He Who Wants A Rose, Must Respect The Thorn

You Googled Me?!

I woke up the next morning with a weird feeling in my stomach. I briefly felt like last night had been a dream, but the 6 missed calls and 5 unread text messages were a stark reminder that it was one hell of a reality.

I groaned loudly throwing myself back onto my bed. I was an idiot for not going with him last night. So what that I didn't know, so what that he played for the Patriots. He wanted me there and I blew it. Who the hell does that? Every fan girl in the world would be questioning my sanity right now.

I stared at my phone, 5 unread texts. I didn't want to read them. The missed calls were from him, but the messages? Well, one was my brother, telling me he wasn't gonna be home last night- I really didn't wanna know... The next was from Amelia back home, my colleague at work. Some gossip from my department she couldn't wait a couple of days to tell me. The last one was from Olivia, sent an hour ago, asking if I was okay. The other two? Yeah they were from Julian....

You should be here with me Babe. Everyone's asking where you at xxx
Sent 10.42pm

Please, baby, what can I do? Xxxx
Sent 2.30am

Yeah, guilt. That was the feeling in my stomach. Tears filled my eyes. He hadn't done anything wrong, not really. I was holding it against him for wanting a normal taste of reality, for briefly having some sort of a normal relationship. Man did I feel crappy. I started to think about the other girls he'd dated. I bet they didn't care who he was. Maybe they did... But they still wouldn't have punished him for it. I had to reach out to him.

Nothing Julian. I just wouldn't be right for you

*Julian calling*

Pick up the phone dammit!

I embarrassingly ignored him. Why was I acting like a silly little girl? Thinking if I ignored him he'd just go away. Did I actually want him to just go away?

Meet me please. At our place. Please don't make me wait there alone xxx

Once again my heart was ready to break. I couldn't treat him this way, and he sure as hell wouldn't put up with it either. So I sent him a quick OK in response and rolled out of bed to shower and dress.

I pulled out some clothes from my dresser as I waited for the shower to warm up. I couldn't help but look at the clothes on my bed and compare them to something one of his exes would wear. I was just no match for them. I sighed, trying to shake the stupid thoughts from my mind and headed to the bathroom.

.......

An hour later, I arrived at the candy store where I'd agreed to meet him. My nerves were on fire this morning and I needed something to stop the shakes. I debated whether I had time to pop across the road to grab a coffee when the familiar rumble of Julian's Porshe caught my attention, seeing it cruise into the parking lot behind the store. Guess I didn't. So instead I waited until he'd parked up and then made my way over....

As usual, when I opened the door I was met with the familiar smell of Julian's crisp cologne, mixed with the leather of his pristine car interior.

I barely looked at him as I climbed in, the sound of me shutting the door, the only noise that was made. "babe, why can't you even look at me?" he whispered softly, sat facing me. His elbow resting on the top of the steering wheel.

"I'm not enough for you" I breathed out.

"why?!"

I shrugged, "I'm me, a nobody, an English girl who is nerdy and shy. I love being home with a book, not going to fancy dinners and walking down a runway." I said timidly, looking up at him, his concerned expression quickly turned to one of anger.

"Wait. You fucking googled me?!" he growled. I couldn't help it, but I let out a small laugh. "No I didn't Julian" I shook my head, "I had to talk to someone and she knew who you were. Who you dated. She just talked like it's common knowledge. Guess it's not to me." I added, with another shrug. I looked back at him and his frown was still there but he just took a deep breath. "I'd never Google you. I thought you'd know me better than that" I said, glancing up nervously at him, "I figured you'd tell me what you wanted to, but I don't feel like I'd fit your lifestyle." I told him honestly. His gaze finally left the windshield and he turned to look at me. Those blue eyes piercing mine, his jaw tight but I knew he was no longer mad at me for those brief moments, just at the situation.

"I can decide what's right for me or not. Maybe I like that you are who you are. So different from what I'm used to." he told me, his eyes regaining their softness.

"Different." I repeated his choice of words.

"Yeah. When I walked into that candy store, I saw you standing there and I couldn't believe my luck. You'd been staring at the candy as long as I'd been staring at you. I couldn't take my eyes off you." he said, hesitantly moving over to me, reaching to brush a strand of hair out of my face, making me stare into those eyes of his.

"It made my day that I didn't have to be 'Edelman', I could just be Julian. You were so innocent and sweet. It was so refreshing. And you're so God damn beautiful." I blushed like crazy at that, making him chuckle.

"It doesn't matter who's in my past. I'm in the now, with you. I want you to be in the future. So bad. That's why I wanted you to meet my friends." he explained, and which quite frankly shocked me. "I knew I didn't have to keep it from you, but I was enjoying being normal."

"But you're not normal. Not really. Maybe to me you are, cause I only really know you as you, but all that other stuff, it's....So out of my comfort zone." Julian sighed and hesitantly took my hand in his. "then we can work on that. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I won't take you anywhere you're not comfortable." he said, squeezing my hand. "Just say you won't go back to England and forget about me." He pleaded. I sighed. England. Home. I didn't want to go back really. But I had no choice. "I guess I can try and remember you..." I teased. "I reckon I should keep your jersey" I smiled, as he chuckled and kissed the back of my hand. "most definitely baby" I blushed, as always, making him smile.

I looked away shyly, and instantly, Julian tugged on my hand a little. I looked up at him and when I didn't move, he pulled me roughly, making me gasp "J!" and he yanked me across the car and into his lap.

"J, hmm... I like that" he smirked at me, making me blush. He slid his arms around my lower back, as he looking down at me with his boyish expression. "kiss me" my face turned even more red. Biting my lip I hesitated a little, "kiss me dammit!" he repeated playfully. Alright. I thought, and this, was the first time I had properly kissed Julian Edelman.

.......

"Fuck that was nice." He grinned. Making me giggle a little and lick my bottom lip. His eyes wandered down to my mouth and he smirked again, before leaning forward and pressing his lips against mine once more. I found my hands moving out of his, and I ran them up the back of his neck, into his hair. Absentmindedly grinding my hips down onto his lap. My actions caused a growl to erupt in his chest and I giggled, pulling away from him. We shared a smile, and I then wasted no time in continuing my assault on him.

........

We seemed to have been sitting in his car for what seemed like minutes, but when we actually realised it, the sky was getting darker. "I guess I better be dropping you home soon" he sighed, running his hand through my hair. I pouted playfully and he chuckled. "I just, I'm glad we got this sorted out before you leave." he added, playing with a strand of my hair. I nodded and just watched him adoringly. "are we still spending the day together tomorrow?" he asked making me smile. "of course. I wouldn't want anything else" I smiled, causing him to beam a grin at me. "awesome" he winked at me making me blush for the thousandth time already. "c'mon baby, let's get you home" he said kissing my hand. I nodded and reluctantly moved back into my seat and he started the engine.