He Who Wants A Rose, Must Respect The Thorn

Not Your Babe Part II

PENNYS POV

"Julian!" I pushed him away. I tried to catch my breath from that kiss. Wow. Yeah maybe I melted into him, maybe I ran my fingers through his hair, down to drag my nails through his scruff on his cheeks. But I knew this wasn't right.

"what the fuck are you doing?!" I whispered angrily, aware that we were making a few drapes twitch at our little conversation out here. He didn't answer me, just stared me down, licking his lips, smoothing down his hair with his hand. "I'm sorry baby." he sighed, his anger seemed to have dissipated from our kiss. I sighed too, mine gone also. "for everything." he said simply, his hands by his side, looking crestfallen. "for getting angry at you. For putting you in this situation. For breaking your heart" he stopped, swallowing his tears again. "I never left with her. We just left at the same time. I swear. I talked to her for like ten minutes and then I left. I couldn't find Danny and Liv so I left. Right when she was leaving, that's all. I got into a separate cab. I'd never do that to you. I'd never do you like that. Ever. For no one" he whispered, I could see the honesty in his eyes, the pain he was carrying.

"I'm sorry baby girl. I'm sorry". He sighed. "goodnight" he whispered, not waiting for any reaction from me. I think he'd got the message that I'd closed that part of me down. Not the Julian loving part, just the option of having something with him. I found myself watching him. He turned and picked his keys up off the sidewalk and walked back to his car. It didn't occur to me to stop him, to call out for him to wait. I let him go.

He climbed in the car, started the engine and begun to move off. As he drew closer, he saw me still standing there, so he stopped his car again beside the curb, "I love you" he said, looking so desperate, honest.

Broken.

He shuffled in his seat and then threw something to me out of the window before driving off. I caught it, looking down to see his bracelet in my hands. He never took that thing off. Ever.

What the fuck do I do now?

........

I walked into the dark quiet house, shutting the door slowly as to not disturb my brother. I'd be kidding myself if I thought he'd not heard that out there. I left my heels my the door and made my way up the stairs.

"you okay Pen?" my brothers voice asked as I passed his bedroom door. "no." I croaked out. "wanna talk?"
"no. Thank you, I just wanna go to bed." I replied, looking down at the bracelet in my hands. "okay, love you"
"love you too. Goodnight" I whispered as tears began to streak down my face.

I hurried into my room and closed the door, diving under my covers and letting the tears fall. It didn't matter that I still loved him, that he'd explained what had happened. I'd closed myself off to him, banned my heart from breaking at his actions ever again. It wasn't in my nature to be able to deal with the drama, I just wanted normal and happy. Not camera's and models and newspapers that spun lies. So I agreed that it was for the best that I tried to forget Julian Francis Edelman for good. No matter how much my heart screamed in protest.