KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU ⇒ jegulus one shots

I'D KILL MYSELF TO HOLD YOU ONE MORE TIME

The world stops when Regulus finally meets baby Pippa. Pippa Narcissa. The world falls silent, excluding her soft whimpers, her quiet sounds as she lays against his chest; his white hospital gown unbuttoned a little to expose his chest; so that she can rest against his chest and feel the comfort of his warm skin against hers.

When she is born, on a cold December evening, Regulus looses all ability to speak. He is not sure that there are enough words in any language, any dictionary, to describe the perfection in his arms, the messy dark hair, the pouting red lips. It is the second time that he has fallen in love with those eyes, that beautiful shade of brown that does not have a name, that does not seem to belong to anyone but James, and now this little girl too.

Her hair is dark and damp from birth, her blinking eyes an indescribable shade of brown that has only ever belonged to James. But now, now little Pippa has those big brown eyes too. Once again, Regulus may never escape James.

For a minute, Regulus thinks that he may have found speech, that his mind is at least willing to try to use words to express the fullness in his chest, the warmth spreading through him and the sudden feeling of completeness as his heart swells at the sight of his little baby, swaddled in a cream coloured blanket.

Looking up, Regulus opens his mouth but he finds James across the room, leaning against the door frame and staring at them both with such adoration that Regulus falls silent again, rendered to quietness not for the first time.

"You're beautiful," James says softly, offering a smile that can strictly be described as dually nervous and sweet simultaneously, as though they are meeting again on the Hogwarts Express as Sirius introduces them, eleven and twelves again. "Both of you."

Regulus fears that it is rather vain for James to claim that Pippa is beautiful. They resemble one another so strongly that Regulus fears he will never be able to deny that James is her father.

Regulus additionally thinks that it is rather foolish of James to claim that he is beautiful. He is coated with a shiny layer of sweat, his face rosy from his labour, his hair sticking to his forehead, dried tear tracks trailing down his ashen face.

He knows that he must look wretched right now, a sight that is symbolic of how much pain he has been in all day, having gone into labour at eight in the morning, his waters breaking at four in the afternoon and his baby girl entering the world, with bursting screams, well after nine in the evening. It has been a long, agonising day. Regulus had pushed for hours, his body is sore and achy; he isn't sure he will ever feel this much pain and love all at once ever again.

But she had been worth it all. All that pain, all that suffering and crying, Pippa had been worth every single bit of it.

Regulus would do it all over again in a single heartbeat if it meant he got to see the healer hand him his perfect, wriggling baby girl all over again. He can not fathom that she is real, that he had played a part in creating this delicate little girl.

"What...what are you doing here?" Regulus croaks, his voice strained and exhausted from labour, from bringing this little girl into this world, only mere minutes before.

Pippa is roughly sixteen minutes old and she has already altered Regulus' entire life, rearranged his entire heart.

"I...I heard you had gone into labour," James admits. "Earlier this morning. And...and I just couldn't stay away," He confesses.

"Why?"

"I...Remus has miscarried so many times, I-I just didn't want to be away if anything happened to you," James says, his voice hesitant. "Sirius said you were doing this by yourself," This being childbirth. "I didn't want to not be in the waiting room just incase something happened to you,"