A Leap of Faith (Part 2)

Chapter 364 - Final Punishment

1934

I just completed my final punishment, and just like I knew it would be, it was the worst punishment of them all, but not because it was the most painful physically, but because it was the most painful emotionally and mentally. Father brought me into a room with himself, Nyssa, and a few of the other Leviathan guards, and he made a whole big show of this being my final punishment, playing it up to all the other Leviathan agents. However, he then said that my final punishment would be a test, a test to see my loyalty to him, and to see if I have learnt from my previous failures, mistakes, and betrayal. Father then revealed that my punishment would actually be directed at Nyssa, and as he revealed this, multiple Leviathan guards held Nyssa in place, who struggled slightly. Father then ripped the back of Nyssa's shirt off, revealing her bear flesh. Father then told me that I would have two choices. I could either choose to give Nyssa 25 lashes, which I would have to carry out myself, or I could let father give Nyssa 17 lashes. Upon hearing this, I knew the horrible situation that father was putting us in, as it was a lose-lose situation for me, with no ideal outcome. If I chose to let father give Nyssa the lesser lashes, it might seem like a kindness, when you don't think too much into it, but if you actually think a little bit about it, the 8 lashes difference really doesn't matter. The important part of the lashes is who is given the lashes to you. I have learnt this very well from my experience with all the times I have been whipped over this last year. I knew that if I chose for father to be the one to give Nyssa the lashes, while he may lash her fewer times than I, he would be far more brutal. He would whip Nyssa almost as hard as he could, and give her basically no time to recover at all. It would be absolutely brutal. However, if I were to choose to whip Nyssa it would seem like I was choosing to give Nyssa more lashes, and more punishment, even if I knew I would not be as brutal as father, and be able to somewhat control the environment. My big worry was that Nyssa would not understand this, and understand why I would make the choice to give her more lashes, not realising it would be out of kindness. But I knew that was the whole point of this situation that father had put us in. It was all a big test, and a game to him.

Eventually, I made the decision to be the one to give Nyssa the lashes, and father simply handed me the whip with a completely evil look on his face. I don't really think father cared what decision I made, he just wanted to punish me emotionally, rather than physically, as with all the punishments I had received the last year and a bit, none of them had really touched me on such an emotional level. I soon then began to give Nyssa the 25 lashes, and every time I heard the sound of the whip hitting Nyssa's skin, and ringing out through the room, my body tensed. This was then made even worse by the scream of pain Nyssa would let out with every whip I gave her. I continued on though, trying to be as kind as possible, and whip Nyssa just hard enough so that father would not complain about it, but with nowhere near as much power as I really could do it, and certainly not anywhere near as powerful as father could do it. At the same time, I made sure to give at least 5 – 10 seconds of time between each whip, giving Nyssa's skin some time to recover. I did this by slowly pulling the whip back, and getting it back into position, ready to whip another time. Again, this was me doing all this as slowly as possible, for Nyssa's sake, but not too slow that father would complain. I was walking on a tightrope essentially.

The whipping continued for what felt like multiple hours, but in reality wasn't any longer than around 5 minutes, and as I got closer and closer to completing this punishment, getting to the 25 number of whips, I could hear Nyssa's moans of pain getting lesser and lesser. I could tell though, this wasn't because it was hurting her less, but this was because she was simply starting to fade out from the pain. Nyssa was teetering on the edge of passing out from all the pain she was in, but every time I whipped her now, that was stopping her from completely passing it. This was a horrible thing to think about. At the same time that this was happening to Nyssa, I could feel tears wanting to appear in my own eyes, just from how much I hated this. How much I hated knowing Nyssa was in so much pain, and I was the one inflicting this on her. However, I had to use all my strength, and willpower, not to allow these tears to come through, as I knew if father saw these tears, then that would not be good. My worst though imaginable would be that I go through all this, and put Nyssa through all this, only for father to then say that I didn't do a good enough job, so we have to start again, or he will just have to give Nyssa his 18 whips instead, despite her going through the 25 whips by my hand.