Taylor Swift Imagines Book Three (gxg)

opening up to her about your previous toxic relationship

Taylor's eyebrows were knit together, her hand laced with yours as she'd give them a little encouraging squeeze here and there.

Something's bothering you. She can tell from the way you keep turning away from her when she'd try to kiss you and how you keep closing off. She's worried because even though you're only a few weeks into your new relationship, she's already falling hard for you and she's scared that the reason you keep closing off from her is that you're starting to pull away and your feelings are starting to fade.

"I know I should've told you this sooner. Probably before things between us started to blossom, but I got scared." you paused and finally lifted your head up, your eyes meeting her blue ones that held a look of worry.

"I was in this relationship a couple of years ago. We broke up last year, well... kind of. I left." You turned away from her sadly, your hand that was intertwined with hers started to shake and sweat. "It was a very toxic relationship. I tried to tell myself that everything that happened between us was normal. But it got harder and harder to try to psych myself into that."

You took a deep breath and felt Taylor give your hand another squeeze.

"She made me start sacrificing my needs and dreams for hers. I loved her, or at least I thought I did. So it was hard when she never gave me encouragement on the things I needed it for the most. I had to work hard to get her approval for things like going to see friends outside of work or driving home to see my family."

You paused, tears welling up in your eyes at the memory alone.

"I felt so anxious around her but I tried to tell myself that it wasn't her fault. Because she loved me, why would I feel anxious around someone who loves me?" You swallowed thickly before continuing. "She always found something to pick on me about. My weight, my outfits, my hobbies, my favorite music. It was always something. I did whatever I could to please her. She didn't like my hair long so I kept it short."

Taylor reached her hand up and ran her fingers through your long hair. It wasn't super long, but it had been growing out a lot. And unlike your ex, she absolutely loved it.

"And then I noticed my relationships changing with my parents and my close friends. I noticed how I didn't have any desire to go out anymore because I hated coming home afterward, only to get a thousand questions of where I was and who I was with and why I was so late... even if I was just five minutes late because of things I had no control over, she'd lecture me and make me feel bad."

A tear ran down your cheek and Taylor reached to wipe it away, but you beat her to it.

"I guess my biggest regret is that I didn't listen to my friends or my family about their opinions on her. They said she was bad news, that there was something not right with her. But I told myself it wasn't true but I was wrong." You licked your dry lips and sniffled.

"I'm sorry I keep closing off, I swear it's not your fault. I know you're different. I can tell already. But I can't help but find it hard to trust people since... her. You're the first person I've taken a chance on since I left. I don't regret it at all so far. But It's just hard to tell myself that what happened before won't happen again."

Taylor sighed and opened her arms up for you. You smiled through your tears and moved a little closer, slowly laying your head on her chest. The sound of her heartbeat in your ear made you feel comforted.

"I understand. Y/n, you don't have to apologize for that, okay? I get you being scared, it's okay. But I need you to know that I'm not gonna be like her. I'll never try to change you or criticize you or the things that you love."

You lifted your head from her chest and stared up at her. "And, just so you know, I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And I love your long hair and I'd never want you to change it unless you wanted to. I think you're beautiful just the way you are, every piece of you."

You felt her lips brush across your forehead as you closed your eyes. A tear fell from your eye and she wiped it away gently, her thumbs brushing right under your eyes as you opened them.

"I can't imagine how hard that was on you and I appreciate you feeling like you can trust me enough to tell me that. I think you're spectacular." You chuckled and Taylor grinned at the sight of your eyes crinkling.

"And I don't want you to feel like you need approval or permission from me, because I want you to go out and do the things you dream of doing. I'll always support you and remind you how beautiful you are."

You smiled at her. Her eyes didn't look so sad anymore. They sparkled, shining brightly.

And for the first time, you leaned up and captured her lips with yours. She pulled back quickly as she took a shaky breath. "You're sure you wanna kiss me?"

It was your first kiss together, a major milestone in your relationship. And you've never felt better about taking that leap.

"Yes," you whispered and Taylor instantly cupped your chin in her hand and put her lips on yours. You kissed her with a passion, your worries and blues all fading away as she moved her free hand to your side, her fingers drawing circles on your skin as she kissed you and made you feel safe.

You pulled away and smiled as Taylor put her forehead on yours. "You're amazing. I promise to remind you of that every chance I get." She said as she caressed your face delicately. "You're absolutely incredible, Taylor. How'd I get so lucky?"

She giggled and pecked your temple. "I keep asking myself the same question."