He Who Wants A Rose, Must Respect The Thorn

Clueless

After Julian ran off, I was left with eyes on me, questioning who I was and what was I doing kissing one of the players. Then it hit me, what position did he even play? What was his surname again? Number? I felt so out of my depth. That's when I remembered I had the shirt sitting in my lap that Julian had given me. I picked it up, holding it up a little so I could see. "Edelman" I whispered to myself. The number 11 emblazoned on the front and back too. Huh, I guess he wants me to wear it...

......

Soon after Julian had left me, the team went back inside, assuming getting ready to come back out for the game. During this time, I was sitting there in my seat, feeling pretty stunned. I was in a daze, things going on around me, the cheerleaders doing their thing, the crowds were filling up and there I was sitting alone in my own little world. I seriously had no clue who I had been going on dates with these passed few weeks. I assumed I didn't know a thing about the Julian I had begun to really like, or the Julian that was coming out onto the field again, in his kit, yelling and psyching up his team mates.

........

I managed to try and push back all the thoughts that were encompassing my mind and I actually enjoyed the game. Don't get me wrong, my interest in number 11 was a little deeper than perhaps it was during the last match...but seeing him on the field, his adrenaline pumping and the testosterone flooding his veins, he was a totally different character, and hell did he look good. I could get used to seeing him in that get up every weekend, until he got hurt. The way he launched his self into catches, yeah I know that's his job, but Jesus he was an animal. I guess seeing him clattering into the opposition was something I'd have to get used to...

The game seemed to end quicker than I was expecting, I think I was just more engrossed than I cared to admit, and soon enough, everyone was leaving. I didn't expect to be seeing Julian after the game now, so I figured I'd make my own way home, avoiding my brother. I felt I needed some time to try and let all this new information sink in. I had a feeling it was going to take a while.

I seemed to be walking around the stadium forever when my cell phone rang, expecting my brother to be asking me if I was getting home okay. 

"I'm fine, I'm making my way home right now" I said, smiling a little down the phone. "Huh, Penny?" A deep voice asked, "oh, uh..." I pulled my phone from my ear and checked the ID, "Julian, hey..." I stumbled a little. I heard some muffled voices on his end of the line and then everything went quiet. "you okay?" he asked me, I smiled, "yeah. Are you?" 

"yeah" I heard the smile in his voice. "Where are you?" he asked, "um..." I looked around, I had no clue really. "I, I guess I'm near the Pats store? Um, I can see it in front of me." 

"turn around"

"what?"

"turn around. Keep walking til you get to a maintenance door. I'll see you in a little bit" then he hung up.  I chewed on my lip as I nervously walked in the direction he told me. Why was I feeling uncomfortable about this? Maybe I needed more time to think about this, I felt a little stupid about not knowing who the hell he was.

It didn't take me long to find the door I was instructed to wait at, I felt like some groupie. But I tried to shake that from my head as I stood with my back to the door. I watched as thousands of fans trudged passed me. Most were from the opposing team, walking with their heads down, the Patriots smashing them as usual, so I'm told.

"that looks so good on you" A low voice whispered behind me, making me jump. I spun around, finding the door ajar, and seeing a face in the shadows, a woolly hat covering their head. I blushed at his comment and the touch of his hand on mine as he gently pulled me back inside the stadium walls. 

We didn't utter a word as he led me down the empty corridor and to what seemed like a- "We're in a janitor's closet" I said, looking around me as Julian locked the door. He turned to me with a grin plastered to his features. I rolled my eyes at him. It was a tiny space, especially being in here with Julian and his muscles. We stood unbearably close. I looked up at him, his crystal blue eyes looking straight into mine. But I looked away shyly, trying to take a step back from him, bumping into some boxes behind me.

"have I messed up?" he asked, bending down a little, trying to see my face. I finally looked up at him, seeing him in a totally different way, not that I intended to be. But I couldn't help it. Thousands of fans saw this guy as some sort of God. They worshipped him on the field, it felt bizarre. I bit my lip as I thought of what to say. "why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed and nodded. He knew it was coming, eventually, so he couldn't be mad at me for asking. "I met you and it was a total relief you didn't know who I was. I knew you wouldn't care what I did or who I was, but I didn't want you to see me any different than Julian." he told me. "I guess it was selfish of me, but I enjoyed it" he added, looking down a little.

"I'm sorry" he said, looking up to my eyes. My heart was breaking right now. "I kind of understand why you did it. But"

"but you don't trust me" he nodded in defeat. "It's not that I don't trust you, but I feel like I don't know you. At all. Like all that stuff I learned about you, or who I thought you were is all bullshit." I told him. He sighed and shook his head. "I promise you, what you saw of me, is the real me. So is Julian on the field, that's just a different part of me. Please, please don't hate me for keeping this from you" He whispered, taking my hand gently once more. "I don't hate you Julian." I sighed, "it's just so much to take in" I said, looking down at his swollen hand holding my tiny one. "will you...will you come meet my friends?" he asked timidly. My eyes darted up to his, wide in shock. "huh?!" I blurted out, "will you come meet the guys?" he asked again. I sighed deeply, knowing I could blow this whole thing, and I closed my eyes and shook my head. Should it matter that I had just found out who he was? Not really, but it actually did. "I'm sorry Julian" I said, looking up to see the hurt in his eyes. "I need to have a little space right now, and going in there and seeing all your friends like it's no big deal, I can't do that." I said. "I'm not ready to do...this..." I said, throwing my arms up in the air. "I'm really sorry Julian. Go and have fun celebrating with your team mates. I hope I've not ruined that for you" I said, reaching up and kissing his cheek softly. Then I gently brushed passed him and left the closet.

I made it almost out of the stadium before I heard an almighty growl coming from the closet I had just left and an even louder thud. I'm guessing he punched the wall in frustration.