The Librarian and the Fox Princess: a Donghua Dijun and Bai Fengjiu story, V.I

Chapter 94 - Primary Affection

Dong Hua wasn't sure how much sanity he had left when he found himself declining her massage.

"You didn't sleep well last night; you had nightmares," he said softly. He was still lying on his side on the divan as she knelt on the ground looking up at him. Noticing how unacceptable it was for her to have to be on the ground while he was on the divan, he immediately sat up, helped her up to sit next to him. They both pulled their legs up and he sat in his usual lounging position as she sat on her knees in front of him.

She was still eating her peach.

As he watched her, he couldn't help but think about the nightmare she had where he sent her home with her father. Somewhere in her little head, she held the possibility that he would not fight for her, that he would give her up.

He sighed at the realization that he had placed those ideas there. He had planted a seed long ago out of poor judgment. It had grown into the parasitic plant that had tightly wrapped itself around the both of them, stealing the nutrients of their shared affection.

"Xiao Bai, did you really think that I wouldn't do everything I could do to keep you here with me? If that's what you wanted?"

She chewed thoughtfully on her mouthful of peach. "Mmm. Dijun, I know I'm important to you."

"Do you?"

She nodded. "But I know you have difficulties. In the dream you even told me that nothing lasts forever, that there's nothing to hang onto. Then you even gave me a map before you sent me off with my father. It was really big and heavy. Obviously, my father didn't help me carry it."

He sighed. "I've talked to you many times about impermanence."

She nodded while adorably nibbling on the peach.

"I speak to you about impermanence not so I can push you away and not to diminish what you and I share together. I mention impermanence because it is real. Acknowledging it also allows us to be grateful and fully present to the most beautiful but fleeting moments in our long immortal lives. Eternity is an illusion, as is immortality. But, am I not real to you?" he asked softly while reaching over to lightly touch her on her knee.

She looked down and whispered to herself, "Real Dijun." She looked back up at him. "Of course you're real."

"And the me who was in your dream who sent you away with some damn map, does that seem like me now?"

She was impressed that he cursed.

She shook her head. "No, you're not cold like that to me. And I've dreamt of you before. That Dijun was the best. He would never say those things to me or send me off with my father. He would also know that the clunky map was far too heavy for me to carry. He's thoughtful like that."

He gave her a small smile. He had outdone himself with Dream Dijun, apparently. If that was his biggest competition, perhaps he had a chance at winning her heart, after all.

She has finished her peach and was holding the pit. She looked around her.

"What do you need? Do you want me to dispose of that for you?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm finding a place to secretly plant this."

She jumped off the divan and found a spot several meters away. She changed into her fox form and expertly dug a deep hole into the grass and dropped the pit into it. She used her hind legs to kick the dirt over the hole and turned around to stomp her small forepaw onto the mound several times. He could feel she had tapped a bit of her magic into it.

She then jumped onto the divan and climbed into his lap. She had forgotten her paws had dirt on them but he didn't care. He only conjured the dirt away so she wouldn't see it and feel bad.