their own lives now and I should stay out of it.

It hurts though to think my brother has changed so much and she has changed him. I know my parents know how she is but why aren't they doing anything.

What can they do though, whatever step they take will destroy our family. Maybe they want to hold on and hope for a change of heart from Nosheen bhabhi.