The Librarian and the Fox Princess: a Donghua Dijun and Bai Fengjiu story, V.I

Chapter 70 - Vesper and Testament

A/N: Warning - conversations contain mature sexual content that might be triggering to some. 

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He knew it was already very late into the night. Dong Hua continued to look at her steadily as she began adjusting the collar of his robe which had gotten rumpled during her incessant pulling and tugging during their rough-play session.

"There, that looks better," she said as she patted around his neck and shoulders. "See? You're not the only one who can make things better."

The corners of his eyes appeared strained with emotion but she couldn't tell what emotions specifically.

"Are you finished brooding?" she asked cautiously while stroking a long section of his hair through her fingers.

"Can I have my best friend back?" she followed up with a whisper.

"You can have anything you want," he whispered back.

She smiled softly. "That's not how life works."

"What do you know about life, little fox? You're only 30,000 years old."

"I know enough. I know that people think I'm a fool and that I don't know anything, but that's probably a good thing. Who wants a fool?" she said in a small voice.

Dong Hua knitted his brow in confusion. He couldn't understand why she would say that about herself. It was as if his self-contempt had dragged her out into the dark cold night with him.

He tightened his hold on her waist. "Why would you say that? You're very innocent, but I would not say that makes you a fool. Your innocence is a bright light. I have lived for far too long, in more darkness than you could know, and held more power than anyone ever should. Your innocence is a beacon that makes me not only humble, but also curious, an antidote if you will, for my arrogance."

She smiled again but he could see a hint of sadness in her eyes. "My librarian always has lots of words."

"Only for you. I'm actually considered almost mute by most Celestials," he said with a blank expression.

"Do you want to know a secret?"

"Yes," he whispered. "Tell me."

"Sometimes I wish I could stay young and innocent forever."

It was easy for him to hide his bewilderment but hard to not be saddened by the mournful tone of her words. "Go on ... tell me more."

She didn't know what made her thoughts arrive at the grim destination. But somehow she found herself alone looking back into the dark passageway of her memory.

"A thousand years ago, after Yang Kai tried to .... to ... " Her voice trailed off unable to say the words.

"You don't have to say it." His voice was deep and even as his eyes conveyed softness and understanding.

She swallowed. "No, I'll say it. Dijun, you've helped me a lot. I can face these things now." She drew in a keep breath and released it slowly. She averted her gaze from Dong Hua and instead let her eyes fall onto his white robe. She let her eyes focus so closely on the sea of white before her. Her fox sight could make out the minute threads woven together.

"When he tried to ... rape ... me." She had never once said that word out loud. The word felt bitter and dirty in her mouth.

"I remember when he began attacking me, he said that he had waited a long time for me to grow up so .... we could be together in this way." She could barely finish her sentence as she drew her arms into her body and swallowed the bitterness.