You're Mine

chapter 170

Sunday, 19th February:

Logan: 13; Layla: 7; Leo: 4; Twins: 1; Eleanor: 2

-

Owen had held his wife the whole night, partly to warm her and to cuddle with her, but also because he was kind of scared of her sneaking out to get something else to relapse with. The brunette could hear his soft snores as she woke up in the morning, feeling like crap.

She realized that the babies weren't awake yet, so she sighed and turned around in her husband's arms to nuzzle into him. Amelia was so disappointed in herself, she could have cried. But there was no going back, she had broken her sobriety in a split second of weakness and now, she had to live with the consequences.

"Good morning.", the trauma surgeon groggily mumbled, kissing her forehead and keeping his eyes closed. "How did you sleep? How are you feeling?", he asked, and she knew what he meant.

"Okay and not so good.", the neurosurgeon quickly answered his questions. "I didn't relapse after James, I didn't relapse after the shooting and I didn't even relapse after I had been kidnapped for an entire year. Yesterday, I felt so stressed that I broke my sobriety and I have no idea how I could become so weak."

"Hey, you're not weak, Amelia.", her husband corrected her softly but firmly. "You made a mistake, it could have been avoided, but it happened. And now, we will have to deal with it, and we are going to."

"Which basically means, you're sending me to rehab?", his wife concluded, starting to sniffle at the thought of having to leave her family for a whole month. "Because I smoked one cigarette?"

"I am not. I am going to drag you to meetings and if that doesn't help, you will have to go to rehab. But I trust you and I am pretty sure the meetings are going to be enough for now.", the redhead comforted her. "I know you don't wanna leave the kids."

"I really don't.", the brunette confirmed, relieved that her husband was trying the easy way on her. "I am scared of relapsing again though.", she quietly shared. "What are your fears?", she wanted to know, referring to his promise of finally talking to her this morning.

"That I will lose you or the children or Eleanor.", Owen admitted. "By some dumb incident like one of you not being able to chew correctly, so you end up choking on a piece of apple.", he added. "I won't survive if something happens to my family. I could barely breathe when I saw you smoke on our front porch yesterday because I know what drugs do to you and your wellbeing. And still, it's my fault. I pushed you over the edge by being so ignorant."

"No Babe, it wasn't only that. I am the one who bought the cigarettes and it's on me that I actually smoked one. One of my babies got discriminated by their daycare, the other one had to be brought to the hospital. Logan isn't here and I know I have to let him live his life, but I am so scared that he isn't okay when he comes home this evening. I know it's unreasonable, but I can't talk my way out of it. And well, then you didn't talk to me, so I kinda felt like trash.", Amelia opened up. "I can't take away your fears of losing one of us, but I can tell you that we are doing a great job at parenting and that there are situations that nobody can predict."

"I guess you're right.", the trauma surgeon gently shrugged, trying not to hurt her. "Makes me feel helpless though.", he explained, watching his wife sit up to look him in the eye. "What? Are you okay?"

"I want you to tell me whenever you feel helpless.", the neurosurgeon begged. "Because you married me, and I deserve to at least be allowed to try to make you feel better and help. Why is it so hard for you to be vulnerable with me? You can do it just fine with the kids."

"Honey...", her husband began, before he scoffed in shame. "I wish it wasn't because of the reason it is, but...", he said, not in the mood to continue when his frustrated eyes met his wife's curious but loving ones. "Toxic masculinity. I'm an army major, I don't get to be vulnerable, especially not around women.", he confessed, feeling ashamed and preparing himself for Amelia to be mad again.

"Okay, then let's make a deal.", the brunette suggested instead. "In the military you get to be the fearless, non-vulnerable, perhaps even toxic Major Hunt. But here, at home, around your family aka your children, your dog and your wife, you let us in, and you let us help, because we are all equal here. Deal?", she questioned, looking super serious as she asked.

"Can I add to the deal?", the redhead wondered, causing her to nod in confusion. "The rule to talk about stuff when we feel helpless counts for everybody in this household, not just your husband.", he challenged, of course meaning her. "Whenever we feel any cravings that we know are bad for us, we talk about them immediately instead of just giving in.", he went into detail, not naming her or the relapse on purpose, so she wouldn't feel attacked or at fault. "This is a deal I can agree to."

"Yeah, alright.", Amelia accepted the addition. "So, should we seal it with a kiss?", she wanted to know, making him smile before he gently pecked her lips. "I didn't feel anything.", she lied, biting her lower lip and making her husband chuckle.

"You're naughty.", Owen grinned, connecting their lips in another, more passionate kiss, before Leo made his way into their bedroom. "Good morning, Sweetheart!", he beamed at the little boy, who climbed into bed with them.

"How come you two are already awake? Usually, I wake you up if the twins haven't done so already.", the four-year-old reminded his parents cutely, receiving a lot of love from them through kisses.

"We went to bed early yesterday.", his mother answered and didn't even lie. "How did you sleep, my adorable little Munchkin?", she asked her son, who was now laying in between her and Owen, enjoying the snuggles.

"Good. I can't wait for Logan to finally come back home this evening!", Leo shared with a huge smile on his face. "I've missed him and I wanna show him my new game that I invented with my stuffed animals."