He Who Wants A Rose, Must Respect The Thorn

You Have Voicemail

The following morning I wish I could say I woke with a spring in my step and a feeling of new beginnings, but nope, the total opposite. I dragged myself out of the bed, and walked like a zombie into the bathroom to take a shower. I washed my body, my hair and dried myself, all with flash backs of Julian being in the flat with me, the few days he stayed here seemed to inprint on my brain and those familair memories weren't ones I looked back on fondly right now. I shook my head and carried on getting dry. I pulled on my underwear and the clothes I'd set out for the day and the journey to Boston. My stomach rolled at the thought of the long day ahead.

........

It was about two hours after I'd woken up that I thought to check my phone. Yeah maybe I was avoiding it just a little but I just wanted to go about my last morning in my home without drama. Foolishly hoping there would be nothing on my phone....

16 missed calls from J
10 voicemails
3 messages

Voicemail 1: "Penny, answer your phone babe, let me explain. It's not what you think. 

Voicemail 2: Baby, I love you, I wouldn't throw it all away. Talk to me babe.

Voicemail 3: Short stack, please, I love you baby girl...I won't stop til you talk to me. We need to make this right. Please baby, talk to me...

Then the messages started to get a little more ramble-y as the liquor kicked in...

Voicemail 7: It's me again. It's J. Call me back baby. I miss you. I love you. I need to explain. It's not what you think, even though you won't believe me. I love you. Talk to me baby. Penny. Pen. Penelope. Please talk to me..... Oh, Danny's here... *sounds of Danny and scuffles* how many have you left her?! 

then the line went dead, I presumed Danny had hung up the phone. Part of me wondered whether there was any point in listening to the next three, but the little flashing light on my phone wouldn't stop until I'd listened to the rest. 

Voicemail 8: *singing* Let's run away from these lies, back to yesterday, save tonight...I feel the sun creeping up like tick-tock, I'm trying to keep you in my head but if not, We'll just keep running from tomorrow with our lips locked. Yeah, you got me begging *inaudible mumbling* baby, please don't go! If I wake up tomorrow will you still be here? I don't know if you feel the way I do. If you leave I'm gon' find you. Baby please don't go- *Danny yelling* 

Then it cut off again. I had to say, no matter how pissed at him I was, part of me found him drunk and singing (what I think) was a Mike Posner song at me down the phone was rather amusing. The next voicemail was just mumbling and him telling me that he loved me. It baffled me how he managed to get to dodge Danny long enough to send me the voicemails, and what the hell Danny said when he caught him. The light was flashing still, and I prepared one last time to listen to the final one.

Voicemail 10: Penny, it's Danny. I've locked myself in the bathroom to leave this message. Ah, actually you've probably deleted them before listening to this....but if you haven't, please ignore his drunken ramblings. He's unbelievably intoxicated right now, and he just wants to talk to you. Please, for me, just hear him out. Whether you choose to believe him or not is up to you, but GOD I can't stand him being like this...Liv and I are worried about you though. Please just talk to her anyway, we miss you. Okay, well I better go, things have gone too quiet out there. Bye

I sighed, listening to Danny made me want to cry all over again. Jeez why did everything have to get messed up? Why did he have to go home with her. Why did I have to fall in love with him? Why did he track me down and chase me back home when I left? Why did I have to go into that stupid candy shop? I huffed as I zipped up my suitcase. Because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have had the most amazing few months of my life and now be moving thousands of miles from my home. I guess even though I was now moving over there as a single woman, I was making the right choice.

..........

Before I knew it, the time was 11am and I had to leave. My suitcase was standing by the door, my jacket and converse beside it. Everything was switched off, the balcony was locked and the place was echo-y and empty. Cold and dark. I took one last look about the place, it looked nothing like the home I had loved for so many years. I would miss it more than anything, It had always been my safe place, for girly nights in with friends, cosy ones with boys and chilled out ones alone, not to mention nights nursing a broken heart. I smiled, I hoped the next occupier would love it the way I did. I wished I'd been able to keep it, kinda like Carrie from Sex and the city, but I guess my new place could be that too. This was the final chapter of my story here, and I needed to close the book. "thank you" I whispered, to nothing, or anything in particular, and placed my keys on the counter before stepping outside and closing the door for the very last time.